any advice on how to act toward my sis because i still lov her cuz she's my sis help me out with my question? please
2007-09-07 05:37:07 · 44 answers · asked by missmelynda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
your sister is still a human being she just likes girls instead of guys. why should that change the way you act around her? she's still normal
2007-09-07 05:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
whatever. You're not going to be able to act all normal, cuz your shocked. That's ok, your surprised, but you still love your sister always have. Be supportive though if you want to be kind.
Most of all don't try to act like everything's the same as yesterday. She told you guys cuz she wants it out there, she wants everyone to be themselves but just know.... that this is who she is.
Be honest. Things that would be nice to say might include.
1. wow, I'm totally shocked and have no idea what to say. How can I be supportive? Do you have a gf, do I get to meet her?
2. wow, I'm totally shocked and don't know how to act, or even if I should. I'd like to be supportive since I know you must have had to put up alot of courage to tell the family. How do you think the others are taking it?
It'd be nice if you could be supportive, she wants you and the rest of the family to know who she really is, that's an amazing act of personal honesty and bravery. If you can't be supportive.... or at least not yet... just shutup until she opens up dialogue with you.
2007-09-07 05:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by Ben B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already answered your own question. You love her. She was your sister before she came out. Is she any less your sister now?
It took her a LOT to do this. If she didn't think you'd love her and support her regardless she'd still be in the closet. Don't let her down by being selfish here.
Love her. This is her choice. This is her happiness. Would you be less happy for her if she married a man? The hang up's not with her...it's with you.
2007-09-07 05:42:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you accepting your sister. It can be really difficult at first. Because you have to change your perceptive of who your sister is.
In the long run though she is who she has always been and you love her so just act the same. And give her a big hug and tell her that you love her and always well. She will appreciate that so much.
2007-09-07 05:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a girl who went through this as the other sister it is crucial that you are both honest about how you feel about the whole thing and try not to push her away. I haven't spoken to my sister in over a year because of something that happened like this. Just let her know that you love her and will always be there for her.
2007-09-07 05:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by Angela P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, focus on giving her a lot of respect for being brave enough to come out (like, say this to her out loud.) It will ease a lot of tension if you can at least recognize how strong she was to break ANY kind of big news to the people she loves, much less news that she probably knows will be hard to swallow. Second, let her know you love her. (Try to avoid saying "I STILLlove you" because that sounds like you love her inspite of her being gay, and she make take that a bit offensively.) Just say "You know I love you so much." Add "I support you no matter who you love and what choices you make in your life." PROVIDED it's true-- don't lie to the girl if it makes you uncomfortable.
You can explain to her that the news is a little shocking if you like or just laugh and say "I knew all along-- I was just waiting for you to say something." When one of my friends came out to me, that really helped reassure him that I accepted him and his lifestyle from the beginning and put him at ease immensely.
Finally, feel free to ask her questions if it helps you understand. Just BE CAREFUL that you are asking constructive questions that are helpful to both of you. A constructive question should let her know that you are comfortable with her and interested in continuing your relationship the same way it has always been. Ask her about her girlfriend (when you feel right) the same way maybe you asked about her boyfriends growing up. Let her feel excited to share her life with you, because she's probably been hiding it for quite some time. Ask her about her plans for the future (but make sure you're not interrogating her the way your parents might-- Are you going to get married? Are you going to have children? etc.). Make sure she knows that she can talk to you and that you want to talk to her.
Even in conservative communities, homosexuality is not some huge social dilemma like it used to be. Don't worry about what anyone thinks. She's your family.
Finally, if over time you feel completely uncomfortable, like to the point that it stands in the way of your relationship with her, seek counseling. Don't let anything stop you from loving your family.
2007-09-07 05:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just act normal, be yourself, that will make her feel comfortable and even yourself. you might be a little uncomfortable at first being you are thinking about everything, but it will get better the more you act how you have always acted in front of her and if you act differently I am sure she will understand and give you time. she probably feels the same, but just tell her you need time to get used to the new her.
2007-09-07 05:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by jojo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know this that your sister is still the same person she was before and that did'nt change all of a sudden.She probably kept her secret to herself and right now she needs love and acceptance.This information does not change your relationship to her it only affects her own private life. So just be yourself and continue your relationship like nothing happened in fact nothing really happened she is still the person you know.
2007-09-07 05:52:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be loving and supportive. its a hard time for her right now and it would be nice if she would have someone on her side. remember that she is the same person and by coming out of the closet means that she will be a happier person because she is not hiding anything.
so.. be the same person.. just do not let her decision bother or change you in a negative way.
2007-09-07 05:46:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to act the same way you always have. Last I heard it's not contagious. Besides, it took a lot of courage for her to come out of the closet and if you're close she'll need your understanding and continued support.
2007-09-07 05:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by Ty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her. It's hard for someone to open up and tell them they are gay. All you can do is be her brother. She is still the same person, she just finally feels comfortable enough to be honest with you about her sexuality. Good for her, and good for you for still loving her. Don't act any different towards her, she didn't just contract some contagious disease. Good luck!
2007-09-07 05:43:25 · answer #11 · answered by outlandsishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋