My mother passed away in Dec 05. I was 16 & my sis was 13. Well I now live with my bf & she lives with my dad. My dad did drugs my whole life. He is now clean again He has a decent job, goes to NA, owns a house & has a great gf. The problem is that my sister & I get SSI because of my moms death. Well my dad asks for $200 a month for bills around the house. I have no problem giving it to him. My sister gets upset & claims my father uses it on other things than the bills. I thought she was just being greedy with her money but I gave him $200(put in his bank account) because he called saying the water was was turned off, I believed him. But my sister & my brother's gf say the water never got turned off. I went & checked & it was on! I found a bill for the water & it wasn't even due yet! I have no idea what to do. I'm only 17! I mean if I don't give him the money he will be mad at me if I do give it to him my sis will be mad. What should I do? I don't know if I can confront him Please help
2007-09-06 22:35:32 · 12 answers · asked by S S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Next time he needs money for one of the bills, offer to come and pick the bill up and pay it for him. This will give you a chance to make sure that he is telling the truth, and also to see how he is doing. Maybe you can talk to his girlfriend and she can clue you in if he's up to something. You don't have to confront him, just tell him that you are putting your money away for college or something, and you don't have it to give him. If he really does need money for bills, then there is nothing wrong with helping him out, but that money is going somewhere. What other things is he spending it on? If it's groceries and legitimate stuff, then no biggie, but if it's drugs, then forget it. If I were you, I would try to help your sister set up a bank account without your Dad's name on it so that he CAN'T get her money.
2007-09-06 22:48:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something is not right. He has a decent job and owns a house but he claims the water bill is so overdue its shut off? You are not living with your dad, your money is your money. You shouldn't be giving it to him to support a household you don't live in.
Your sister is another story, and I don't see anything wrong with her putting in 10%. Those checks aren't that big, and really her money should be saved for college or braces or something big.
Can you talk with his g/f? Something is not right with this situation. Is it possible that he is using again?
2007-09-07 00:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he isn't as clean as you thought. Tell him that you need the money to pay your own bills. Just don't give it to him any longer. If he is good to your sister, and puts a roof over her head, then he should be receiving money from her. If he is mistreating her in any way, call Child Protective Services/
2007-09-06 22:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are 17 living with a boyfriend, honey , I feel sorry for you. A child selling herself is so pathetic and your mother must not have taught you anything. Having drug addicts for a family is hard. My advice, find another relative to live with and grow up, make something of your life. and ps. the money you get from SS is to help support you, not to buy dinners out, cute earring for your belly button and drugs or booze. therefore, the person paying the bills is entitled to some of that money.
2007-09-06 22:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Confronting is very different from communicating. Try communication, it's the best solution that people often neglected in terms of problem solving. You, your father and your sister have to sit down and communicate with each other. Tell them what you are telling us now here. Listen and understand. Give respect and expect to be respected. Age is not important when it comes to communication and giving and receiving respect. Let's see what comes out from your family's communication. Remember, miscommunication stems from no communication.
2007-09-06 23:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by resty v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell your dad about water thing..
go with your sis.
and talk about $200 very well.
he used for food or beer or something?
he has decent job right? so why he needs extra $200 from both of you? weird. he can pay everything by himself.
or he has another problem?
just talk to him very well.
you said you have no problem with $200. but you have to talk to him where is $200 now???
and just decide you and your sis gonna give him money everymonth or not.
that's money is for you guys right? you need to go college. use for yourself. if you want to help your dad, very good thing. but dont use money for drugs or something stup*d thing.
2007-09-06 22:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by askawow 47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do nothing..CPS will eventually take the child and throw her in foster care. Not to mention, she could bring unpleasant people around the child who could do things unmentionable. It is better to let the father know and have him go for custody. Perhaps she will clean up her life and eventually get visitation. Nonetheless, leaving the child there is far more risky than telling the dad. Best wishes
2016-04-03 08:29:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear you loss but you have to confront to your dad , maybe your dad didn't really turned a new leaf on the other side . you should really say it out as if kept on continuing and living with a lie , it could just get more nasty.
g.luck.
2007-09-06 22:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by Elriowiel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have your own bill to pay ,just tell him you dont have it.If he is lying to you he may be on drugs again.dont support his habit.What does he do with your sisters money?
2007-09-06 22:48:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a user always a user. he used drugs, now hes using you! its your money, save it for something special. let him get mad, big deal.
2007-09-07 02:27:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋