here is the story if you haven't seen my previous questions.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AngQ8ppLrt8x_Gu2OCRwPxTty6IX?qid=20070817132707AAWizjG
and:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiSbMfnumsDKxPTzudf4JKbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070905125830AAg1R3c
anyway, i've decided to give my bro one more chance to pick Kaden (5 mo.) up, and if not, i would like to adopt him as my own. My older brother agrees with my decision, and my Pastor said to pray about it (which i have been doing) and do what I feel the Lord is telling me to do. My kids on the other hand, aren't too thrilled. My youngest is 14 mo. and just got out of the baby stage, and is super jealous of Kaden. the other young children (ages 2-7) love him and want him to stay forever. The middle aged kids (8-12) don't want him here, they don't want another kid to trip over in the halls. and the oldest (age 14-16) love their cousin and want to help him, but hate being on diaper duty. out of space..hold on
2007-09-07 05:58:27 · 8 answers · asked by Trace 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
so now what? should i go with my gut instinct and hope my kids (that don't want Kaden around) will just get used to the fact. or put him in foster care because my kids are more important to me? i'm leaning more toward choice # 1. i'm still praying about it, talking to my brother and pastor about it, but what am i to do when my kids can't agree? i want to do whats best for them too. advice welcome....
2007-09-07 06:01:28 · update #1
Kids are pretty flexible. As long as your kids are still getting quality time with you, they will get over having another addition to the family.
2007-09-07 06:07:58 · answer #1 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would take and adopt the child. that is if your brother don't come through. Your children will learn to adapt to it. The youngest will be jelous thats what small children do. Personally I don't like the fostercare system. Don't get me wrong it is a great thing to have but growing up I have had alot of friends that were in foster care and the homes that they were placed in were afull. Not all foster homes are that way and I understand that but you don't want that child to grow up in onw of the bad ones.
The decision is totally up to you. If you can aford another child and really want to then adopt that baby it is the best thing for that child to grow up with its own flesh and blood any judge would award custidy to family before foster care as long as the cercustances are right. If I were you I would adopt that baby. I am sure that it will be hard at first but eventually everyone will get used to it and see that it was the best thing for that child.
God bless you for the kind heart that you have in wanting the best for the child and the love that you have for the child and your own children. this world needs more parents like you. I am sure that you will make the best decision for that child.
2007-09-07 13:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by mary m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to go with your gut. How will feel about this 5 years down the road? Will not taking this child into your home eat at you? It would eat at me. Your children will have enormous respect for you later on in life for stepping in and caring for this baby and treating it as your own. The 14 month old sounds like a typical 14 month old, soon enough will think of Kaden as family and a good playmate. I think you know what you have to do, if God wants this to happen, He will make a way for you to see the answer clearly. That is my prayer for you, that you will have guidance and peace in this decision.
2007-09-07 13:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by disneychick 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the majority is pro. Those problems you mentioned might even be there if he were their own biological brother. Besides those little irks, your kids love him, so I think its you should go ahead with the adoption. Things should go fine as long as Kaden gets treated and raised exactly the same as your other kids, and they don't get neglected. There's always adjustments to make when a new family member comes along.
I wish you all the best:-)
2007-09-07 13:22:54 · answer #4 · answered by ocean_girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly would go with your gut and adopt him. Your kids will adjust and in time realize it is the right thing to do, he is family. And kids are not always taken care of well in foster care either.
I could never turn my back on my nieces or nephews as far as I am concerned those kids are mine if needed and my sister the same for my children.
I also hate guilt and chances are you would have a lot of guilt if you let him go in foster care. I would be sure it is official adoption though, you do not want your kids upset and then get settled and then your brother come back and try to take him. Tell your kids that are against it you know it will be hard, but I bet in their hearts they know it is the right thing to do.
2007-09-07 13:09:45 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think the kids will adjust and be fine with kaden being there in the end, although there may be some acting out in the beginning.
as they grow into adults though, they'll probably remember the great act of love and compassion you did by keeping him and be caring individuals themselves.
2007-09-07 13:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by lilitheden 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best for child I think is most important BUT definately if you decide to adopt def go to family counseling!!!! I am sorry you are dealing with so much and good luck with any decision!!
2007-09-07 13:10:53 · answer #7 · answered by Mommyof3 BGB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go with your gut on this one. if your heart is telling you to keep him and raise him like you own then thats what you should do. the kids will have to make an adjustment but they will be fine in the end. Best wishes and I will keep you in my prayers
2007-09-07 13:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by mother of twin girls 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋