I go to work and tell myself I won't talk to her, but find myself chatting away. I don't know if she realizes I like her, but it's driving me crazy. Should I just stop talking to her or let her know how I feel? I feel bad becuase she's married, I can't stop my feelings though. I haven't acted on anything and probably won't because I respect marriage. Have you ever been in a situation like this? What did you do? I really think she flirts with me too.
2007-09-06 17:57:08 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are thinking about trying to take it further, you should really learn some self control, but there is not crime in finding someone attractive. If you like talking with her and the flirtations haven't gotten out of hand (ie touching, sexual banter, innappropriate conversation you wouldn't have with other co-workers) it's OK. Maybe you enjoy having a woman to talk to that isn't expecting anything from you. I know I have occationally found a sense of comfort with someone innocent flirting with someone who I know is completely off limits. I know, all these people said that liking a married woman is wrong and that she's a floozy for fliritng back, but I just don't really agree. I do think, there are limits. I think some of the answers that said she's probably looking for attention, thats probably true. You probably watch her go home about the guy at work who is pumping her up. You're going to get hurt though, if you are telling yourself you have a chance. I know there are a few women who would cheat or leave thier spouce, but the chances are slim to none. Best bet, admire from afar. Be nice to her. Enjoy the friendship. Be aware of how close you allow yourself to get. Talk with her about her husband. Ask her how long they have been married, about her kids(?), etc. Maybe it will show you a married side to her and by talking about her husband, it'll bring you to reality...quickly. Good luck.
2007-09-07 00:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Go ahead, flirt! It's not a sin to be attracted to someone just because they are married. When you're married a long time, you tend to forget that you are still a viable, attractive person; when someone flirts with you, it makes you feel good. I'm married and I am very attracted to a married man--we flirt with each other all the time. (And yes, my husband knows!) But that's it. Whenever we run into each other, we both walk away with a smile and little bit of renewed confidence. So what? As long as you respect your limitations, I don't see an issue. Just accept the situation for what it is and don't get caught up in some fantasy about it.
2007-09-06 18:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by susann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop it now! Don't be a reason for anyone to leave their spouse or even cheat on their spouse! If you was married and your wife went to work and she either cheated on you or perhaps even left you for some other man, how would you feel! I know feelings are real but also there is true responsibility for our actions! Try to also think about it in a "hindsight" point of view. Let's say 1 year from now and you looking back on your past decisions, what should you have done differently?
2007-09-06 18:02:48 · answer #3 · answered by James H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I ask, at the outset, if you are married yourself? If not, do you have a girlfriend? If not, get one. A crush on a married woman is Iike an Internet romance--a substitute for the real thing.
"I go to work and tell myself I won't talk to her, but find myself chatting away."
IN OTHER WORDS, IT FLATTERS YOU THAT SOMEONE YOU PRESUMABLY FIND ATTRACTIVE WILL BOTHER WITH YOU.
"I don't know if she realizes I like her, but it's driving me crazy."
SMART MONEY SAYS SHE DOESN'T KNOW--OTHERWISE SHE WOULD BLOW YOU OFF OR COMPLAIN TO THE BOSS.
"Should I just stop talking to her?"
YES
"or let her know how I feel?"
NO.
"I feel bad becuase she's married"
THAT'S A GOOD START."
"I can't stop my feelings though."
BUT YOU CAN STOP HOW YOU REACT TO YOUR FEELINGS
I haven't acted on anything and probably won't because I respect marriage.
THEN WHY ARE YOU ASKING THE QUESTION, IF YOU RESPECT MARRIAGE?
Have you ever been in a situation like this?
YES
What did you do?
NOTHING
I really think she flirts with me too.
EITHER SHE ENJOYS THE ATTENTION BUT DOES NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, OR SHE IS GETTING READY TO GET OUT OF HER MARRIAGE--IT WHICH CASE IT WOULD BE MOST UNWISE TO DATE HER RIGHT AWAY. WAIT A YEAR OR SO.
I DO NOT MEAN TO SOUND ANGRY, BUT TYPING IN UPPER CASE IS THE ONLY WAY TO DIFFERENTIATE MY COMMENTS FROM YOURS.
2007-09-06 18:10:04 · answer #4 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only is an office relationship a bad idea, but an office relationship with a married person is a worse one. the aftermath of these relationships can cause people to lose their jobs, become less efficient in their posititon, lose the respect of their coworkers and supervisors, and cause general tension in the workplace. Just be her friend and forget that you ever found yourself attracted to her if you know what is good for you. I can't even tell you how many times over the years, I have seen these relationships explode, and ruin people's lives. Be smart and avoid the problem!!
2007-09-06 18:04:58 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah man, I've been in your shoes more than once. I like to flirt and I like to be flirted with. It's real hard when it's a work enviroment, there's just to many opportunitys to make contact and pass by. I've done it and I've gotten them to cheat, I got one to leave her husband, it's ****** up. My advise is do some check'n to see where her marriage is at. If it's look'n shakey, just stand to the edge a bit. Make sure she leaves for her, if there is anyway it can be thought that you were the reason she left her husband, her children, and her prior life, your going to pay down the road. I don't know the hole sitiuation, but best advice is to walk the edges until something breaks. Don't be the one to break it. Only you know where your at, go with what you gotta do. If you have to have her, for whatever reasons, do it, but you are not going to like the end result, I'm experienced in messed up relationships, I know how bad it gets, how pissed soon to be X husband get, if you gotta do it, do it, but again, you are not going to like the end result. Garuantee that.
2007-09-06 18:28:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Back down is the best advise.
She is a married women and you are well aware of it..
It is so possible if you go and lay out your feelings to her, she could slap you with a sexual harassment claim and very possible win.
Be kind but don't go any further. There are other women out there and this physical attraction will pass soon enough.
Good Luck
2007-09-06 18:05:14 · answer #7 · answered by kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's married and therefore she's OFF LIMITS. It doesn't matter if you think she's flirting or not (some women and men have a natural tendency to flirt).
2007-09-06 18:06:16 · answer #8 · answered by A Curious Person 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have some respect and keep your feelings to yourself. If you were married you wouldn't want anyone liking your wife like that, would you?
2007-09-06 18:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think she is flirting with you, that's a male mind thinking that married women will stray. Do not tell her how you feel, she will not respect a man that knows she's married but feels the need to voice his love.
Believe me, nothing irritates me more than men, that know I'm married but think either A. I will cheat on my husband, or B them telling me how they feel about me will affect them in a positive way.
I end up never speaking to them again.
so if that's what you want then go for it, but be prepared to get blown off.
2007-09-06 18:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋