I have been living in my partners home town for 3 years since 2004 , and it was a trek for me since im a city chick with a open mind,.I thought this would be interesting.Now I hate it here since I realised it wasnt working in so many ways .One of them was my butting in , overly needly over talker , passive aggressive selfish only caring for her son's welfare mother in law.Now I have mentioned to her im going back to the city and she thinks by me going her son will follow which he will eventually in a years time or so.Mother keeps mentioning to me to stay in this town by meeting other country people, but I already know the novelty has worn off and I need to stretch my wings and grow instead of hiding in the country.I need more mental stimulation and culture.Since I arrived the mother in law saw me as a threat and competition , and now that she knows Im leaving she's sweet as pie.I knew she was going to behave like this, but it only makes my departure hard.
How do I handle this one ?
2007-09-06 21:09:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Pack and run and don't look back. This temporary sweet as pie will not last, she is controlling and it will get worse.
2007-09-07 08:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by beliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not make this about his mother. What she thinks should not mean anything to you in your situation. If going back to the city is what is best for you then go for it. If he follows you and wants a future with you then that is up to the both of you to decide and work out the details. I would say that if you are going to marry him then take a good look at his mother as that is what you are going to be dealing with every holiday, family function and get together. If he can't put her in her place and put you first if you marry him then forget the country boy and find a guy in the city. I only say this as marriage is hard enough you don't need the extra added drama of stress from an overbearing, mother in law.
2007-09-07 10:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know its hard and you just want to get away. If you don't leave his mother will ruin your marriage and make problems between you and yoru husband. Try to be be strong a little longer, and try not to leave with out your husband. You are married to your husband and he needs to understand that. If he loves you, he will understand how you feel if you tell him about his mother. I am not sure how he will take it since it is a hard subject, but you have to tell him. He can then choose to leave with you or not. My mother always told me, when you are married your husband or wife comes first, then your parents come second. Best of luck, I hope he leaves with you. I least give the big city a try! Take care
2007-09-07 05:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by Ruby 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you need to do. If you stay, and are unhappy, you will subconsciously have bad feelings for your partner. Tell the mother in law that you appreciate her hospitality, but you feel that you just don't fit in there.
2007-09-07 04:17:23 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with your partner about how the mother in law acts and makes you feel. Be gentle about it tho as its his mom. He needs to see what being there and dealing with her does to you as it affects him as well. In the end...whether he follows you or not...you have to do what is right for you.
2007-09-07 04:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by Moon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you want to lose your husband take him with you or don't go until he can go.Because you can bet she is already looking for him another woman who will stay in the country with him & her.
2007-09-07 04:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by thepeacelover01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go. Try couples counseling. Talk to your partner about the mother in law but please dont let her win. This is what she wants from you, for you to leave
2007-09-07 04:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋