Here's the deal. I proposed to my girlfriend about a year ago. I told her we had to wait to set a date until I found employment...Meanwhile not long after I proposed she started changing. Setting down the ground rules and showing her true self. I told her to start treating me like she used to. She says that she will when I set a date. We are at a standstill now. What direction should I take?
2007-09-06 18:37:27 · 14 answers · asked by rudedude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Have you ever heard of the Tom Lykis show? It's on the radio and you need to listen to it. You are on the verge of getting trapped in a miserable marriage. Is that what you want? Women who pressure men to marry them are insecure and dangerous! Stop trying to rush into marriage and go live your life. When the right one comes along you will know for sure and you will not have to ask strangers on the internet what you should do. Get what I'm saying?
2007-09-06 21:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest setting a date and seeing how things change. If she does return to the person you once knew, then everything is great. If she doesn't change, then that should tell you something as well. While I understand your situation, you should try to see it from her point of view -- being engaged to someone for a year without setting a date has got to be more than a little frustrating.
However, if you honestly believe that she's showing her "true" self and you don't like what you see, you may want to reconsider your proposal.
2007-09-07 01:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by That one guy. 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell her either your way or the highway!!! How are you going to get married when you are not working? If she really loves you she won't be in such a hurry to get married, unless she is old. Then she will be racing against the clock of time for children. Good luck, I hate it when people are pushy. If she really loves you she will wait untill the right time. I waited 71/2 years to be proposed to and had a 11/2 year engagement. Don't rush, If you are going to be together for ever, then what is the hurry? Take your time and make it worth it....
2007-09-07 05:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by Christy RN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She'll treat you nicely when you set a date? Way to emotionally blackmail.
She's setting "ground rules"? She's your fiance, not your mom. Sheesh. Shut that down NOW, or you're asking for a living hell when you marry.
Here's what I wish you'd do.
1. Get employment, ASAP.
2. Tell her you've gotten employment, and you've decided on a date.
3. Tell her that the date is "never."
4. Using your new paycheck, get one lapdance.
2007-09-07 06:40:01 · answer #4 · answered by Bill 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Reading between the lines I see "She is acting like this is a long term working relationship instead of carefree, all fun and games dating." That is, she is treating you more like a husband (shared responsibilities, establishing ground rules for harmonious living together) and less like boyfriend (the escape from responsibility and day to day routine). If you don't settle things like a mutually agreed upon budgeting style or standards of household behavior now, then when? Marriage is more about being work-mates than being play-mates. If you don't want to shift from dating mode to married mode, now is the time to call it quits.
2007-09-07 11:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a minute! You told her you would set a date when you got employed and the proposal was A YEAR AGO. Apparently a year has gone by and you still AREN'T employed and so you still won't set a date. After a year she has every right to expect you to be employed and to set a date and begin planning for it!
2007-09-07 09:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by msbettyboop40 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when two people in a relationship start telling each other how treat each other, that's where it all starts.... a cycle of discontent and arguments....
take time on this "standstill".... some space... maybe you're both just stressed with the wedding plans... etc.... take time to breathe..
2007-09-07 01:51:13 · answer #7 · answered by terra 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd take the ring back and leave if she wants to make ultimatums like that.
You asked her to wait until you found employment, which is the smartest thing to do.
Imagine what she'd be like MARRIED to you.
2007-09-07 11:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump this controlling, spiteful, manipulative B*i*t*c*h or you are going to live a miserable life. You sound like a good guy, take a pass on this one and find some one worthy of you.
2007-09-07 02:05:43 · answer #9 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She gave you a very clear ultimatum. Ultimatums are not a healthy way to have a relationship, so I suggest you just break up with her. These are her true colors, frankly there are ugly.
2007-09-07 01:51:24 · answer #10 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋