How do I break up with my boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend has SERIOUS anger problems. I cant just straight out say "I dont want to be with you anymore" because he will LITERALLY choke me until I pass out. [he's done it before] My boyfriend never pays any attention to me. He never does anything for me... and when i ask him to do things for me.. he gets pissed and acts like im interrupting his game of "world of warcraft". Or sometimes he'll say "oh I forgot". which i know he didnt forget.. he just wanted to keep playin that game.. But aside from that. My boyfriend has SEVERE anger problems. I seriously fear for my life at times. He's nearly put me in the hospital a time or 2. Given me swollen black eyes and just today.. he kneed me in the kidney and I nearly passed out it hurt so bad. He has lowered my self esteem and I am scared to say anything to him because I always think that he's going to hit me. I Love him with all my heart but its time for this crap to stop. How do I break up with him without him going crazy on me?

Answer 1

I want you to call this number:
301-662-8800.
I don't where you live, but this is a place called Heartly House for abused women. If anything, they can give you a number to a place like them near where you live. They will help you with anything ranging from shelter, free legal advice, counseling, and even housing. You need help beyond what you can do yourself. I have been where you are, and I know how scary and overwhelming it is. The important thing is that you WANT to get out and you KNOW that the situation you are in is not right. Remember that you didn't do anything wrong. The fact that you acted as if you had to explain your reasoning for breaking up with him makes me think you may be putting some of his problems on yourself. The fact that he hurts you is reason enough for you to get out. You are making a wise choice. You are trying to help yourself, and now you need to get in contact with someone who can help you do that....SAFELY and without incident. Good luck, and if you need anything at all please email me at [e-mail].

And here is a link to their website:

http://www.heartlyhouse.org/

Answer 2

Take him to a public place. You know a place where there's a lot of people and he wouldn't be able to hurt you. Forget that you love him, or you might fall into his trap again. Lose his number, if possible change your number so he can't reach you. Just to be save, let the police know or have someone there to protect you because I'm guesting that he knows where you live. one important key factor-No matter how changed he seems, and how good he's become,screw him. He should have never rised a hand on you. Not only does he need help but so do you. He left a scar on your heart and it's going to take time to heal. Suggestion? See a psychologist.Also talk to people who've been in your situation and have found ways to heal. It might help! How do I know all of this? Well watched Tyra's show and this issue came up, also taking psychology. My advice-teach people how to treat you. No one has ever rised a hand on me. Not my parents- and some stupid guy never will, and shouldn't dare. You deserve better, and you should totally end this "relationship", or he might put you on a hospital bed or worst in your funeral bed. Some day you will find a healthy relationship-a person who cares about you and wouldn't want any one to hurt you let alone say him. Someone who loves you will never want to hurt you. Though, but you'll make it through. Just so you know, one bad guy doesn't make the rest bad. Hope the best for you! You'll be smilling soon not fearing or crying.

Answer 3

I am not going to waste time with the "once he hits you" crap.

Just leave. You don't even have to say good bye. Just leave, go stay one night at a hotel, or a friends or families house. Just take enough clothes to get by a few days until you can find your own. Then when you have a more permentant place, go with a friend, preferably a man, to your boyfriends place and get your stuff. Or maybe just ask a couple of friends to pick up the stuff for you.

The truth is, if you never want to see that jerk again you don't have to. The choice is up to you.

Answer 4

I think you need to change the way you think about him first because you should hate this guy not love him. Maybe at first you loved him, but after realizing hes a total douche bag, you should hate him. Fight back defend yourself, don't let him hit you first off, he might be bigger but your smarter, he won't hit you in front of other people unless hes stupid as sin, so don't be alone with him. You should post his characters name in the gaming section of answers and ask for everyone to go pvp his character in WOW, explain why they should do this. Also, don't be afraid to call the cops if they come over and you have witness and a black eye, they are going to take him to jail, and the state is going to make sure he can't get back in contact with you. While he is in jail talk to that guy friend that has been silent the entire time odds are hes had crush on you but didn't want to interfere with what you had with douche bag. This way when the douche bag comes by you have another guy that is hopefully not a puzz and will defend your honor and your face from the douche.

Sonojudan
"YOU NEED TO LEAVE IF HE WON'T!!!!!!!!! AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!"

Answer 5

Hi Ashley! I'm afraid that it wasn't he that lowered your self esteem...the responsibility is yours and yours alone. How can you love someone who abuses you? How can you love and care for someone whom you fear to the point of death? You needed to leave this relationship at the moment his behavior was out of the bag! I don't know how old you are but you need a safe haven from which to operate. You need to be with people whom you trust and stay there until his anger blows over when you tell him you no longer want to participate in this madness. When you do that, and not accept his lame excuses or profuse apologies, you'll have you self esteem back because you'll know you have the strength and power to act like a person who thinks more of themselves than this. If needs be, call the police...but get away from this maniac! Good luck!

Answer 6

This is a really hard question to answer....


but here it is:

1) when he's busy, call the cops and secretly have them meet you at your place.
2) tell him right in front of the cops.
3) have the police stay while you collect your belongings.
4) leave, and don't look back.
5) go straight to the Police Station and file a restraining order.
6) never stay with anyone who treats you like S*** again. Remember if they will hit you once, they have the tendency to hit or kick you again or do worse.... stay safe & don't be alone for a while, just incase he gets any crazy ideas!!!! BEST WISHES... you don't have to follow my exact advice if you don't want to but whatever you do, just get out of that situation b4 that guy kills you!

Answer 7

When you break up with him make sure that theres someone else there with you and have the phone nearby(just in case). After that you'll probably need a restraining order. And if he says hes sorry dont give in because this isnt gonna stop. A man should never put a hand on a woman that just says that he's a coward.

Answer 8

it takes a big man to beat a woman. sounds like he is a real charmer. go stay with a friend and have a restraining order served to him. he can be told to stay away from you, where you live and where you work. if nothing else just leave. if you decide to talk to him, take someone with you. he will be less likely to resort to violence if there is some one else around. if you really want to torture him, talk him into letting you tie him up (use whatever excuse you deem necessary and hand cuffs work very well). after that go get a broom or a frying pan and give him a taste of his own medicine. this may have legal ramifications though. just a thought. make sure you get out of the situation. it will only get worse.

Answer 9

You need to love yourself and realize you are better than this treatment. Get a guy friend of large size to go over there and say, she's over it. She's not taking any crap from you any more and if you come near her you will be beaten within an inch of your life AND you will go to jail.

Good luck. Keep reminding yourself you do not deserve this crap. Oh, and if you had kids with this guy down the road? He would do the same thing to them. The pattern just keeps on....

Answer 10

Forget about break up...leave now!

You probably should seek the help of some professionals, please check out these web sites also contact your state agency re: battered woman, any social services department should point you in the right direction.
http://www.snbw.org/
http://www.bwjp.org/
If I were you I would pack my bags and head down for the police station and get a restraining order and go stay with family or friends but not with him. No human being deserve to be treated that way.

Answer 11

Babe, you shouldn't love an
a$$hole like that. Call the cops
and/or bring your parents with
you so he won't try anything.
Just in case you think he'll do
something either way, get pepperspray
or mace or something like that.

You shouldn't be taking that kind
of mistreatment from a guy like
that. He's a definite loser and low-
life and you deserve better than that
NOW.

Don't take the abuse - have people
with you that can protect you and
have 911 on speed dial - or get the
cops involved if you think it's necessary.

Either way, my dear, DO SOMETHING
ASAP!!!

:[

It makes me, personally, worried
that girls/guys can take that kind of
treatment in a relationship. I hope
you find freedom today (literally).