Why do I feel a nagging sense of wrongness?

Question

I do the best I can and I believe that is good enough... Most of the time, I recognise that I can't be perfect, and that is why Jesus died for me... He makes up the difference.

But why is it that when I remember that my friends (or other people) are suffering... why does that make me feel nauseous? Why do I sit with my family, feel so grateful for the love I have... then feel sick that my friends don't have the same happiness?

Why is it that sometimes I feel sick when I see TINY little imperfections (like, I scratch my head, because my daughter has given me head-lice). I've done so much good... why do I feel WRONG when I've done all that I can do... and I really can't do any more than that?

It's almost as if I feel remorseful for not having divine power to make all things right in the world. I'm only human!

Is it hormonal, or is it spiritual? What is wrong with me, to feel this way? Do you feel like this sometimes, too?

My views are already exceedingly open, friend Akimbo. I'm a Mormon, and I learn from my own faith plus every other good source - Islam, Buddhist, Hindu, pagan, and science. I embrace the new and the old... all things good (as best I can, of course). Love and Peace. ;-)

P.S. I am interested in all possible philosophical, religious or scientific answers ...

Heartfelt thanks Daisy.

Hmmm James. Could be something to that. Maybe I am being impatient?

Jana. <> <> thnk u.

Horton - Hahaha! LOL

Oh, I love you, OM. LOL. That ESP thing is interesting... (my husband says he feels people's pain when he's doing a healing). I think you're right. BTW, I don't blame my daughter for the head lice LOL!! - ew, but I still feel nauseous ;-)

Answer 1

Mumof4, I think you are doing right by being grateful for all that is wonderful in your life. I would like to ask you, how does your personal suffering over the suffering in this world help those who are suffering?
If you think more on a spiritual level, your happiness is the best thing you can give to this world.
You are a mother, and you are raising those children to be a part of this world. What you do right there in your home will affect many generations to come. Remember that and rest easy because of it.
Mother Teresa said, "If you want to change the world, start with your own family."
You cannot cure all of the ills of this world, and especially not by suffering over them. You can offer your prayers for others, wishing them well and sending them thoughts of peace and happiness.
Yes, it might be hormones, but it also might be an obsessive thought pattern that destroys your own happiness in the process. I don't know you, but I get the feeling your children are still young. Three of mine are grown, and just yesterday I gave myself a pat on the back and said, "You did well, and you certainly did the best that you could at the time given the knowledge and resources you had." I hope you can do that now at the end of each day. If you cannot, then see what you can do better tomorrow and set out to do it.
Sorry for the long answer, but motherhood is special to me, and I don't like to see someone who is doing such an important job feel like you are feeling.
May you find peace and happiness.

Answer 2

"God will answer in His time..."

In other words, wait it out; it will pass, and you can credit whomever you'd like, although many people choose God.


I can tell you what I think, but it's going to end up being one of those "after realizing the Church is wrong, it nags at you until you acknowledge the realization and do something about it, then you suddenly become happier than you've ever been" sermons. What you should probably do is look at the situation from an economist's standpoint:

In life, there are haves and have-nots. In order for the world to work, there HAS to be both. This is why communism will never work in practice. The poor carry the economy just as much as the rich do. The depressed vivify culture just as much as happy people do. Canadians are every bit as important as real people are. (that last one was just a Canada joke... I like to spit them out every once in awhile). If you were able to bring every last soul out of misery and poverty, they would stay that way for a few months, maybe even years. Of course, after this time, they would simply revert back (not necessarily the same people, but a similar population sample), a psychoeconomic principle called "regression". The "happiness bell curve" will always exist, and there is literally NOTHING that we can do about it, except to try to "shift" that curve up a notch or two... ultimately, there will still be miserable people comparative to the whole, but maybe they'll be slightly less miserable than they could have been, even if they don't know it.

A smile, a "g'day mate" (you're in Australia, right? So am I, for the week... in Melbourne until Mon, then in Sydney... let me know if you'd like to meet up and chat over lunch or hot chocolate or something.), or a simple compliment will do more for such an endeavor than 1,000,000 kgs of rice dropped out of planes over Africa.

You've got a good head on you, and it's also good to realize that we're all in this together, and love is what makes the world go 'round.

Good on ya!

Answer 3

hi hi

1.no one is perfict....sorry

we can strive for perfection.my bike is a clunker, it gets me to were i want to go most of the time, but it isnt perfict.

some people buy new bikes and keep them emaculate, and get mad if there is a scrach, i had a new bike,and keeped it up, but the one i ride is the clunker, because if it falls over for the thousanth time ,it wount get any more messed up than it allready is

did some one in your past tell you ,to be perfict, mother or father or religion?we cant live to there expectations.with or with out jesuses help you are a nice person,and are trying to improve your self.dont try to be the perfict mother, the perfict wife, the perfict sister, the perfict spiritual person.just love your self for who you are now,bumps and all

i can say this ,but >you< must come to the realization,your self.
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feeing others pain

being a empath is a bich

...its hard to seperate your self, from others and to know ,wich feeling are yours and wich feeling are others,its not wrong to say ,you do it, and i will stay here.

if you ever feel my pain!!!!, sent it back to me its is my pain not yours.
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in ESP class we did psycometery,were we held other peoples rings and wathches, the woman that held my ring said im in THREMENDIOUS BACK PAIN, and the moderator said YOU SEND IT RIGHT BACK TO HIM,ITS HIS PAIN NOT YOURS .this was a big lesson to me that you can pick up other persons pains and DESIRES,and emotions, and you have to send them back and not be a spiritual marter
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mabe you are a idealist.and want to see perfection every were but we live on earth and dont live in heaven,i FEEL some one like a mother,gave you unrealistic expectations that you can never live up to and you dont have to compeate with a sister or brother.
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we all have fantisies about being superman,or superwoman and saving the world, with super powers.

fantisies are nice,and fun, but i cant run down the street and fly....bairly can fly in my dreams any more,WE DO WHAT WE CAN...and thats ALL WE CAN DO.

please for give the daughter for the lice thing not her falt.
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finaly you are under a lot of stress at this time..remember that and it can open you up to being overloded..superwoman,so breath and relax some time [not doing things] and you will cope much better

Answer 4

You are trying to earn something you already have. You stand on the shore of huge ocean with a little cup and worry that all the water will dry up and you won't have enough to drink. Gods love is closer than the air you breath, it envelopes you in light, whether you realize it or not. You can't 'earn' what is given freely and abundantly.


God is challanging you to sacrifice your guilt. Guilt has no place in the Christian heart. If there is a place in your life that is not filled with love, then fill it with love.

You are NOT responsible for the spiritual progression of others, God is seeing to that. Trust him to do His job. All things work to the good.

Answer 5

I've been seeing these types of questions alot and so I've looked into what the answer could be. Perhaps read Matt 24. Read it with this understanding...God knows what is going on in the world long before we ever came into it. Here is what is going on...you are being presisted at by a demon of unease...one that is plaguing you with anxiety and hopelessness. It sounds to me like you are a very compassionate person and that you might be an over nurturer. Can you trust me when I say that you are the only one thinking these thoughts...the spin around in your head bouncing from place to place while the persons these thought are concerned with have no idea you are stressing so badly on their behalf and they are going merily on their way. People are stronger than you know and often socialize around their problems...some are in fact miserable and got to great lengths to hide it. You are not responsible for everyone's happiness. As far as your kids are concerned...perhaps you have the "mother guilt". I have that too and I'm glad of it because it makes me extra protective of my children. The sick feeling you are experience is the frustration in knowing that not so good things are happening and you cannot control it. For instance...my children wake up in the morning, being allergic to insect bites, walk out in the living room after having been noshed on all night by mosquitos that we have taken great pains to make sure don't get in the house. Now I have to see the swollen, red welts on my babies (5 and 2) where there should be none and one of them has thier eye almost swollen shut. I'm gutted...may just as well have stuck a roasting prong in my chest and yanked out my heart. I see lots of things that don't even pertain to me and yet I somehow feel obligated to do something and I feel wretched that there is nothing in my power (aside from writing the occasional check) to change the fact that in places in the world...little children are walking in garbage heaps looking for food. However, this is what I think...I'd rather care too much and do what I can do and ask God for strength and resources to do more than to be someone who is dull, spiritless and willfully ignorant or indifferent to the pain and suffering of others. Jesus said the cares of this world would be overwhelming...they would be to most because they have no faith to sustain them so people either choose not to care at all or they suffer themselves because of the hopeless helplessness that they feel. I guess that's why I spend my down time at work in here...Its my hope to be comforting and informative to someone and to use my time as wisely as I can. I want to encourage you to go on caring but ask God to help you vent that compassion in a constructive, useful way and to give you some peace in knowing that this world is still in His hands and it has not all gone to chaos...not yet. Love in Christ, ~J~

Answer 6

Reading this question sounds like me talking. I have lived my life by guilt and it ruled me. Yes sometimes it was amplified by hormones and influenced by experiences in my life but at last I am starting to rise above it. My reason for rising I feel is due to my low self-esteem. I had been sending wrong messages to my self through the guilt making myself take blame for everything in my path. Now I pray everyday with thanks for the good things in my life ask for help with all else including the unfortunates of my loved ones. Prayer really is the answer bringing along with it the relief that there is someone who powerfully cares there spiritually for you. All the best as you go forth more in your growing path of discovery in life...

Answer 7

Do not lament for those who are alive or those who are dead. For those whom seek dominion over the world will die and return again to this world. This will happen in cycles until such a person finds the light within themselves.

The suffering they have does not hurt their soul, but acts to slowly mature it. Therefore why should you lament for them?

Everyone has their path to follow, and everything has its time and place. You suffered many times over before you matured. Would you have stopped your own suffering, knowing what it led you to?

Read the Bhagavad Gita. That story is about a Soldier who didn't want to fight because he lamented for his friends who he had to fight against. His friends were supporting a corrupt government (like the Nazi regime), and he lamented having to kill those whom taught him how to fight. Yet if he had not faught his own teachers, they would have called him a coward for not fighting for what he believed in.

Answer 8

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Answer 9

You sense the true potential of your life but are still in the process of discovering it.

Edit: Patience is important :-) So one must seek and search for what resonates with the truth they know. To be a student of life...and understand how Love and Wisdom work.

Answer 10

You must leave immediately for India. You are called to replace Mother Teresa. Bring plenty of food, medicine and bandages!