I am a High School Football coach And Need Help with another Coach?

Question

I am a christian and I am Very positive to the kids. I also Call Defence and have been on different team as A D cordainatior. Well the Other Coaches Yell at kids saying they are losers and Fags. I am Very afended By these Remarks. I try to encourage the kids and Being Positive. But then get yelled at by the head coach and talking down to me like am a Player. He is 47 and I am 27. This is his first year as head coach and My 7th as a d coach. I need Help or advice on how to deal with The Coaches and players so we can get along and Play Football. I don't want to sound like a sissy. Cause i'm not. I am Just a Beliver of God and want to fellowship with Everyone I come in to Contact with. any Suggestions is appreicated

Answer 1

That's a tough situation. Sometimes, it's hard to stand up for what's right. But there's nothing right about tearing down kids emotionally. What does it say about a 47-year-old man if he has to go around calling kids "losers" and worse? Let him know that you find it unacceptable, or at least that you refuse to do it. There are ways of saying, "I'm not doing that" without sounding like a sissy. But if you can't change him, you can still feel good about the fact that your positive influence on the players will be felt years after they've left your team. Be as positive as you can, because you may be the only positive voice some of these kids are hearing.

Answer 2

Well dude, I am often assistant coach for hockey. I aint a christian or nothin, but I run into this crap all the time. I have had coaches call kids worse stuff than that. I usually say somethin if they get too abusive...like I will say "hey dude thats a 13yo kid lay off". Sometimes they give me the evil eye, but I just stare em down. About half the time they stop it tho.

Even tho I am only 19yo, I still can go at it and I've got in a fight with a coach before over this very thing and he came out 2nd. He don't mess with the kids like that any more either. He was pretty bad callin em little f-ers and saying racist stuff.

Coaches tho get really hyper when eggin the kids on and sometime they inadvertantly will cuss at em. A lotta times later on they do got the guts to say they are sorry to the kids for cussin at em tho.

And then coaches have gotta sometimes make kids get pissed to motivate em. Some coaches go a bit overboard with that. U can go at em rough and hard without degradin em.

I'm thinkin u need to stand up firmly right in that head coach's face and win the battle of wills. Don't let him talk down to u. U gotta keep up on him. Coaches love to bully...it's part of their nature. U just gotta bully harder and never back down.

U might have some conflicts in the beginning, but it will settle down once they know u aint gonna take their crap. After that things should smooth out decent.

Answer 3

Dear Coach Garcia,

i think first you can purchase a copy of Tony Dungy's book (he's a wonderful living example) of how you can succeed without being "profane" and abusive (verbally or mentally) to football players. (He may have some principals and real-life situations or philosophies that you may be able to relate to well).

You got to keep in mind that you can't change other people-- esp. because the other coaches don't have a reason not to cuss, and that's maybe the way they were taught. I would encourage you just to continue being the witness that you are and be a great Defensive Coordinator. As the Scriptures say let your light shine before men that they may see your father in heaven, and praise him.

This will require a lot of prayer and just kindness and love. Obviously practice isn't going to be "soft" but i think people can see the difference in styles and more than that- i think success will show that you don't have to be a "bully" to win. More than that- i think players can tell (i didn't play football but basketball and tennis in high school) -- players can tell when coaches genuinely care about them- even more than winning a game.

Be yourself, submit to authority out of your fear of the Lord, have people praying with you-- and pray for opportunities to share Christ with those who ask you for a reason of the hope that is within you.

Hope that helps. Kindly,

Nickster

Answer 4

I would take him aside and talk to him. That really doesn't sound good for you or the kids at all. Also, if there's anyone that's higher up on the coach chain than the two of you, you might also want to talk to them. A person like that has no place antagonizing kids that are just trying to have a good time.

Answer 5

You need to take your concerns to the school administration.. The players have signed up to play on a team not be verbally abused which is exactly what this coach is doing.. It is your responsibility to take your concerns to the proper administration in order to protect the players from this abuse..

Religion does not come ito play in this situation it is clearly a case of verbal abuse..

Answer 6

I concur with diane. Take your case to the administrative section of the school and complain of "verbal Abuse". It is a clear cut case. Your religion cannot and will not enter into it. The other coach is guilty of verbal agression and abuse. Do something about it.

Answer 7

Many paths can be taken for this journey. The typical WW JD seems best. Then their is the mental part, act tough around him when around the kids to give him a sense of understanding, but be nice to the kids behind his back to gain more popularity points amongst the children. Or you could rat him out and make the evening news. But the choice is yours..

Answer 8

You won't change any of those people. Competitive people are notoriously proud and vain. All you can hope to do is be a Christains example. And if it comes down to a choice between that job and your salvation, then you simply must quit.

Answer 9

Just keep plugging... With a little time, the kids will likely see the positive difference and seek you out on and off the field instead of the person who always puts them down.