UUUUGH!! SO frustrated. Why do people DO this?!?

Question

Okay, I admit, and I have admitted before, I am overweight. I have compulsive overeating disorder, and have been struggling with my weight since 03/04. I lose a lot, then I lose focus because of some event like losing my job, and gain a lot back.

Throughout, I have always remained very active. I love to workout, I love to run. I am cardiovascularly very fit, it just doesn't look like it because my eating is compensating and I am still overweight.

The thing that is getting on my nerves is the way people don't believe my athletic achievements! I have completed 1 full marathon, 3 half marathons, one 15K, two 10Ks, and many 5Ks and 4 milers. I have medals, pictures, and finisher's certificates to prove it, and you can even look up my finish times online. Not to mention a DVD of me crossing certain checkpoints throughout my marathon INCLUDING the finish line.

Why is it, when I say I ran a marathon, people look me up and down and say, "YOU ran a marathon?!" It's insulting!

It bothers me because such an achievement should allow me to brag a little, and instead of a pat on the back, I get dirty looks. It makes me want to never mention it... which is wrong.

Have these people ever seen an actual marathon? There are a TON of overweight people running these things. We may not be the first to cross the finish line, but we cross nevertheless... and that puts us in only 1% of all Americans.

to the_only_solorose
a little harsh don't you think? You say "no offense", well OFFENSE!
I don't have any self disgust... I accept myself but have struggles
I am not seeking approval, nor am I projecting blame, and I accept responsibility for everything I do.
I don't ask that others be proud of my achievements... I only ask that when I beam about them, I don't get insulted. If they are nonchalant and don't care, then fine, whatever. But when they insult me it brings me down. People can say "Who cares what other people think" or "Ignore them" all day long. But it's easier said than done... and just because negative comments bother someone, doesn't mean they hate themselves and are trying to blame the person who dealt the insulter.

Find me a person who says they wouldn't be just a little bit bothered by a constant barrage of negative comments, and I will find you a LIAR.

Doesn't a low self esteem have to include not liking myself? I believe it does. I do not dislike myself... I am fine with myself. I don't look in the mirror and get depressed, I look in the mirror and look at myself objectively. I see good parts, and I see parts that need work - that's it.

Nobody likes to be insulted, and nobody likes to be told they are disgusted with themselves because they want to avoid those insults.

This question certainly turned into a lot more than I expected or wanted it to.

I wanted to know why people assume overweight people can't run a marathon. Not to be psycho-analyzed by people who have read a couple paragraphs about me on Y!A.

Answer 1

I am sure it bothers you but just remember that you are in that very elite 1% group and they are just jealous.

I have an overweight friend who has run a lot of 10K and has done a half marathon as well. I say

YOU GO GIRL

and forget about the negativity of others ( as hard as it is to do)

Answer 2

Athletic people are typically fairly 'fit' looking so it's natural for someone to be surprised an overweight person has accomplished what you say you have. They expect you to look more like a stereotypical athlete.

Don't worry about it...be proud of yourself. Even more proud that you're doing these things with the disadvantage of having to tote more pounds for your height than a lot of your competition is. That's not a small accomplishment!

I enter 5Ks regularly to keep me on track with my workouts. If I have a race coming up then I'm less likely to skip exercising as I don't want my performance to be poor (for me) so it's part of my personal motivation...I'm not the most trim person on the course, and by FAR not one of the fastest, but the sense of accomplishment is kewl. However, although I'm only a bit overweight, I don't have the muscular/lean body many runners have so it does surprise some people when they learn that's my typical cardio expercise of choice. ☺

Congrats and keep up the good work!

Answer 3

Screw what everyone else has to say!! If these are monumental achievements for you, tell EVERYONE!! If they give you dirty looks, just ignore them!! You are doing things that are good for you- not only physically, but mentally and emotionally... so if they don't "believe" you or have something negative to say or think about it, tell them to shove it! You have every right to be proud of yourself and I wouldn't let other's thoughts impact you by any means... its not worth it! You have acheived a lot with the marathons and races, so be proud of yourself for this and try not to worry about what anyone else thinks! I know- easier said than done, but its not worth it to get upset or insulted by what other people think... I am proud for you, and I don't even know you!! I know I couldn't do it, and I am 5'7', 155 lbs and I work out every day! So, just keep a positive attitude and don't let the man get you down!

Answer 4

If you are fit, why worry about what other people think? American society is prejudiced against anyone who's over a size 6. There's the stereotype that overweight people are not active, which is unfair because skinny people can be lazy. They just tend to escape scrutiny because their indolence doesn't show physically with weight gain.

Overall, I think people react negatively to you because they might be jealous. Perhaps they wish they had the stamina and persistence to run. Bottom line: if you are happy with yourself, ignore them. Furthermore, I can understand your pride in your achievements, but remember that they exist, whether or not you share them with others.

Answer 5

good for you on particpating in marathons and such as that. it takes severe endurance and focus to train to do one... something i'm completely honestly too lazy to accomplish or even consider doing.

although you've finished and accomplished all these things it seems you're looking for outward approval and you're gettin frustrated when you don't get it. that could be a source of why you cannot maintain weight loss.

take your focus you use in training for an event and apply it to your weight loss. it's alot slower paced and more long term but in the end your self confidence will bounce any negativity right off you and you really won't care what others think regardless of what you look like.

you don't need someone's approval to know you're the bomb. i think it was eleanor rosevelt (sp it's early, sorry) who said that NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION. you've given them that permission, take it back and work on your self esteem.

good luck sweetie

Answer 6

Seems to me if you were truly happy with yourself, what other people may or may not think or say would have no effect on you. What you are doing here is projecting your own self disgust onto other people, and that isn't right either. If you are proud of your achievements, you don't need anyone else to be proud of them, they are your achievements. You may consider that this could be one of the reasons you cannot overcome your disorder, you keep projecting blame rather than accepting responsibility for what you do. No offense, but that is my opinion.

Answer 7

when people tell me they ran a marathon i say that too. but in a different manner. it's more of a "you RAN a MARATHON?!" which often followed by a "whoa! that's mad! i've never even walked/crawled/rolled a marathon let alone run! let us all hail you! *commences bowing gesture*".
it is not that uncommon that an overweight person is more healthy then a 'normal' or more accepted-ly sized person. not alot of people know this, however. they often stereotype that fat=unfit, stick people=diet freaks and normal-sized=fit. don't feel bad about yourself! who doesn't enjoy the occasional cookie and cake?! (in my case it more of a... "who can survive without them in their daily diet?" i admit, i have a really crappy diet.) trust me, you deserve to feel proud. you're not a lazy bum like me! it's not you're fault most people are too dumb to look past their stereotypical ideologies and freely insult people like that. next time someone does that just think, you're as fit as them, if not more, AND you're smarter then them (stupid bimbo brains).

Answer 8

They do that because they can't run a marathon. They have not achieved the physical strength that you have. And you put them to shame. That is what I truly believe. Just keep doing what it is you do. Perhaps begin coaching others to achieve what you have.

Answer 9

Who cares what people say and people in this world people are messed up and good achievements.

Answer 10

We live in a sad, judgemental world. :(
I'm an overeater too.

PS-- Congrats on your accomplishments!