And has threatened to hurt himself? When ever he gets depressed he stops taking his medications and he doesn't eat or sleep. I don't have any romantic feelings for him and I don't want to keep staying with him out of pitty. I told him once before that I don't want a relationship with him and he got so depressed he checked himself into a mental hospital.
How do I tell him nicely?
2007-09-07 09:13:49 · 16 answers · asked by Queen 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He knows that I don't feel for him the way he feels for me. I told him I don't want to be physical in anyway with him and he said he will deal with it as long as I will stay with him. He is a good person, I just don't want to be with him.
2007-09-07 09:27:22 · update #1
You simply tell him the romantic feelings aren't there for you and it's not fair to you or him. You should both have the opportunity to be with someone who is as crazy about you as you are about them.
If he threatens to hurt himself, that's not your issue...that's his way of trying to manipulate. If you can contact his family or doctor or someone who can keep an eye on him right after you break up, then they can see that he gets medical attention if needed.
2007-09-07 09:19:38 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
it's good if he checks into a hospital when he gets bad news. that is where he should be. he needs to learn to control his emotions. we all have ups and downs. I have some doubts about whether bipolar is a real illness or one made up by drug companies. I feel nothing but sympathy for persons suffering from illnesses but you know a person has to be careful not to try and find a legitimate excuse for acting out and refusing to take responsibility. Some people are walking a fine line on that one. Anyway, it's not your responsibility. Tell him as gently as possible that you want to move on with your life and wish him all the success in the world. He may be using his illness as a way to retain power over you. Good luck!
2007-09-07 16:21:36 · answer #2 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. Be firm. If he ends up in the mental hospital don't worry about that, they will help him to move on. You cannot stay with a man you don't want.
But once you have made the decision stand firm. Don't mess with his head by continually breaking and restarting the relationship. It sounds like you have done a bit of that already. You only have yourself to blame if he won't accept that it is finally over.
And....Martinmagini..........you don't know what you are talking about. Ask anyone who is bipolar, trust me, it's real! If you want to enter into email over this I would be happy to do so, except that you have your email blocked. That's a cop out, means you can say whatever you want here with and no one can correct your foolish words.
2007-09-07 16:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by dizzzybubble 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm I too was with someone bipolar and the situation was pretty much the same. I just told him (by phone because I wasn't crazy enough to do it in person!). I just stayed away from him and cut all ties. This had gotten to the point where I was afraid of him because he had gotten mad and grabbed me around the neck and left marks. I don't know if this is how you feel but for your own safety I wouldn't be alone with him. IF you must do it face to face then do it in a public place. Good luck
2007-09-07 16:26:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen.....HIS condition is not your responsibility.
If you feel afraid for his actions, then you should mention something to one of his family members or friends so they know to watch him.
Then, when he's in between a high/low, sit him down and tell him, nicely, but straight-up that you don't want to continue with your relationship with him.
Give him your reasons, let him speak, be there for him if he's angry or sad, and then offer to be friends, if you want that, but not until you've had sufficient time away from each other first....YOU will call HIM....if he is willing.
No need to be nasty or hurtful or callous. Just be kind, but firm, and then leave it at that.
Good luck.
2007-09-07 16:26:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it's not your fault this guy is bipolar. It doesn't matter how you say it, you're breaking up with the guy. You just have to deal that he may become depressed, but that is not your problem. You can't stay with some one just because they are depressed. You owe it to yourself and to him, you wont be stringing him alone. And he will get over it! It may take a little while and some medication, but he'll survive!
2007-09-07 16:20:16 · answer #6 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
its not your responsibility to make sure hes mentally stable. He obviously is not doing a very good job of taking care of his bipolar, and if he wont help himself, there is really nothing you can do. Tell him the truth...that you dont have those kind of feelings for him. If he doest something irrational...theres not much you can do. Try to support him, and reccomend he take care of himself etc, but you cant do it for him.
2007-09-07 16:22:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello. im bipolar as well. it is difficult to tell a person with a mood disorder that your no longer interested in the relationship. chances are, the person needs medicine to become stable, and to be able to deal with everyday life. if you do decide to leave him, it isnt your fault how he handles your decision. but keep your location safe as to where you are after you leave him. if he is unstable on his mood, he could be dangerous to his self and/or others. take care! check out bipolar symptoms and info on the internet, or at your local library.
2007-09-07 16:21:29 · answer #8 · answered by amc28092 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Move out of town.
Just kidding.
Why not just break it off and let him be? if he's gotta go to a mental institution maybe thats where he belongs. You've put up with him this long, you know how to break the bad news. He'll get over it eventually, definately DON'T STAY WITH HIM!!!
2007-09-07 16:19:03 · answer #9 · answered by Greg B 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, this sounds like a pretty bad situation. But the first thing that I would tell myself is that, this is YOUR life, and he has no right to bring you down. It's not your fault that hes crazy, and that you don't like him that way. I would tell him that now or else it could get MUCH worse..stop feeling like it's your fault. You can't help people like that. I would leave as soon as possible, and dont think twice. You can't feel bad for him, just put aside your feelings, and think about yourself FIRST, believe me you just gotta think about yourself sometimes..and not about how you're treating everyone, because it's just not your fault at all...and not your situation after you end it with him..so like the first guy wrote..RUNN!!!
2007-09-07 16:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by Zephyra 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋