what is a polite way to tell someone that their grace taking waay too long?

Question

when I was a kid, we allowed Grandpa to say grace, since we were at his house and his table, out of politeness. It was usually in the form of a " serman", about as long, too. When i was 16, after waiting all day for my already- intoxicated mom, grandma, and aunt to finish making the meal, we waited for my grandpa to say grace so we could eat and then make the twenty mile drive over icy roads, back home. I made a comment about it and we didn't go to Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving, or X-mas, again. My husband, a diabetic, doesn't like overly long grace, and so we keep it short and sweet. Now that my grandparents are not going to be around forever, and we are invited to go to their house for the " final" Thanksgiving, I am reluctant to go. We live in Va. they live in Washington State. I also have 3 kids and I am not up to, nor am I willing to be polite enough to listen to a poorly disguised serman dressed up as " grace". help!

Answer 1

I dont know, my dad does the same thing, everything is a speach with him. Everytime i go to see him im always getting lectured about something. I totally sympathize with you. What ive done is learn to tune him out, but usually the TV is on in the background so i can hear the game being announced or something. But the whole grace thing, thats a hard subject to bring up. I say skip it this year, and go over there next sunday to have this 'final' dinner with them. Eat something before you go, and just let them say their piece, if they are going to pass in the next couple of months it cant hurt to let them go on about god blessing the food, or whatever grace is for. That way there not performing infront of the whole family, or you could always say that you would like to "bless" the table. Make it short and sweet.

For some people this is a very akward time, particulary for those who dont believe in this god character. Everytime im at the dinner table with my dad he sits there and blesses his food. So i have to wait for him to finish saying whatever it is he says while his eyes are closed. Also at friends houses who are religious its weird being the one who isnt. They go around the table and thank god for what their thankful for, when it comes to me i want to say that i thank myself for getting out of bed every morrning and going to work so i can buy all the things i have.

Christians/Catholics/Religious types all think that saying grace is natural, and should be respected. But you should realize that not everyone is like you, and you should respect us for that.

Mrs. Feilds - I have been asked to participate in grace, by people that know im not religious. It makes for an akward conversation over and over. Also if you read through what i said, my advice was to just sit there and bear it. We also dont know whats being said at this grace. It could be some negative stuff. Like how the grandfather doesnt like who his grandaughter is married to. Thats personnal stuff that we arent privy to. All im saying is that this 'grace' may not be as sacred as everyone is making it out to be. It could be a time where a grandfather gets on his soapbox and just preaches. And who wants to eat cold food anyway?

Id also like to bring up the fact that all you people are judging this woman you dont even know, on one question she asked. Is she really an ingrate because she doesnt want to participate in a custom she may or may not believe in? Ofcourse not, im sure she is just as good a person as anyone of you. Lets open our minds people, there are opinions out there other than yours.

Answer 2

You are right; your grandparents aren't going to be around forever. However, your husband needs to eat at a certain time or the consequences could be dire. (Over half of my family has diabetes, so I know more than most about how important it is for them to eat on time.) You and your children need to eat at a regular time, too. Sitting around a table laden with food and feeling hungry is hard on a non-diabetic as well.

At first, I was going to recommend talking to your grandpa and letting him know about your husband's condition and need to eat at a certain time. But then again, elderly people are very set in their ways and their traditions. This long sermon your grandpa gives seems to be a tradition for him. And since they're expecting this to be their last Thanksgiving, he's more than likely going to make it longer. Even talking to him about it at this point, no matter how nicely, is more than likely going to anger him and cause problems. (And if that's the case, it would just be better to not go at all.)

So I recommend (if you decide to go) having little snacks prior to the meal so that your husband's blood sugar doesn't drop through the floor while your grandpa is giving his sermon. That's what most of the diabetics in my family do when they realize they might have to wait a while before eating. It works every time. If anyone has a problem with your husband (or you and the kids, for that matter) having little snacks, just inform them that it's for medical reasons and let it go.

Answer 3

Sit and listen to it. One day, you'll miss your Grandpa's long graces, because he'll be dead.

Are you going to be so so busy on Thanksgiving at THEIR home, that you don't have a few extra minutes to spare?

If it bothers you that much, it might best for everyone else if you don't attend.

How can you pick at something so trivial, when you yourself admit it's their "final" Thanksgiving?

And when you are at someone's house, you don't "allow" them to say grace, out of politeness.

So how about you and your husband stay home and don't bore everyone with your selfishness and self-involvement.

Ingrate.

EDIT : Fenix - not when you're sitting at someone else's table. Then its time for you to respect their beliefs. No one is asking you to pray. Just sit there.

Answer 4

purely be straightforward! there is not any longer something worse than a female top a guy on, and the longer you wait the greater durable it particularly is tell him! purely tell him you view him as a chum and experience that any female that gets him is so fortunate yet I take excitement in our friendship and dont opt to injury it with a relationship! And which you nevertheless opt to be acquaintances. I used this and it constantly works!!!!!!

Answer 5

i understand where you are comming from... but i have to say that this is something you are just gonna have to deal with and bite your tongue for a few min. its probably just the way your geandfather was brought up.. and although it may be different than yours, there is nothing wrong with it. there isnt enough time in the world to thank God for everything... so im sorry but i wouldnt try to stop anyone from doing as much as they can.

Answer 6

It is one meal - REALLY! You are willing to miss out on a family get together - possibly the last - over something that trivial. You need to get over it - Let the man say what he will. That is to bad that you are so anal that you had to stop visiting your grandparents. I pity you.

Answer 7

For the love of God...don't go. No one needs a disrespectful, ungrateful person in their home on Thanksgiving. Let them enjoy their "final" Thanksgiving without your presence.

Did you even re-read your question? Do you realize how ungrateful you sound?

By the way...it's "sermon"

Answer 8

You don't tell a person that their grace is too long... that's rude. Just let your grandfather pray and bear it or volunteer to say grace yourself.

Answer 9

You don't!! It would never be polite to interrupt someone while they are saying a prayer of any kind!!

It may be their last holiday. It won't kill you to suck it up and go with your family to see them!!

Talk about being selfish....geez.

Answer 10

After they have said the first verse say amen, then if they comment just say the food gets too cold if its too long.