After she found this out she attempted to work things out because "he" told her he was going to have nothing to do with this girl. She went to a lawyer to file for divorce but because she had "make up sex" afterward, the divorce could not be processed. She is contemplating calling the Col. based on new evidence that has been brought her way. Examples would be pictures of the two of them together, emails that are still being sent. The question I have is...if she goes that route will she lose all money from the military. They have two small girls that she is worried about (ages 4 and almost 1 year). She has not had to work since being with him so obviously she will have to get a job but will the military do anything to help her if he is sent to the brig and dishonorably discharged?
2007-09-07 08:18:24 · 18 answers · asked by americangal1981 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Here's the deal: Your friend can call the Sergeant's commanding officer and tell him/her what's going on, but unless she has a smoking gun (like pictures or video of the two of them having sex or E-mails with graphic details of their alleged sexual encounters) the CO won't take any action against him. You can't court-martial a troop without proof, and you can't order a troop to stay away from some girl because someone thinks they might be having an affair.
If your friend has enough proof, I seriously doubt this Sergeant would get court-martialled for adultery. It's more likely to result in an Article 15 action, which means the Sergeant may lose a stripe and some pay and get some extra duty, but he wouldn't get kicked out. But if, by some chance, he DOES get court-martialled and receives a bad-conduct discharge or a dishonorable discharge, your friend will eventually lose all money from the military. She won't get any help from the military once he is convicted and sentenced, so she'll be on her own.
2007-09-07 08:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Almost every conclusion that is arrived to in this question is false. She can't get divorced because she had make-up sex? Bull. Most states have non-fault divorces, she does not even need a reason. In the few states that require a reason, irreconcilable differences is sufficient. What you probably meant to say is she could not completely screw him in court because of the make-up sex.
She will loose all income from the service once she gets divorced. If they have been together at least 10 years and he retires a good lawyer might get her some share of his retirement.
On the other-hand he will be order child support based on his income. The military is big on making sure it gets paid.
The military rarely investigates affairs that involve enlisted people in the service. Unless both people are members of the service it is not even a violation of the UCMJ.
2007-09-07 15:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by davidmi711 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wants to cut off her nose to spite her face.
Unless the person he was cheating with was another military member, I would not bet he gets sent to the brig or gets a dishonorable discharge. While adultery is illegal under the UCMJ, they tend to ignore it unless it causes problems with the good order and discipline in the service. If she wants anything from the dad in the way of child support or continued medical care for her kids, causing problems for him at work is NOT a smart thing to do because if she does succeed in getting him sent to the brig or discharged, he will not have a job so she gets no money and the kids will be out medical care.
Also, you do not have to prove adultery to get a divorce. Just file one for irreconcilable differences and get it done.
2007-09-08 01:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important part of this question is missing. What STATE do you live in? Alimony is VERY dependant on what state you reside in. For instance in Cali. alimony isn't given unless the party has been married for over five years.
Child support will definitley be something that he has to pay if she wins custody. Judges are getting more and more liberal with granting custody to father's these days, so tell your friend to mind her p's and q's from now on.
I don't see how having make up sex has anything to do with divorce preceedings, unless you live ina a state that dosen't have a "No- fault" law. Regardless tell her to go on base and seek help from the (In the NAvy and Marines it's called the Fleet and Family Support Center. ) local family help office and they should have clinics for divorce and custody. The JAG usually isn't
alowed to help in family matters. There are also free legal clinics at your local government center, and since she will be considered "Low Income" her forms and filing fees should be free.
Oh yeah! He isn't required to pay her ANYTHING while the divorce is in preceedings, but once it is taken to their CO (AND I HIGHLY ADVISE DOING THIS! DON'T WAIT FOR THE GRAPEVINE TO DO THE JOB.), He or she can HIGHLY ADVISE him to give her some money every month!!! Usaully they will work something out!
As far as retirement( assuming he's a lifer.) I don't believe she can get a dime of it unless he is pllanning to be in for 20 years and they have at least been married for 15 years. I believe those are the new rules. It came down because it used to be 20.
P.s. I have to concur with Sarge. He won't be court-martialed unless he was fooling around with an officer which is fraternization and a violation of the UCMJ. Most likely he will go to mass and have his pay docked etc. ALSO tell her if she goes to his CO NOT to cause a big stink. They hate being bothered with drama! They have more pressing matters to worry about. Have her arrange a telephone conference with he or she and have her just lay down the facts!
2007-09-07 15:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by BJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One it is a violation of art 134 under the UCMJ for a service member to commit adultery so he can be punished for it. two Yes if she Divorces she looses all her benefits but the kids do not. three if she has court ordered child support the military will make sure he pays it. four THE BIG one just because you have make up sex does not mean you cant get a divorce. it has no barring on the divorce unless an other child was conceived.
2007-09-07 19:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by SSGAllan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Infidelity in the military is a sorry fact. But in order for her husband to get some sort of administrative discipline. UCMJ is very clear that there has to be physical proof of infidelity. So basically there has to be and admittance from one of the participating parties or she has to have pictures of them doing the deed. Meaning actual penetration.
And as far as the money situation. The soldier is OBLIGATED to provide for his/her family during the duration of the marriage. But as soon as the divorce is finalized the soldier will have no legal obligation to the spouse unless court ordered. However the soldier will be legally responsible to pay child support and retain all benefits for dependents. So unless there is a court order stating that she gets alimony after the divorce is finalized then she is out of luck as far as the financial end is.
She can go the Unit Chaplain and he can assist in programs directed to spouses and returning to work.
Here are a few links for you.
http://www.military.com/spouse
http://www.usmc-mccs.org/mcftb/
I really hope that things work out for your friend. Best of luck to her.
2007-09-07 15:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by army.wifey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fact is; it would be better for him to stay in the Marines, that way he could insure himself he would have a place to sleep and eat while paying the child support he will be forced to pay. Not sure how the military would work it out as far as alimony, but your friend deserves it all. Regardless of make up sex, bad sex, good sex or any sex!!!
2007-09-07 15:26:07 · answer #7 · answered by ggraves1724 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation years ago with 4 children to raise. I didn't hestitate a bit. My dignaty and my children have no price. I left him and raised my four children & another girl that I raised (due to her family having too many problems) on my own, with out childsupport and welfare. I worked two jobs and now I proudly say my oldest is (23) a CNA and still going to college to become a nurse, (21) Self-Employeed, (19-adopted) is attending 2nd yr in Univeristy of Incarnate Word - studying to be an attorney, (18) Just left to University in Brownsiville and I still have my baby (16) Junior in High School and working at a local hospital, serving food to patients. Now you tell, why does she need to put up with his behavior. How can she expect him to respect her if she doesn't respect and value herself. Her kids will be better off with out the father's morals.
2007-09-07 15:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by mms 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She will get child support. Alimony will depend on how long they were married and the state.
The thing she really needs to be careful about is going to his command. It could hurt his chances of moving up in rank, which would hurt her in the end. Higher rank means more child support. Also, if the pictures of them are revealing and same with emails, he could get kicked out. As long as he is in the kids will have Tri-Care and other benefits. I would leave the command thing alone.
2007-09-07 16:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by Diane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not really no. if he is charged, he forfeits all pay and allowances. At most she might be allowed to stay in base housing for six months.
If she divorces him and he is still in, she loses everything, but she CAN make sure the divorce decree stipulates that he is to keep the kids on his page two and maintain their medical and dental.
2007-09-07 18:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋