How can I prevent myself from obsessively thinking about my ex?

Question

We’ve been broken up for 1 month now and I think I’ve gone through most of the grieving process. It hurts now and then when I think of him but the problem is that I think about him ALL THE TIME. I sometimes dread falling asleep because now and again I'll dream about him and the dreams just set me back another day in my "breakup" recovery. What should I do? I just want to get past this person. It’s like I’m holding on to every little thing in my mind just so he won’t fade away. He was a terrible person (like beyond terrible) and I will never, ever, in a million years get back with this loser…so why can’t I feel that reality? Why can’t I feel what’s right for me? Why can't I let go?

Ok, problem... I'm a 1 year recovered bulimic with panic disorder, depression, and co-dependency issues. I promised myself and my therapist that I wouldn't date anyone for a while, or at least until I've walked a long way on the path of self discovery. So dating other men is not an option for me right now. And to answer your question Dosayhd f, I do kinda sorta look at his myspace page every day. I can't help it, it's like I don't have control when I'm doing it. He has also taken this whole month to return my things, I’ve been asking for them since the day we broke up. He finally today dropped off my stuff

Answer 1

what u need to do is forgive him first cause it will help[ and then you need to surround yourself with friends and family do alot of stuff that will keep your brain busy like puzzles word games exercising walking and if your ready start talking to guys again it really helps and if you have to burn poop on his front porch in a brown paper bag ( compliments of billy madison the movie ) lol

Answer 2

I know everyone will say find another guy
but right now you need a method to stop what is going on in your mind

sit down with pencil and paper and write down all the stuff you want in the next 18 months
word it as if you already have it
for instance

I love my new drapes in the living room
Now that I have lost/gained 10 pounds I love the stuff that I can wear again
etc

but not yet stuff about a new guy
make the list about 12 to 20 items and memorize it

then whenever your mind goes to the past -and you realize it is happening again- immediatly take 1 or 2 or 3 of your items and say them softly to yourself over and over and over concentrating on what you are saying

all this is doing is changing the habit of focus in your mind
and if you do a Google search on 'Law of Attraction' you will see that you will be helping your future also

Answer 3

That one answer was right on.. why do those thoughts keep coming back????
It is apparent there were some very unhappy and emotional turmoils involved here. When one stops and thinks, those irate emotions have been stored in your memory banks. The become triggers to stimulate you to react. The highly intense emotions are bringing up all the negatives that have been implanted within your mind.

You have 2 choices.. Either bear with them until they wear out or, learn how to eliminate those stored emotions. You surely don't want to keep them into your aging years.

Answer 4

Find another guy! Honestly, keep telling yourself he's a waste of your time. Start looking around all the gorgeous guys. And don't worry, the process takes about 2 months, so you're half way there. At least you have realised what you need to do.

Answer 5

Start dating again, or go out with friends. Get something else on your mind so that you dont have to think about him anymore. If it helps, get a daily planner, plan out your day so you can look at it, and only think about the next thing to do on the list. It helps me whenever i cant stop thinking about something.

Answer 6

It is time for you to go and find you someone else. I believe that everything happens for a reason. That being said, pick yourself up and carry on with your life. He wasn't the right one for you so you have to keep going until you do fine the right one.

Answer 7

When you find out, let me know, since I am on my 11th year. Hope you do better, though. My ex is a nice guy, he just listens to the wrong people.

Answer 8

well ur ex loser,,the only reason why u cant get over him is bcuz u guys used to spend time together and now that is over u'r not with him as much as u used to b or at all,,and u'r barely getting used to the idea!

Answer 9

throw away all items that remind you of him.
cards, roses etc.
any time you catch yourself thinking of him, you have to stop immediatly. Think of something else.
if a song comes on the radio that reminds you of him change it.

Eventually you will get over it, Time heals all.

Answer 10

I'll pray for you. It must be very tough. Sometimes reading Psalms in the Bible helps.