As a wedding guest, do you shop from the registry or pick out your own stuff?

Question

We had a registry, but still got "original" gifts.

While I am always grateful for any gifts, I got some pottery. Not like useful pottery. Just some ceramic things in odd shapes that match nothing. I am not into pottery, wouldn't use it as decoration. (My 11 month old would probably break it)

So why do people insist on being creative? Wouldn't you rather give something that the recipient can actually use and enjoy?

Again, I am grateful that they gave a gift and everything, but it just makes me wonder...

So I am curious - how many of you out there shop from the registry and how many try to be creative?

Yeah, I don't mind a little personal touch, like one girl gave towels off the registry and added a few bottles of hand soap. At least I can USE soap. But those things that require a certain taste or interest should not be given unless you KNOW they share the same taste or interest.

Random gifts to me, say that you ducked into a drug store and picked up something gift-y

Blunt and LB - You miss the point totally. A registry is to HELP guests who would like to to give a gift that the couple could actually USE. It's to prevent people from getting four toasters when the one they already have is fine.

It's not about greed or demands. And if someone prefers to give cash, a check, or nothing that's fine too.

But I think it is a waste of your money to give a gift that will sit in a box in someone's basement.

Wouldn't you rather get them that coffee maker they can really use?

Or like someone else said, a personalized sign with the couple's new name is fine. That was thinking of the couple - not yourself.

See now THAT's a good original idea... the basket of coffees if there's a coffee maker on the registry. That is at least considering what the COUPLE would enjoy - not what you WANT them to enjoy.

Answer 1

Amen, sister! A registry is there for a reason. My fiance and I live in a small apartment, so we only have so much room for stuff. I already know of two people who are getting us quilts, my step mother will probably get us little things...ugly things...to set around the house as "decoration" (she doesn't like my minimalist decorating style)...and on of my aunts bought us something we won't use either....we just don't need that sort of stuff. We do need new bath rugs, towels, tupperware, mixing bowls, etc. Ok, the deep fryer and fondue set might just be wish items, but still. I'm just hoping people leave receipts on stuff they don't buy from our registry.

If people don't want to buy from the registry they should give money, gift cards, or nothing at all (although, this excludes those who said they give things to complement stuff from the registry...the basket with coffees is a great idea...it shows thought and care, and not just..."Oh, I'm at the Dollar Store; here's a ceramic chicken."). It's better to get nothing than to just have extra unneeded stuff to take back, give away, or stuff into the back of a closet.

Answer 2

I generally try to shop from the registry, because that way I know the gift is something the couple really wanted. But some gift registries are a little out of control. I was looking at a registry just the other day for a wedding that's coming up, and most of the items were ridiculously expensive. (I swear, $600 for one piece of luggage! Who is going to buy that?!) Many of the more reasonably priced items had already been purchased. So, in cases like these, I think cash is a safe alternative!

Answer 3

I almost always get something from the registry- for anything, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower because it is important to me that the person use what I got them. I did actually for the first time yesterday get something not on the registry. I found it while I was looking for some stuff that was on the registry and it was just sooo cute I couldn't not get it. It was a photo album set with three- one for bridal shower, one for the wedding day and one for the honeymoon and each album was labeled. I thought it was just too cute. Each album is labeled and all three go in a cute box together. But I am a little nervous she won't like it. At the same time though, she will have plenty of pictures from everything. and it's so cute!

When it comes to the pottery though, that is a bad idea. People should be very careful when buying things to decorate the house because if you don't know the person's taste you totally waste your money. I agree with you on that one.

Answer 4

I ALWAYS give off of the registry! I think registries are the best idea ever and it sure keeps me from having to think!

I know people that don't though. They are the types that want to buy a "crystal" clock from a department store for $5.00 that they think looks like it's worth $50.00. Then they give it to the couple and I am sure the couples hate it and have nowhere to put it! I really don't understand why people don't buy off of the registry every time!

Yes, we all know that it is rude to ask for gifts, but people with any class at all will bring a gift to a wedding that they are attending. And, it is a great help to have a registry to pick from.

Just an idea....when a couple does not have a registry, I always give cash or I buy several gift cards from restaurants that I know that they like. This way, after they're broke from the wedding and honeymoon, they can still go on dinner dates!

Answer 5

It depends on who I'm buying for. I've got to go get a wedding gift this evening actually, and since a friend and I are going in together, I'll probably get something a little nicer off the registry. I checked her registry online and hardly anything has been bought off of it. There's still a lot of essentials on the list like dishes and towels and silverware. I know she's never lived on her own or with her fiance so she'll need all that stuff. If I were getting something for someone I didn't know as well, I would definitely go with the registry too, because I don't know their taste. If its a family member, I go with something more personal like a beautifully engraved frame with a picture of a special memory and some cash or something like that. I don't necessarily stick to one avenue or the other. You have to take into account (when buying any gift, not just those for weddings) what that person's unique situation is. I.E. are they just starting out, would they buy this for themselves, would they actually use it, does it suit their taste, is this something I would like to recieve as a gift? As far as when I recieve gifts, I'm usually curious, no matter what the gift or who gave it, what about that item reminded the person of me? I think it makes it easier to appreciate even things that don't necessarily suit my taste if I can imagine the person taking the time to shop for it. Its kind of fun.

Answer 6

I would prefer to give something off the gift registry. I would like to know that I am not wasting money on an item that someone does not want.

I will admit that I add an extra item besides the gift registry item such as cute flip flops for the bride to use on her honeymoon that reads "just married" or a small sentimental gift to go along with it.

I love the idea of gift registry!!!! No one needs 10 toasters, 3 coffee makers, and decor in different rainbow colors....:0)

Answer 7

Personally, it depends on what is ON the registry. If there's nothing there that I want to give the couple, then I either bring something from OFF the registry, or I write a check. Generally, when I give something they didn't register for I try to pick something I'm sure they'll like or something that's universally useful, like silver frames.

I think the problem that you're noticing is that a lot of people give the gift THEY want you to have, not the gift that you actually want to have.

Registries are meant to serve as a guide for guests. They show the items the couple would like to have. But, by no means are guests required to stick to the registry (or to bring a gift at all). Those who choose to stray from the list should bring something thoughtful, though. I guess your guest thought the pottery was something you might enjoy. If it's not someone you see often or with whom you have a lot of mutual friends, re-gift it to someone who might actually like it.

Answer 8

In my social circle registries are expected and cleaned out. We love them. But we only use them for showers, at the actual wedddings we give money. I agree that I would rather give something that the couple wants and a registry just ensures that.
We occasionally do get the "creative" gift, however, its usually in a form of something hand made, like a knit blanket or stitched sampler which are always loved gifts. And when my daughter was the flower girl for my cousin this past summer she wanted to give her own gift and there really wasnt anything appropriate for a 5 year old to give her, so I let her choose something herself, she chose a pink travel jewelry case and a cute frame that was shaped like a wedding cake. They were small, but she loved that she was able to give something from just her that she chose for the bride. In this case, I didnt think it was too awful to go off the registry, I couldnt imagine a 5 year old giving a coffee maker, that, to me, seemed like a far reach. She shopped from her heart and I shopped from the registry.

Answer 9

I always shop from the registry. I'm more of a practical type, and feel that a wanted and anticipated gift is always, always better than an unwanted "surprise" gift. Registries are a blessing from heaven, as far as I'm concerned. I can still be "creative", and pick something that I would feel good giving, but what makes me even happier is knowing that I'm giving something that the couple actually wanted.

Answer 10

I use the registry for ideas on the couples needs or interests. If I am at a complete loss for ideas and there is no registry, then I will give cash or a gift certificate to a store that has a wide variety of items.