and did i mention that she would actualyl be marrying us? she is a vicar. But i want to get married outside, do you guys think i should put my foot down and insist on it?
plus the place i want to wed does not have a church any where near it.
my view is that you dont need to be ''in gods house'' to worship him. but i dont think this will fly.
2007-09-06 22:20:40 · 29 answers · asked by LBB 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its your wedding, not hers, so yes i would insist on it. Also, being a vicar she should understand that god is everywhere, not just in a church. As long as you stick with a religious ceremony (which you obviously want to) then its up to you and your partner to choose where you want to be married. If she isnt happy with your choice of venue, then maybe you and your partner should ask her if she really DOES want to do the service. It may just be a case of, like any mother-in-law, that she wants to organise and run the wedding.
A lot of outdoor weddings (inc in a hot air balloon) are presided over by vicars and priests. Its the words that are important, not the venue, so she should be happy that you are not going for a civil ceremony.
2007-09-06 22:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what a Vicar is - but I do know that in some religions, if you want your marriage recognized by the church, it must be INSIDE a church.
Also some Priests are not allowed to marry you outside. It is against their teachings.
If the religious aspect is important to you, you have to respect their ways.
In the viewpoint of many religious teachings, marriage is sacred, and as such, needs to begin and be blessed in a sacred place.
If having the outdoor scenery is more important to you, then you have to give up the religious aspect of the ceremony. If you choose that route, you must also look into what that will mean for you as a couple. Do you or your groom attend church regularly? Will having a nonreligious ceremony prevent you from taking communion and other activites?
Weigh the pros and cons of each decision and figure out what is more important to you. And realize that you cannot persuade a pastor, priest, minister or vicar to go against the teachings of their faith... and you shouldn't.
2007-09-07 02:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a problem with this issue too, so let me help.
I am religious, and wanted to marry in a church and then someone helped me on this forum...
If a church burns to the ground, there is still a church-a church is the PEOPLE in it, not the building. Sure, a building is God´s house, but what about churchs in the US where the church is being built, and the people meet in a school gym? A church is the people, and I am sure a lot of vicars would have to agree with this analogy.
Best wishes to you-we married in a chapel in Las Vegas with a reverend who prayed for our marriage, and the songs were very traditional-things appropriate just like in a church.
2007-09-07 02:12:19 · answer #3 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not religious but I don't believe that god only watches over people in churches. If there's a god, he's everywhere - especially in nature! Buildings are man-made but nature and the outdoors would be made by god. We can't build trees! I think getting married outdoors would bring you even closer to god than inside a church.
How does your fiance feel? I personally wouldn't have my future MIL conduct the ceremony but that's just me. Maybe you can get someone else and ask her to "enjoy herself as a guest"... Or, tell her you're going to get married at ___ and if she decides she doesn't like it, then you can find someone else to do the ceremony.
Have your fiance speak with her about it. He probably has more pull than you do and hopefully you're on the same page with this one.
2007-09-07 00:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If more people spent their time with God during the week they wouldnt have to spend all day Sunday with Him.
With that said, your MIL is a vicarand as such she is aware of all the frailties of hers and othrs religions.. Ask her, gently if she would object to a christian outdoor ceremony.
God created the heavens and the Earth, he didnt create the churches and temples., that is man's design.
Ask that she consider that you be able to be married on top of God's creation and not in a house built by man. I am sure that if you put it that way she will understand.
2007-09-07 09:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by psstoffagain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would marry in her church, partly because I would realise how much it would mean to her. I do not think such compromise is unreasonable. I would want to voice my choice of hymns, readings and the actual vows - the most important part.
You do not say what your husband to be would prefer. Many brides harp on about it being 'their day' - not so. It is the bride and grooms marriage and a celebration shared with family and friend. Marriage/relationships are all about compromise; if you cannot resolve this one issue you may well struggle to maintain a longt and happy marriage. If the outdoors is imortant to you can you make the outdoors more involved in the reception and photos.
2007-09-06 23:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by megane 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I will say this: It is your wedding, your day and your happiness. Your mother-in-law has nothing to do with it apart from the fact she is only marrying you. Ultimately it is your decision and of course your partners. It a great idea to be married outside. good grief, They were getting married outside well before churches were built. I hope it is a beautiful day for you...bright, warm and plenty of sunshine.
2007-09-06 22:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
traditionally the bride is married in HER church or chosen place, not the groom's. it extremely is the bride's ingredient who traditionally will pay for the marriage and reception. sure, it extremely is great to have your better half's mom's enter, however the surprising determination is yours. She could have an overriding non secular motives she feels crucial it extremely is invaluable to marry in her church or the marriage could be invalid (some strict Roman Catholics have faith so). if so you may properly be "blessed" by ability of that church to acknowlege your wedding ceremony after the reality. You and your fiance could desire to modern a united front and lovingly insist your marriage would be held on the church of your decision. She could desire to comprehend that while you're grownup sufficient to marry, pass and provide help to to make options that are top for you. in spite of each and every little thing, you *are* getting married in a church by ability of a Pastor and that could desire to be sufficient for her. pass forward and seek for suggestion from along with your very own residence church and Pastor, get the premarital counselling by ability of him, and set your preparations. while your destiny mom in regulation sees you doing issues decently and so as, she'll come around. basically be loving and supply her time.
2016-10-18 05:14:24 · answer #8 · answered by broderic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with your fiance and discuss this with her.
I am getting married on the beach and we were inititally told taht a priest would not marry us there so we are getting a different pastor to marry us. All that matters if that we get the holy blessing.
Talk this over with her. If you want to get maried outside, you should be ablet o do it. IT's YOUR wedding!
Good luck!
2007-09-07 06:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to my religious beliefs, Jesus worshipped in homes. He preached and taught to a lot of people outdoors. People will say that is because there was no building to put them all in...well I say that is limiting the power and planning of God.
We got married in a park under some very large trees. God made them. What better temple is there than that?
One thing that concerns me is if she is marrying you, will this give her the right to interfere in your marriage if there is problems?
2007-09-06 22:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Mom of 2 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋