My boyfriend and I get along really well most of the time, but here and there we seem to get on one another's nerves. However, rather than being able to rectify it in the moment, we tend to get super emotional and unable to communicate. Tonight we had a major meltdown, and when I finally got him to speak to me, he told me that I seem to direct my anger towards him more and more frequently. I do get frustrated and angry with work and life, however if I pull away and seek my own space apart he takes offense. He likes to take on my problems and try and solve them, only to create more stress. I ask him to let me handle my own problems, that I'll willingly take his advice but allow me to work it out myself. What ends up happening is we talk/share everything to the point I get down to my frustrations and I don't know what to do with them. I am so lost, I don't have anyone with experience that I can discuss this with. Any input is grand.
2007-09-06 17:39:13 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I first recommend first thinking to yourself why you feel your communication needs to improve; then think about how you feel your boyfriends communication could improve then sit down and talk to him in a fashion where there is no anger or hostile attitudes; just honesty and concern. Some people actually don't communicate rationally to their self so when they communicate with others it is often in irrational ways as well.
2007-09-06 17:50:02 · answer #1 · answered by James H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men aren't wired to be emotional, and they have a hard time dealing with the emotions of others. There isn't anything that will ever change this. It's nothing personal against you. It sounds like you're lonely for someone to talk to, and you need some help getting your frustrations out. This is what girlfriends are good at doing. They will listen to you, make you laugh, and make you feel like you're normal. I think your emotions are overwhelming for your boyfriend, which is typical of men, so give him a break and hang out with the girls more and develop closer bonds with them. It's not fair to expect your boyfriend to be everything to you, and he sounds like a great guy and like he's trying, but your relationship will improve if you start cultivating good women friends.
2007-09-07 00:51:01 · answer #2 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been through that... I get tired i get problems and i take out on my boyfriend (now ex)... many times i felt i needed space i asked him and he took offense... then two weeks ago he left me for another girl....
I believe that everybody have issues.... and I know I have an issue... even if i love him it's much better this way than go on with the relationship than knowing ill hurt him more.... We got to fix ourselves first...
2007-09-07 00:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by terra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The big difference between men and women is that women like to express their problems ... get it out, rant and spew.
Men hear this and want to solve the problem, they don't realize that she is mostly venting.
He has got to give you space - I hope he's not that insecure.
Mostly men want to talk about football.
2007-09-07 01:32:07 · answer #4 · answered by wrathofkublakhan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋