1- Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.
She's such a *****.
2-A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and
inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there
was no afterlife.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True
to his word he made contact,
"Connie....Connie. .. "
"Is that you,Joe?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then
it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun
and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd
be proud- lots of greens) another romp around the golfcourse, then pretty
much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to
golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch
some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over
again."
"Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!"
"NO, I'M A RABBIT SOME WHERE IN ARIZONA!"
2007-09-07 03:48:40 · 15 answers · asked by MoRmEx 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hahah that last one was the best. First one was funny too. Here, take a star*
2007-09-07 03:52:02 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Rachel The Great ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha both very good ! 5 stars !
2007-09-07 04:17:53 · answer #2 · answered by yjnt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha I love them
2016-05-18 22:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love the second joke, fabulous!
2007-09-07 04:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's true..the last one is funny! LoL...you can be a comedian LoL...gimme some more!
2007-09-07 03:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ROFLMAFAO thats funny have a star
2007-09-07 03:54:10 · answer #6 · answered by Jacob K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love the second one
2007-09-07 04:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol that was great i luv those jokes star 4 u !!!!!
2007-09-07 04:18:03 · answer #8 · answered by ☆STAR☆ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha ha. That is really funny thank you.
2007-09-07 10:31:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny. star for you
2007-09-07 03:52:22 · answer #10 · answered by asljitsme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋