my girlfriend just gave me an ultimatum...she said either she goes or i quit playing basketball...but i i cant quit basketball cuz this guy from a college are thinking of giving me a scholarship for playing.i told her this but she doesnt really care...she says we never talk and when we do i dont seem like im interested... but i play basketball all the time and she never says anything about it...what should i do...should we just break up??
2007-09-07 10:22:19 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sorry...i meant is
2007-09-07 10:22:52 · update #1
i think that every person deserves to be with someone that supports them and wants whats best for them. She should be thrilled that you are qualified for a scholarship and that you are going to go to college! She is being super selfish, BUT, I don't think you should break up with her. I think you should talk to her about it and let her know that you would love to spend more time with her, but that basketball is going to provide a great opportunity for you. Hopefully she will begin to understand. Good Luck!
2007-09-07 10:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by V A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're in High School. It also sounds like you have a full plate. This is your future that could direct your life's career...which should be first and foremost in your life right now. If you are, in fact, very interested in her want to try and juggle her as well as your basketball, you will need to make more of an effort to make contact with her and be interested, otherwise you are wasting her time, which isn't fair. If you aren't interested enough to talk to her about a compromise like talking with her a little more and be active in the conversations you have, then end the relationship. You will learn one day that relationships are about compromises...there should never have to be ultimatums, but if there are, they should only exist when there are things we call "deal breakers"...things we will definitely not tolerate due to morals and beliefs, but for the most part this sounds like a compromisable situation...if you are truly willing to spend more involved time with her.
I had to add, I've read all of the responses here before mine...bad advice, people. You are advising this gentleman to do the same thing he doesn't want done to him. Dumping someone is not always the answer. Most of having a relationship is compromise. Kiddo, you both are young. With something like this, since you both don't have relationship experience, this is why you got an ultimatum with this situation...it's sort of a quick immature response. She shouldn't have to feel neglected and you Sir, shouldn't have to choose between a career and someone you're not at the point of spending the rest of your life with. Do not feel a need to break up with her if you can turn your "ultimatum" into a compromise or you will both be "selfish." Remember the saying "two wrongs don't make a right?" Well, it can be very true and sometimes, people don't see things the same way (like most men and women in a relationship) so if you can show her that there is a way to work it out and she agrees, you both can be supportive of your extra curricular activities, your futures and eachother. It's really not that complicated.
2007-09-07 10:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls opinion: You give her an ultimatum if you don't want to break it off with her. Tell her you are not giving up your basketball because there's loads of girls out there who think it's hot to have a basketballer. And she can leave you if she wants. If she cares enough about you she will support you in doing this scholarship and everything. Maybe she just wants to get rid of you and she didn't want to dump you because she cares about your feelings. Trust me by the looks of things she does not care enough about you and your relationship. Even if you give up your basketball your relationship might not last long after that and then you will kick yourself because of it. Do the right choice. Good Luck!!!
2007-09-07 10:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. She is selfish. And that scholarship to college is more an important than a girlfriend you have in high school. That colleg degree can end up be your ticket to a great life in the future. But if you stay with her take this in mind. Chances are you won't get that scholarship, and you'll have to pay for college, and eventually you two will break up (high school relationships don't last very long) and then you would've given up all that free stuff for a girl that you wouldn't end up staying with. You'd be screwing yourself, pretty badly. And she'll leave the relationship with no harm done to her.
2007-09-07 10:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by All That Jazz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well a scholarship does seem like a good thing but are you serious about basketball being your career or do you just play to hang with the guys for fun? You have to decide what is more important here!
2007-09-07 10:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK a girl that tells you to give up your dreams so you can spend more time with her is not worth your time. You have a chance to get a freakin scholarship and youre thinking of giving that up for a girl that wont support you. Just think about this in the long run. Do you see yourself marrying this girl or going to college and becoming successful?
2007-09-07 10:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by freky8ss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would make a list of the positives and negatives of staying with your girlfriend and possibly getting your scholarship. Whatever one has more positives, that should be the one you choose. I really think that you should choose college because if the girl doesn't care about what makes you you, then she is selfish. You shouldn't let her push you around like that.
2007-09-07 10:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How dare she ask you to give up something that could drastically improve your life! You are dealing with an extremely selfish person who solely cares about herself. Anytime a girl has the nerve to give an ultimatum, one should examine what is behind it. Yes, you should break up before she ruins your life. Consider yourself lucky to be ending this relationship now before her ultimatums become more demanding and more selfish.
2007-09-07 10:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by SuziChi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't she realize that you playing basketball could possibly support her in the future? I would say, as long as your making her feel special, she need not worry. If she needs to be with you 24/7, she needs to move on. Best wishes!
2007-09-07 10:29:18 · answer #9 · answered by j c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is giving you an ultimatum, you should give her up. Why would you stay with someone who makes you decide between them and basketball? She needs to grow up. She is only thinking about herself.
2007-09-07 10:28:05 · answer #10 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋