Should I be angy that guys like me since I am slimmer?

Question

I still have a long way to go (lost 40, 50 more to go)

But I have noticed that more guys are interested in
me. Should I be angry? I feel like this is such a front.

I have not changed personality wise, I am equally as
outgoing and as nice. But now they are starting
to show me more attention.

SHOULD I BE MAD? I FEEL VERY WRONGED BY
THIS SOMEHOW?

Answer 1

I don't think that you should be upset. Yes, it's feels a little shallow and superficial. But don't think about that. You aren't losing weight to attract men, you are obviously losing it to be healthier and feel better. The result of being healthier is that you look better, and are probably more active than you were. Men like that. So don't be mad, take it as a compliment that you are doing a fabulous job. You'll be able to weed out the men who are after you for your looks, don't worry. Congratulations on the weight loss, and I wish you well with the rest!

Answer 2

I know exactly what you are talking about. I was heavy most of my life and never really got attention from anyone. (Men or women). I lost a lot of weight a few years back and peoples attitude towards me changed. Everyone was so much nicer. Strangers and people I worked with. When I was heavier, some people wouldn't even look at me in the eye when I passed them down the hall. When I lost the weight, those same people were nicer and the men flirted.

It's a sad part of life, but it happens. I wouldn't be mad. Embrace the new you. You worked hard. Enjoy yourself and the new attention you are receiving.

Don't spend your time feeling wronged or mad. Be happy for the new healthier you.

Answer 3

Technically, I can understand where you're coming from with your 'anger'. You feel that you're still the same wonderful person you were when you were heavier and that a guy should love you for "you", not just your looks and how much you weigh.....and you're absolutely right. However, don't let this anger consume you. You're slimming down for YOU so you'll feel better and will be healthier and that is FANTASTIC!! Keep on track. Think of this newfound attention from males as an 'unexpected added bonus" instead of as something negative. Guys are really not all that different than girls. They have personal "preferences" to...we ALL do! Seeing it this way makes it easier to let that anger subside.

Answer 4

Don't feel mad. You are just wasting your time. Guys in general are jerks and go for looks before anything else-there was something on the news about it a couple days ago where a survey of men proved this. Just relish the attention and ignore them like they ignored you. They minds are programed to breed and thats it.

When I was in high school I NEVER had a boyfriend because I wasn't one of the 'pretty popular' girls even though I was skinny. I just didn't dress trashy or spend 3 hours getting ready every morning. Now that we are all in college, I still dress, do makeup, and do my hair the same. But I think guys are more mature now and realizing the trashy dressing girls were just that-trashy. Now I- the smart, natural, mature looking female- have become the pretty popular one and it made me sick knowing they thought they had a chance with me after I was treated like crap throughout high school.

Lucky for me I met a great guy after I graduated that is still a jerk nonetheless, but I love him still:)

Answer 5

No!

I lost a lot of weight myself and I know this to be a fact.

Losing weight didn't make me more outgoing or nice it made me more confident. People in my life say that my whole demeanor is more confident and that is what attracted most men to us. Besides the fact that most people look better without a ton of extra weight.

You are changing with every 10-15 pounds that you are losing and that is O.K. What you are doing by losing a lot of weight and being successful is building character, learning a lot about yourself and letting that thin girl come out in the world.

Enjoy the attention, don't resent it.

Answer 6

Look, you and I and everyone else in the real world know that the images that are shown to all of us that what is beautiful is youth, beauty and yes, slim people...so, we aren't really surprised by this are we? I mean, this had to be part of your motive to loose weight, by some of your past questions, I know it is. So, be grateful that this has motivated you but not that it is the only reason. You are healthier, can move easier, less strain on your heart, and joints and I'm sure you can walk farther without being out of breath, right? So, dwell on these positive things and remember that negativity only returns negativity to you. The law of do unto others, does work. so, as it will work negatively on you so will it on those that are nice to you just because you lost weight...it's not nice but it's their own negativity, not yours. You have to use your head, no matter if you are thin or not. How do you think beautiful girls with beautiful bodies really know if they are liked for who they are or just because of their looks?They really don't either do they? So, like everyone should be doing, you need to spend time getting to know someone and not jump into relationships because being thin will not make it work. There has to be substance in the relationship that only time can create and if time isn't given to it then it will fail anyhow. You have to know that their motives are pure as far as being a partner or even just a friend. And don't leave your old friends behind or treat anyone with disrespect...we all deserve that! We move too fast in and out of relationships and a lot of hurt and heartaches are experienced by young women and men, way before they are mature enough to handle it. At the age you are now, guys have one thing on their minds, very few don't have a motive, if they are truthful. So, you hold the bag and you make the decisions on when to allow someone to have the part of you that is yours and is sacred. It should not be taken lightly, not thrown away. Now, saying that, You must know that we all get hurt, at some point we are in a relationship and it doesn't work out for whatever reason...it is hurtful but we grow from that and learn about relationships and love by those experiences. So, just be really wise, use your brain and don't jump right into something without knowing the person, their past, their family and how they treat their moms and other members of their family and friends and especially other women they have known. This can really tell you a lot about how they respect or don't respect others.
Also, spend lots of time out in public and don't put yourself in a position that you feel pushed or pressured into something. You can always say NO, but when you are alone in a secluded place where there is no one to hear you...it may not work and it may be hard to do. Just take my advice and be careful. A lot of young women feel pressured and just go along because they are afraid to say no. Don't let this be you. Use the brain God gave you. Congrats for loosing weight for your health....don't over do it....be healthy and in shape, not skinny and sick. Ok? Love coming your way. Please get out there and spend time making friends, girl and boy friends and enjoy being young, never mind relationships right now, that will come in time and it will be natural not pushed or forced. Don't be the ego booster of any man, be a very choosy young woman, not to be taken advantage of or used, but respected and desired for your mind as well as your body and spirit. Bless you.

Answer 7

I understand how you feel... its unfortunate that our society
views heavier people as less attractive. In some other cultures they view heavier women as more attractive then the skinny women. If i were you i wouldn't feel mad about it... just enjoy the attention.. even though it seems wrong that people treat you different now ....when you have been the same person all along. Congrats on your weight loss.. just be happy that your doing this for yourself .. you will live a happier and healthier life because of it...

Answer 8

I understand where you're coming from. When I was really fat no one wanted to date me, and then as soon as I lost 30 pounds, those same guys who ignored me were interested in me. I was mad because I was the same person with or without those 30 pounds.

Unfortunately, our society teaches boys and men that thin women are the only ones that matter. Instead of being mad, be picky about who you date, since you deserve someone wonderful, and always be compassionate of people who are overweight because you know what they're going through.

Answer 9

No, don't be angry. Celebrate the new you and new beginnings. It is not there fault, it's the guys preference to be with a thinner woman with a nice frame. You cannot get upset with them for having a preference in a certain women, this is normal. I like husky men and I am considered thick. Thick is not every ones preference.

Cheer up and go celebrate girl. Congrats on your successful weight loss and have safe fun now.

Answer 10

Well, I suppose you can be "angry." I mean, I got to the point where I just became hot all of a sudden in my life after looking like "Ugly Betty", the black version, and then guys began noticing me. At first, I adored the new attention, but then, I began to realize, like you, that they never gave me the time of day when I wasn't so attractive to them. I learned that men are very visual creatures, yes, creatures (I don't have time to expound on that one right now), and many of them just can't get past the initial visual. Most of them, I really don't think they're aware and if they are aware, I really don't think they can help it. I believe they're hard-wired this way.