I've been married to my husband for 6 years. Most of my friends are males. I have never really gotten along with females. I went back to school and bonded with a male student. We have gotten along great and have done many projects together. We have exchanged cell phone numbers and still communicate even though I have graduated. We have had some pretty intimate talks. He is also married.
Can a girl and guy have a friendship that will stay a friendship without it leading to cheating? I have been told that if a guy wants to be a girls friend it is for one reason, sex. Is this true?
2007-09-07 07:21:35 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I should have explained the intimate details better. We have discusions on sex and other topics in general not about each other private lives. My husband knows about it and what we talk about but doesn't like the guy simply because he says that guys only want one thing from girls. He says that guys and girls cannot be friends without it leading to sex. I feel that we are close friends and nothing else.
2007-09-07 07:33:04 · update #1
I can say with experience that there aren't many men out there who are real close friends with women they wouldn't have sex with.
You ask if it's possible for two adults to have a good, close friendship without cheating and I would have to place the ownership of that question on your shoulders. Ask yourself...are you able to be friends with him and keep it platonic? Do you involve him in parties and such with your husband at your side?
Does your friend know you are faithful and devoted to the man you swore to love above all others? If he's able to handle that and, more importantly, respect that then you have no problems. It makes me laugh when a husband gets mad at the man his wife cheats on him with when it took her to open the door and let him in.
If the man you married loves you, provides for the home, shows you the attention you ask for and is there by your side as he should be, then you have nothing to worry about. Because anything else is selfish and petty on your part.
2007-09-07 07:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Miss Y,
I doubt it's true 100%, but it does sound like you 2 have developed your friendship in a way that could inevitably start to burn, if you know what I mean...
There are a lot of people we can connect with once we get to know them more intimately, and when there is a boundary like marriage keeping us apart, we can actually take the time necessary to develop a deep friendship...which in turn could definitly reap some fruit...Be careful, if you love your husband, tread lightly & even drop the friendship, if you see it going too far in the wrong direction!
Have you invited him & his wife into your & your husbands lives, like an afternoon of fun etc...? It's a thought...
How would you feel if your husband started having some intimate talks & maybe even feelings for another woman? I know, reality is sometimes a little uncomfortable, but necessary...Best wishes!
2007-09-07 07:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by Ultra Violet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are just certain situations you don't put yourself into or allow your spouse to get into when you are married. Having friends of the opposite sex are one of them. It's cool if it is a mutual friend of both you and your husband, but not if it is just one of your friends. Your spouse is supposed to be your friend and your lover. If you are having a relationship with a guy friend and the intimate talk comes up, it is definitely time to chill and put some space between the two of you. Women are a little different in that they are into emotional connections, and if we have an emotional connection with someone of the opposite sex, we can't help but think about them in other ways. We then begin comparing them to our spouses. Men, on the other hand, will all tell you that they have had many fantasies about their female friends and would hardly ever pass up a chance to bed a friend if the situation were to come up.
2007-09-07 07:34:47 · answer #3 · answered by Topless 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have had intimate talks then you have been cheating. You would not talk that way to another man with your husband sitting there so you've crossed the line and now are a cheater.
A man and woman can be friends, but you have to include your spouse in everything you do to help keep you in line and so that your spouse knows there is nothing going on. If let unsupervised, it is too easy to cross that line.
You need to tell your husband and stop talking to this guy completely. Or divorce your husband and let him find someone who loves him and wouldn't disrespect him like that.
2007-09-07 07:33:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the guy but honestly, I dont think its right that you still keep in touch with this guy even after school. Having intimate talks with another guy other than your husband is contemplating cheating and thats wrong on your part! I would hate to have a wife like you, just put it that way. Its because of women like you that I have hard time trusting and that sucks to ready that you're doing this!
2007-09-07 07:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, it depends on the content of your relationship with this man. I believe that if you are having intimate conversations with him, it is inappropriate and could even be considered emotional cheating. Think about it this way, would you feel comfortable if your husband of 6 years had the same kind of relationship with another woman? There needs to be boundaries with friends of the opposite sex. There may always be only friendly intentions, but we are only human, and sometimes we may get swept up in the moment. Like I said, it's only my opinion. Best wishes!
2007-09-07 07:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by j c 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you and this guy are going to end up chating on your spouses if your friendship continues. Especially if you are having intimate talks, then you guys are going to start talking up how your mates don't satishfy you in certain ways. And some guys don't talk to girls just for sex, their are some genuine guys that only want to be your friend and have someone to talk to. However, the conversations you are having together should be able to be said in front of your mate, if you have to be alone to talk to this guy on the phone leave it alone before you hurt your husband
2007-09-07 07:30:27 · answer #7 · answered by zah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've had intimate talks. IMO you both ARE cheating.
You need to stop the intimate chatter. If you feel you cannot, you need to cut off ties with this person or you will be following a dangerous path into infidelity.
I DO believe members of the opposite sex can be JUST friends, but if you are talking about intimate conversations you've already crossed the line.
2007-09-07 07:29:48 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys and women can have platonic friendships. It doesn't have to lead to "cheating".
But I have to question why you're having "intimate" talks with this guy instead of your husband. Does your husband know about these "intimate" talks? Would you be embarassed or ashamed to tell him? If you would, then that's a red flag!
You are married, first! If you're not comfortable sharing with your husband the details of your friendship, then you need to end the friendship.
2007-09-07 07:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by Frinn 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel that men & women can be great friends without being intimate. There may or may not have been initial attraction on one part or the other, BUT that is not always the case.
Be careful with these intimate talks! How intimate? Flirting or just deep? There is a difference. Just don't let it cross the line..
2007-09-07 07:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by Arcadia73 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋