why a'm i so jealous?

Question

i know my boyfriend will never cheat on me. i know we'll eventually get married. i know he loves me more than anything. and still i find myself going through his text messages and calls getting pissed off at ANY girl who talks to him. i've NEVER been like this before. why now?!

Answer 1

Its a self esteem issue, and fear over losing something important to you. Most women have fears of abandonment. Remember, your jealous might just drive him away if he catches you.

Answer 2

I would have to know what happened in your past relationships just because you moved on to somone else does not mean those insecurities are gone. It is difficult to give your heart to someone if it has been broken before. Maybe be you want to be aware so you're not the victim of a surprise attack. If your boyfriend knows that you do this or finds out apologize let him know that you care deeply for him in fact it is the fact that you care so much that makes you feel there is such a larger risks in trusting him finally I would ask him to patient with you while you do some soul searching and get to the root of the problem, no one is perfect if he knows you want to change he might be more helpful then you think.

Answer 3

Jealousy is very dangerous. I've never been in a situation like that, but all I have to say is that you are completely wrong to be checking his text messages and phone calls. How will you feel if he was to do that to you. Not so happy(I hope) It's a violation of his privacy and if you do continue I fear that it would be the end to your wonderful relationship. You said it yourself- he wouldn't cheat on you so why so insecure? He obviously loves you and see something he did not see in all of his friends who happen to be girls. He chose you- be satisfy and stop the game you are playing, because I'm sure that you are not enjoying it. Make your life easier so that you can keep your man.

Answer 4

Maybe you have insecurities with your relationship. If you honestly believe that your boyfriend loves you and will not cheat on you, then maybe the insecurity comes from your side. Do you have any doubts in your capacity to love him and make him feel loved to the point that he will never look at other girls because what he has with you is more than enough?
A little jealousy can add spice to a relationship but too much will ruin it. Be careful.

Answer 5

Love is not jealousy. jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. love wants the best for the other, but jealousy is possessive. love searches for what is good and gives the benefit of the doubt.
you are very insecure if you keep this up you will lose him, he's not really the problem, the problem is you.Before you can really be free to love others, you must first learn to love yourself and accept who you are. In a relationship you need to have Trust, Honesty,Respect,Understanding and also Communication. if you don't change your ways from now you will push him away to someone else or maybe he will start doing the things you accuse him of doing.

Answer 6

I used to be like this with my husband and I was afraid of what people would think of me and what the future held. Now I just take it one day at a time. I love him today and today I know he loves me. Tomorrow isn't here yet... I lost too much time angry and jealous about things that never happened that I could have easily missed something that did.

Answer 7

Either there is something going on in the relationship that is causing you insecurity or you are developing PPD. Paranoid personality disorder
A person suffering from PPD expects that people are out to get them; they fail to trust their spouse or partners faithfulness and regularly assume infidelity. This person will constantly look for the underlying meaning in words or actions as pertains negatively to them. This person will harbor grudges and exhibit an inability to forgive, often times the slightest infractions. Many times a person suffering from paranoia will perceive any infraction as an attack on their character often times resulting in extreme anger.

Answer 8

you are looking out for your heart. I did and thought the same thing you are. And I did find text messages from other girls and after I found it I wished I had never looked because I didn't want him to leave me or me leave him. He said sorry

But eventually I kept bringing it up and he left me. So if you want to drive him away keep doing it because you are showing him that you don't trust him alot by doing that

Answer 9

We cant tell you why youre this way, we can only tell you that if you continue you will devastate him and lose him. Love does not show itself through jealousy. Jealousy is a self centered emotion that shows you are only thinking of you and not about him. You need to start focusing on the things you love him for and quit spying on him. If you still cant control yourself get counseling BEFORE you lose him.

Answer 10

You're insecure, I think you love him way too much, you don't wanna loose him, you're afraid that some other girl might pop up and take him away from you, is normal feeling that way when you're in love! BUT careful with all this jealosy because you might scare him off and you don't want that, have control over this issue!

Answer 11

you are getting insecure about yourself, if you didn't act this way before. lighten up. don't let this bother you. they are just girls that talk your boyfriend. nothing more. they are nobody. you are important to your boyfriend. if you had male friends calling you to talk, or any guy in genral talk with you off the street, wouldn't he get jealous? no. because he is not insecure and is sure you would not cheat on him.