Is this good advice?

Question

There is an unabashed sense of entitlement that runs rampant throughout our society today and nowhere is this tendency more poignantly illustrated than in the women for men personals. Candidly, I refer to them as ‘The Comics’ and they have been a never-ending source of amusement for me. For years I have perused these ads, gleefully sharing snippets and laughter with friends and family. For all the joy, laughter and escape they have provided me with over the years, I’ve decided to give a little back in the way of advice for you women for men personal ad writers.

1. You are NOT a princess, queen or a goddess. Really. I know you say that you want a relationship between equals but how can I possible be on equal terms with royalty or deities? For what it’s worth, princesses were often forced into relationships against their will, for the good of someone other than themselves.
2. Claiming intelligence is not intelligent; intelligence is relative. Telling me that your friends

think that you’re intelligent doesn’t actually tell me anything unless I know your friends. For instance, if your friends are members of the Special Olympic Debate Team, they can think you’re pretty smart and you can still be a moron. On the other hand, if your friends are Steven Hawkins and Marilyn vos Savant, then that’s a pretty good indication of some high quality gray matter.
3. If you are going to insist on telling us that you are intelligent in spite of the above explanation, be sure to spell entelijent correctly.
4. “Tired of little boys, looking for a man. Must be under 25 years old.” ‘Nuff said.
5. “Are you man enough to handle me?” In a word, “No” In what Universe do you think challenging my manhood before we’ve even met is a recipe for a successful long-term relationship?
6. If you are looking for a man who makes over $100,000/yr and has a college degree but you only make $25,000 a year and your education does not exceed a high school diploma, not only am I not

interested in you… but do you realize that even you wouldn’t date yourself?
7. I am not afraid of strong independent women. I am put off by rude, pushy, obnoxious people, who defend their selfishness by claiming strong and independent status. Here’s a tip: True strength doesn’t need self-promotion.
8. Right after you give the laundry list of characteristics the lucky gentleman is supposed to possess: loyal, trustworthy, good listener, good provider, must like kids and animals, artist, likes housework, romantic, etc., don’t forget to tell him what you plan on bringing to the table. Or was your silence on the matter meaningful?
9. You like Monday night football, working on restoring that old ’67 Shelby in your garage, drinking beer and then writing your name in the snow – really, you can do it… watch… I’ve got guy friends, thanks; I was looking for a girlfriend.
10. “My kids come first.” Really? You thought this was necessary to point out? Either you think of this as

something optional, in which case I don’t want to talk to you – or you are looking for a guy that needs to hear this, in which case you don’t want to talk to me.

KK - Tell you what sweetie, I've got the best girl in the whole world and wouldn't trade her for nothing or nobody... she's my girl and that description fills her with joy. I live my life trying to be the man she believes me to be.

But sure, let me give you a little bit of me. I'm 42 yo with degrees in mathematics and physics, professional poker player, columnist and author who, in the last two years have produced an infomercial and a documentary and if you have a boyfriend, he very well may have spent a fair amount of time watching me on ESPN at night. I'm certainly not inexperienced and bitter gives way to love pretty easily. That doesn't mean I am not still tickled to pieces by things such as proclamations of royalty and anti-logic and the occasional mental masturbation one finds here.

I wish you as much happiness in life as I, more if you can stand it.

chickyboo: Seriously, I have read thousands on mens ads and tens of thousands of womens ads to make contrasts and what I have found is that men typically tell what they bring to the table while women typically have a list of what the man must bring to the table. It's actually a very interesting and telling phenomena.

waswisgirl1: I am so happy for you that you found your sweetie!

Answer 1

Brilliant rant!

terrible question.

I still love it though, and dare I say, I love you for posting it.

Answer 2

I use to read men's online ads all the time, and responded to some of them, and had my own online ad. I'm 49, so this was a couple of years ago, and the men's ads in Yahoo were so pretentious. I can't imagine how bad the women's ads were. Your advice would be well taken in Yahoo, at least a couple of years ago. I found a couple of sites that were more low-key, and there the men's ads were usually sweet, but boring. If I recall correctly, the men said the same thing about the women's ads. I ignored the sex-crazed ads of course.

I'm glad you can find them funny, I found many of the ads very sad, there are so many desperately lonely people. I was nice but firm since many people couldn't write more than a sentence. I told them we weren't going to have anything to talk about, if they didn't have anything to write about! I did meet my sweetie, he wrote reams and reams!

Answer 3

There was an observational study recently released that is consistent with your comments.

A group of men and women were asked to list the attributes of the person they would like to date. Then they did a version of speed dating, going from person to person asking questions and just talking for a few minutes.

The men and women were asked to list their preferred dates. The men chose the babes in the group, and threw thei lists away. The women's choices were more in line with their lists of traits.

So, women care more about the character of their prospective dates. That could be a reason they are specific as to the type of man they would be interested in in their ads.

This, of course, doesn't address directly their need to describe themselves, except insofar that they may be assuming men are as interested in the women's traits as women are in the men's traits.

Interesting question.

Answer 4

1. I'm well aware of that, and I don't want to be anything of the sort.

2. There is a home video of me reading words such as "dictionary" and "sunflower" at the age of 2. I read at a ninth-grade level in fourth grade. I had the opportunity to skip that grade, but family issues prevented it. (Don't ask.) I've never had a formal intelligence test, but I'm going to. And, yes, everyone thinks of me as the intelligent one.

3. See above.

4. So the under-25 set is composed of little boys?

5. It wouldn't matter how manly you were — you can't handle me.

6. I'm in my first year of university and currently unemployed. My ideal man is also unemployed, for he does not exist.

7. I'm only rude, pushy, and obnoxious to other rude, pushy, and obnoxious people.

8. See #6.

9. So you like girly-girls. Big deal.

10. Only Dr. Laura would say that a husband/boyfriend should come before the kids.

Answer 5

Whoa, dude. I thought the comics were supposed to be funny. What was that rant all about? Is there a question, or...? If so, my answer is, don't read the personals. I dare say most intelligent people already know they're a joke, so no need to spell it out.

Answer 6

Well, you are not gonna like this but you sound acerbic, harsh, judgemental, narrow, inexperienced and unattached. I realise that you are an expert on these pages as you have over a thousand points and I haven't taken the time to research some of your other points of view, but off the top, no-not looking like good advise. I could form a truly lengthy rebuttal but me thinks thou art bitter and none such would change that. Go ahead, come back with smarty retort. I am sure that you have an arsenal!

Answer 7

Straight female seeks same for polyamorous relationship with my long term boyfriend. We offer finacial stability and exciting weekends at the dirttrack and dragstrips in the area, plus the annual race at Darlington. We're in our early 50's, so would prefer not to meet someone younger than our children.
I'm short skinny and flat chested, and he's overweight, but affectionate. Race immaterial.

Answer 8

Hehe yeah it is quite funny. Iv tried one of those online dating thing and you have to write a shplerb about yourself. I was very honest and even quite blunt and yet I still had guys contacting me. I thought it would scare them off. I guess if a guy is serious about finding a girl he also wants a serious "advert".

What would you recommed guys should say in their ads? Maybe have a contrast so we can all laugh :-D

Answer 9

1

Answer 10

what kind of girls have u met? you're advices sure make a lot of sense but the thing about intelligence doesn't. i mean u could b smart n have interests other than studying and have stupid Friends and still be intelligent

Answer 11

Good advice, I guess.
I have never taken out a personal ad but if I ever have to I will keep these in mind.