I am 22 and I still live with my parents. I am a college senior and, in my country, it is almost impossible to earn enough money at this age to live on your own. I do work, but I don't pay for anything around the house, so I guess they support me. We get along pretty well, they don't question my relationships, with friends or boyfriends, nor where I go. Also, they encourage me to take the professional path of my choice.
But, despite this seemingly favorable scenario, there are things which make me think they will never let go. Whenever I mention wanting to move out, they try to make me feel bad about it and point out that I couldn't manage without them. I am smart and I was extremely appreciated by my superiors in the places I've worked. Still, the fact that I would like a life that wouldn't include living with them bugs them. At least that's my impression. My mom likes to interfere and call me A LOT. I love them and I want them to trust me completely.
Do you think I am right?
2007-09-07 05:44:08 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think the fact that they don't question you re friends and relationships, means they are pretty great actually, and not too intense. Some parents, even of college students like to put plenty of restrictions on who they see and where they go, so your parent's are "pretty okay". I think they likely just don't want you to rush into moving out just for the sake of moving out- and find yourself with roommates you can't stand or too many expenses. Plus they love you and like having you around :). So it might be oppressive for you, it sounds like they aren't all that bad, and just save $ and move out when you're ready.
2007-09-07 06:04:42 · answer #1 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My impression is that they give you a lot of room but they like to have you around. Mainly because they know that you are safe. Parents often will guilt trip a child into staying because they love them so much and they are afraid they might not be ok. Your Mom and Dad really love you. And if you really feel strongly about moving out, maybe they could help you find a nice affordable, safe, and comfortable place. If your parents have a hand in helping you make these decisions, and they know where you will be. And what the neighborhood is like, then they might not be so upset.
2007-09-07 06:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents sound like mine. The only difference is I have been completely dependent on them for the last four years. I went to Job Corps so I could get the training I needed to get a steady job and move out but they repeatly keep asking when I will finish so I can move back home. My dad even suggested the alternative of moving a trailer into the back yard so I'd have my own place but still technically live there. You need to remind your parents how much you love them and how much you'll always love them, and just hope they accept your detemination to get out of the house. Don't fall for the guilt trips either. Just be firm and pray they understand.
2007-09-07 05:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by angela_m_haven1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult! The best advice that I can give you is to move out! I know way too many 20 somethings still living with their parents and they are getting NOWHERE in life. If you aren't paying for anything around the house, and you are working, you can save up the money for the move if you can't do it immediately. As long as you are living under their roof, they can interfere as much as they want.
2007-09-07 06:18:19 · answer #4 · answered by Brandilynn S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be difficult for parents to let go and accept the fact that their child is grown and doesn't need them in the same capacity as before.
However, maybe if you start helping financially around the house you're living in, they will see that you are a responsible adult. Right now, they see you as unable to take care of things yourself because you haven't started stopped letting them take care of things for you. Pay them rent. Give them money for the food you eat or buy your own food. Pay for your own long distance phone calls.
When you believe you are ready to strike out on your own, go for it! Parents can still have a hard time, but it's normal. You are the one who has to make the decision and follow through.
2007-09-07 05:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sometimes hard for parents, especially Moms to let go of their children. If you get along with your parents now don't create any drama until you are really ready to move out. If you can't or won't give them any money to help with household expences maybe you aren't ready to be on your own. While they may seem a little over-protective it sounds like they have your best intrerests at heart.
2007-09-07 06:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like they do want to keep you at home. You should either bite your lip and just live with your parents, not talking to them about any plans or hopes to move out, or start looking for roommates that you know are responsible and dependable and get an apartment with them.
2007-09-07 05:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by Manny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats normal reaction from a mom when her children are leaving the nest
stop worrying and move out as soon as you can , they will still love you
B.
2007-09-07 05:49:43 · answer #8 · answered by ivan dog 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋