This isn't an easy ? but my mom is angry that she didn't raise me better then she lashes out at me knowing certian things are her fault. I.E. : my not having a father or any positive role model to help guide me OR not being around growing up. Your basic abandonment/mother daughter love hate relationship song & dance. I have been in therapy for years & she has just as bad a temper as me if not worse. Why is she forcing ME into therapy but NOT admitting she has a problem too? I'm NOT a little girl FYI I am 25 years old & waiting to move out in Apri to my own house in Colorado & if she's not careful she may never see me again. I don't want it to come to that however in spite of it all I DO love her.
2007-09-06 22:09:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Mrs Mom of 24 y/o twins you are rude & I bet yout kids never talk to u either.
2007-09-07 19:33:26 · update #1
Your mother is acting out of guilt She needs to relize you do the best you can with what you have You will and do make mistakes The mistakes you apolize for learn from them and move on Make the best of the future Do not relive the past over and over it is done with you can t change it You how ever can change and improve in the future She needs counseling and she needs to forgive herself You need to keep going to counseling and get your life and apartment together Do not write your mom off She is now probablly stresseing life without you She is praying you will not follow in her foot steps Assure her you will be okay and to get help for herself Then let it go Do not argue with her any more or rehash the past look to the future And tell her you expect her to also
2007-09-06 22:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With the kind of threat you just made its obvious that you are blaming your mom for what you see as misfortune. It sounds like you spend alot of time with the psychobabble and making her feel guilty is your way of punishing her. You need to change counselors if after years of counseling, this is the best you can do.
I can't address the abandonment situaton because you didn't say in what way she abandoned you. If she left you with friends while she partied, that's one thing. If she had to work to support you, that's something else. You're still living off of her at age 25, she must had done something right.
Love has nothing to do with this situation and it sounds like you are using it like a club, hitting her over the head with it "I love you even though you failed me." Love is unconditional, and its possible to love and still be angry at a persons behavior.
You are blaming your failures in life, (and all that foot stomping "I'm NOT a little girl!!!"), on her. Well kiddo, you are a grown woman. Stop putting the blame on other people and start taking it on yourself and maybe you would get somewhere. You are responsible for your life. So maybe you had a bad parenting situation, or maybe you are a selfish brat. Either way, its over and done with. Stop blaming, start embracing your responsibilites and see if you don't look at things alittle differently. Not seeing you again might actually be the best thing for your mom, then she gets her life back.
2007-09-07 00:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hi sweetheart youre mumcould well be feeling that she has let you down as there was no dad in the picture and this will make her angry and a bit frustrated about it ,so she is desparetly trying to make sure that you dont make the same mistakes as her and she is pushing you into counselling as she is scared that this has caused you to have problems in any relationship,youre mum loves you and wants you to have a great future with no baggage that would cause you problems ,when you move to youre own place things could well settle for the 2 of you and you 2 could have the best relationship going ,dont give up on youre mum as she isnt giving up on you ,........sit down and talk to each other take care of each other xx
2007-09-06 22:30:11 · answer #3 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both need to sit down CALMLY and talk about things, come upon an agreement like whoever gets mad at the other for no reason should to something to make it up to her..
don't think it was easy for your mum to raise you up by herself, its not her fault that your father was not around... maybe its him that left her...
have you tried asking her the whole story?
try to understand your mother, she is forcing you to go for therapy because she is desparate to repair your relationship and hers....
talk to her, tell her that if she wants you to go for therapy, she should be there with you, at least trick her into it by saying that you realy need her there. that her support and love is important when she is in therapy with you..
she will benefit from it, you both will. try and be calm if she gets angry, only you can help her, she has only you...
she needs you...
you are everything to her...
just that she is down because she feels that she has not given you enough, ensure her youare happy with her and you would not trade this life for any other and most importantly you love her
2007-09-06 22:35:45 · answer #4 · answered by baby gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good that your are saying what must be said. You are an adult and you do owe yourself a good safe life - not just physically but psychologically and emotionally. In some countries, like say in IndoChina region, old folks live in poor hygiene conditions. Their adult children, through education, make the decision to move out, live in better conditions and be healthier. It doesn't change their family ties. No blame need be set on anyone. But you have the power to choose what is best for yourself, and for your future. So does your mum, but if she remains where she is, it does not change your power to choose. I wish you all the very best...
2007-09-06 22:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by Brains 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well for one, you dont just up and abandon your mom to never see her again... your going to be just as much at fault for not having a relationship with her as she has with you at times. moveing out would be a really good idea though. move out before you loose the relationship. it could save it! but stay in touch with your mother!
2007-09-06 23:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by sugar_baby35712 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried sitting talking to your mother about this.
maybe she feels guilty about the lack of a father and feels she has lets you down have you actually told her how much of an influence she has been and how much you love her.have you told her that you were fine with the fact that she was there for you and it probably was better that way.
2007-09-06 22:22:49 · answer #7 · answered by bellyfatpig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋