I walk as softly as I can, on the balls of my feet, toward the door. The sweat is beading up on my brow, my palm wet from squeezing the grip on my glock. I edge painfully slowly towards the peephole. God, please don't let them notice the light change in the peephole. I can hear my heart pounding in my chest as I try to control my breathing. My whole life flashes in front of me with every tick of the clock. Oh, no. I can hear a random country song playing on the radio in the kitchen, please God, don't let them hear it. But I can hear Tammy telling us to "stand by your man". Even though its on low volume, it sounds as if its booming through the dark dusty house. I see a cockroach scurry past my foot as I begin to do the unthinkable and look through the peephole. Every muscle in my body is taut, screaming "NO!", but I can't stop the insanity that has brought me to the door. I look out, and realize my worst nightmare. Yes it is the Jehovah's Witnesses.
2007-09-07 07:40:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
To give you an idea of who I was at even the tender young age of 12 (my parents made me get babtized in the Methodist Church at age 12 and then promptly said I could decide for myself then whether or not I'd go to church...I never went again after that stupendously glorious moment of freedom)
When I was growing up, they made the huge mistake of building a windowless small Jehovah Witness Church across the empty field from where I lived...
By the fourth Sunday of being interrupted watching football by the doorbell ringing on a front door we hardly ever used...
I decided to end this once and for all (and it worked...)...
I stripped completely naked (I'm not the shy type as you can imagine after reading that last sentence...) and answered the door with a non-chalant dead-pan expression on my face, and calmly said...
"Can I help you?"
They never bothered us again, and I can tell you, to this day, I can immediately ward off any depressive feeling by remembering the expression on those two guys faces (they were wearing the traditional nerdy clothing) when they saw me standing there buck naked calmly asking them if I could help them...they turned around and hurried away as if I was Satan Himself...
To this day...I wonder if they are still going through therapy after that one...
(and that is just one of many true stories I could tell you about the mirthful things we did to those poor Jehovah parishioners until I went away to college...)
So I relate very much to your quasi-question, and you cheered me up on a Sunday morning 30 years later with your keen observational dramatic novelette rendition of a Phillip Marlow-esque depiction of an event that plagues mankind to this very day...
Kudos to you, sir Knight of the Unwanted Door Disturbance...
2007-09-08 21:00:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
once you hear the term no balls, it has a distinctive meaning to each individual. No balls to three human beings ability being scared to get harm, or do some thing bodily brave. To others it ability being an avoider, averting conflict, or disagreement, or manipulating as a substitute of confronting. maximum of my worry in existence has come not from easily being an avoider, yet from being a shy individual, and being considered as an avoider. i've got not got faith human beings could desire to locate greater guts, through fact no person, consisting of me, has guts each and every of the time, every day. i'm basically a guy with a undesirable social mistrust and discomfort, and a few human beings see it as concern of disagreement, and as a man or woman, I care what they think of greater advantageous than I faux to care approximately them.
2016-10-18 06:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are alway afraid of the unkown.
People are always afraid of what they don't understand.
If you want to lose this fear, be an adult, open the door and ask for a free home bible study.
At the very worse you will then know what you are afraid of.
At the very best you will inherit everlasting life, and come to know the only true God, Jehovah and his only begotten Son Jesus.
.
2007-09-07 08:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by TeeM 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
We all use to run and hide in our bedrooms when I was a child when they knocked at the door. We would have to be very quiet until they left. Half my extended family were JWs so they really would hit us all the time. We'd have one at the door about every three days for years. When My son married one, they started to hit us again and we just ignored them until they left.
2007-09-07 08:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hilarious! Did you ever think of writing a novel? You're very good with words. LOL.
2007-09-07 07:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
LOL.
That was great.
Your glock. Sonofabitch that is funny.
Thanks for the Friday funny.
Seriously, i can't stop giggling.
2007-09-07 07:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by Nurse Winchester 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I loved the imagery!
I haven't had any of them knock on my door in years... I wonder why that could be....
Don't be scared - they're just crazy people. ;)
2007-09-07 08:12:02 · answer #7 · answered by Nea 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
very nice
2007-09-07 07:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by Le BigMac 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well... sometimes it's hard...to be...a woman,
giving all your love...to just ..one man...
HELP ME HELP ME!!! TAMMY WYNETTE IS HERRRRREEE!
2007-09-07 18:10:00 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Morgana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
CHEER UP''
2007-09-07 13:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by bigturkeyme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋