Me and my bf have been 2gether for a month now.Were both 21. We both really love each other. He always invited me over his place and I finally went over and stayed last weekend. It was great. We had sex talk b4 since Im still a virgin and he respects that. The big problem is i feel bad because I always have to lie to my parents because they would kill me if they knew I even went to his place let alone slept in his place with him. At the end of the month I am moving back to school which is 45 minutes away from my house and about 1.5 hours away from my bf's house. He will be visiting me alot, and I will go over once in a while as well. My parents already talked to me that my bf shouldnt stay over my place nor me over his and that we should respect each other. How do i tell my parents that this will happen ? I dont wanna keep lying but then they are really religious (catholic) and I know if I told them I would piss them off ALOT. I dont know what to do. Please help !
2007-09-07 05:49:25 · 20 answers · asked by spb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Since weve been together for one month I think its too early to introduce my bf to my parents. They have not met him yet.Since he lives 45 minutes away, my parents said its not okay for me to go visit him where he lives. If we want to go out he should come here to go out. They dont let me go far to meet with him, so he takes the bus here since he doesnt have a car.How do i change my parents views ? I know no matter what I do they will be very VERY mad and upset at me for going to where he lives. I dont even know if I will be able to tell them I have even slept with him (even though there was no sex). But then i want them to know cuz i hate keeping things from my parents. Now that ill be in school it is going to be easy to just go and stay over my bf since i wont be living with my parents but I will still feel GUILTY cuz they tell me all the time to not do that. They are super strict. I hate it, Im 21 come on, yet they dont care if im 21 they still control me. Its driving me nuts !
2007-09-07 05:52:34 · update #1
Oh and by the way my curfew is still 12 ? Im 21 and they still give me a curfew ? Im so tired of this!
2007-09-07 05:53:07 · update #2
Well, since you're already doing it, why not just come clean the next time they start to object to you doing so. You're twenty-one, which means that you are an adult, and can really do what you wish, so they can't really tell you that you can't stay over at your boyfriends house or that he can't stay at yours. (Unless you're living with them, in which they can).
I would just suggest that you make sure you are clear with them, that nothing sexual goes on, you two just hang out, and even though you may sleep in the same room, you are not going to have sex with him.
2007-09-07 05:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds as though your parents are providing free room and board, and possibly educational support. If you defy their wishes, you may lose your cushy lifestyle. My way or the highway is not out of the question, especially if you have very strict parents. I suggest deciding which is more important, a one-month relationship {which will end up in sex}, or the benefits you are getting from your parents. No one can answer this but you, please take the time and look at all angles. You are 21, and an adult, be responsible for your actions. Don't continue with the lie to your parents, sooner or later you'll be found out, and justifiably, they will be very angry. Perhaps counseling may help. Good Luck!
2007-09-07 06:06:52 · answer #2 · answered by Cecil n 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your old enough to decide for yourself. Since you went into that situation you need to face the consequences of what will be your parents views about it. I understand that your parents only wants the best for you. What you are doing right now is basically not good in the sigth of man nor in the site of God. If you love that guy and He loves you too why not get married any you are living in the same house. Your parents may get angry at first but soon it will fade and they will understand you too. However, dont quit school and to lesser your guilt feelings you dont need to tell them about it but i think if your not ready to get married live separately thats the best you can do for now anyway if your Bf loves you he will understand Love is not just a feeling its is also a Principle. Fear God above all.
2007-09-07 06:04:15 · answer #3 · answered by Ann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 21 yrs old. Your parents need to let you live your life, whatever way you see fit, not the way they see fit. The need to let you experience life, you are responsible enough that you are still a virgin. You should not have a curfew, and you are a BIG GIRL now & they need to let go. You shouldn't have to lie to them. You should also be able to talk to your parents about anything, without them judging you. Lay it out on the table. They will get over it. One lie leads to another & so on. It will catch up with you someday, so why not just be honest with them & tell them you are an adult & know what you are doing. Take care
2007-09-07 06:00:46 · answer #4 · answered by lori 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My dad is a minister. I went to a Christian College after 2 years at a state college. I met a man and we eventually moved in together. I was about your age.
I simply called my parents and told them I had moved in with my boyfriend. They weren't too happy, but I made it clear that I was an adult and capable of making my own decisions. I wanted them to know because I love and respect them and didn't want them to find out any other way.
You have to be brave, but I don't it's necessary to tell all the details. You are an adult and deserve a private life. Do your parents tell you everything they do? No, because adults don't need to do that. They tell you the most important things and you should do the same.
Your parents might be mad for a while, but they love you and will come to respect your decisions or keep their mouths shut in the very least.
2007-09-07 05:58:47 · answer #5 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What a freak!
Are you serious?
Okay sorry if this sounds rude but i'm going to tell it to you straight. You didn't need to explain all that. The fact that you are 21 and your parents are telling you what to do (especially when you are not in their house) was enough.
FURTHERMORE you DO NOT tell your parents when you have sex.
Not only is it none of their business, it is pointless and awkward.
Do what you want. Introduce your boyfriend as a friend.
If you don't want your parents to disown you then my suggestion is that you lie.
You are obviously not a catholic so you are not doing anything wrong, it is just their opinion. Also not everyone thinks lying is wrong either. Sometimes you need to. Since you are not catholic lying shouldn't concern you either as you do not need to worry about getting into heaven.
2007-09-07 06:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are both 21 for goodness sake!!! THAT means you are BOTH legally ADULTS - - that means you do NOT need your parents approval AT ALL to do whatever you want!!! I'm sorry they are still controlling you, and it is nice that you do respect them, BUT, you are no longer a child and you do not need to answer to them. When or if the question or subject comes up concerning your bf, just say "I would rather not talk about he and I." You do NOT need to share what you do with him any more, and I suggest you don't.
2007-09-07 05:57:31 · answer #7 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's time that u should be able to know what u want and why u want it ...Look u are 21 yrs old and tell ur parents that they need to relax and get ur bf over let them meet him and then from there slowly let them know that u guys love each other and wish have alittle more freedom that's all
2007-09-07 05:59:10 · answer #8 · answered by kajal c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay.. you are 21 not 16.. you turned into an adult at 18.. why are you letting your parents rule your life??? stop that immediately... or at least let them think they still have power and do what you want anyways. you are seriously a grown women and can make your own decisions.
i hate when parents are so controlling. they can have an opinion but they are not the ruler of your life.
so.. what you are going to do is tell them nothing. you are not lying cause you are not telling. and you are going to continue with your bf relationship however you may want.
this might sound pushy.. but you must do it.
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!
do not let guilt bother you. that is the catholic way to control.. they have been doing this for 2000 years.. stop this now.
2007-09-07 05:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
wait a minute....you say it's too early to introduce your bf to your parents but you didn't think it was to early to sleep with him?? if you had the courage to sleep with him than you should have the courage to introduce him ....remember ..you are 21, so that makes you an adult....so just do it ...it will be worse if you get pregnant and your parents didn't know him...so do the smart thing
2007-09-07 06:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by guess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋