Why should women change their last name?

Question

And if they don't....the kids will still get the father's name....why is that? And when men want to change their last name to the woman's it's seen as such degredation to them....it was in the news a couple of months ago...the San Diego man who couldn't change the last name to his wifes....strange

Tradition and honor are the answers I'm getting most....why wouldn't it be an honor for a man to take on a woman's name.....don't you believe that this 'tradition' is just a tad bit unfair?

PS. I have my mom's last name, as does my brother. My father kept his last name....

Answer 1

If I had it to do over again I'd have kept my name. I've thought about changing it back, but then it came to me that I'd be taking another assumed name: my Dad's (rather than my Mom's.) So I'm just changing one assumed (man's) name for another --- when what I really would like is my own name.

I have thought about choosing a totally new name that is really mine. But my husband doesn't like that idea --- I think it would be neat even if we chose a new name together.

I think it's so funny how guys don't understand why women may want to keep their names, but if you ask them to change their name the response is NO. Why should women feel any differently about the signal of their identity?

As an earlier poster pointed out, it's just a bunch of bull.

Answer 2

A lot of women still take their husband's last name because it's expected of them. Some do so because they say it's an honor to, even though they're giving into tradition and don't realize it (because saying/receiving vows is already an honor, right?). People are afraid to buck the system and look different. Whatever. I also think that since our society still places men in authority positions over women (yes, it's very subtle), men would be mortified at the idea of changing THEIR name to that of their wives. Think about it. Changing the name you've had your whole life is big deal; it's like throwing away a piece of you that some people will never know about. But since women historically submit to men, we continue to do it, in the form of name changing traditions, and men would NEVER "bow" down to such a thing, unless they want to look submissive. So much bullcrap.

Answer 3

It's just a tradition, nothing to get your knickers in a twist about. For years, professional women have retained their maiden names in their business. Some (probably most) use their husband's names at home and with their neighbors and family.

I am proud to use my husband's name, but I won't put down someone who chooses to retain her father's name.

Speaking of which, if you don't want the father's name on the birth certificate, tell them he's unknown and the child will get your name.

Edit:
I'll bet the Social Security folks would be very happy if people retained their same names from birth to death. My daughter has been married five times and changed her name each time and reverted back to her maiden name after each divorce.

Answer 4

Do you keep any Judeo-Christian traditions? This is simply one of them to pass down the father's name. Not a Salvation issue. Anyone can have their name changed if they aren't doing it for illegal reasons. The man in SD could have filed for a simple name change through the court IF he was illegible. He probably was guilty of crimes or something which may have prevented him from doing so.

Taking the wife's name would imply to this American culture, and many others, that the wife was definitely in charge of the household and had him hen-pecked royally. This probably would be true, so he should change his name and keep her happy, of course. Finally, someday he will be asked to present his testicles to her on a silver platter, which also he will certainly need to do. And psychologically this is a wonderful way to rear male children. Our society is safe for sure.

Answer 5

These days people can have it any way they want, it seems to me. I have a friend who the husband took the wife's name (they never liked his last name). I have another where both partners changed their names to a hyphenated version of both last names. I have another friend who changed her name to a hyphenation of her name and her husbands and that's the name the child shares - the husband is the only one who has his given last name. I kept my maiden name and my kids share my husband's name.

People are less bound by tradition these days and often times people who marry later in life have already established a name for themselves, making a change a bad business decision.

If you believe in numerology, you might say that women change their name because it is they who change in a marriage, most often. The man maintains his career and his name - she changes her name and very often has changes in her career, particularly when it's time for children. It also incorporates her into the man's family, encouraging her to adapt to the ways of a new family - as has been traditional for centuries, really.

I have found in this world there is always a way to do just exactly what we want to, ultimately.

Peace!

Answer 6

I've always liked it when the husband and wife retain names and the kids get hyphenated last names from both parents. I'd think that would get confusing a couple of generations down the road however...

Answer 7

Though this tradition have been accepted by almost all nation, it originated from the pagan and ancient civilizations belief that women are just second class citizen or even propoerties of the men.

Answer 8

My mom didn't, which is great, but they gave me a hyphenated last name which is five syllables long. I don't like that much. So, *if* I ever get married, I might take my husband's name just to get away from my extra-long one. Depending on whether I like his name or not.

Answer 9

i think it should be based on personal preference. did you know that if a man chooses to take his wife's name that he has to pay usually? in this day and age, it's really not fair.

Answer 10

It's to help avoid confusion-but I don't see any reason it couldn't be the woman's last name.