3 year olds acting out in preschool?

Question

I am a preschool teacher and I am at my wits end with two children. They are both 3 yr old girls and clearly know no discipline at home. They are defient and disruptive and constantly say no. I have talked to the parents and each one blames it on someone or something else. One family is divorced and mom blames it on dad and one blames it on the child having a younger sibling. Both might be true but the bottom line is my class is falling apart. What can I say to these parents to make them listen?

Answer 1

Apparently the parent(s) have no problem with their child behaving that way at home, so it's up to you to manage the behavior in the classroom. You need to have clear and consistent rules and consequences, and the consequences need to be logical consequences that suit the behavior. For example, if she won't clean up in the housekeeping area today, tomorrow she will not be able to play in that area, she'll have to choose something else. If tomorrow she won't clean up that area either, maybe the next day she will need to just play at the table with a just a few table top toys. If the problem is she won't sit down and join us for story time, give her a choice: You can sit here in the circle with us, or you can sit over there at the table (no toys). Do you have an assistant or aide? Tell your helper that you will offer this choice. If the child doesn't choose, you choose for her, quickly, and don't back down: "I'm sorry, maybe tomorrow you will choose to sit quietly and listen." Let her cry, don't discuss it with her, and don't be mean about it. It's a simple choice, and she will learn very quickly that the choices you offer her have consequences. You will be teaching her to make logical and appropriate choices. Then you can reward her with a smile: I'm so glad you are choosing to sit quietly and join us for story time today. Also, make sure that your daily schedule is clear and consistent. Post the schedule in a rebus style and review it frequently with the kids: Let's see what comes next...oh I see, we just cleaned up the room, so now it's story time!

I'm sure you know all this stuff, if you are experienced! Just think it through. Again. We all have those two kids, every year. Only the names and faces change! Feel free to email me for more classroom management ideas if you wish. Good luck!

Answer 2

Here's one idea: Your preschool sucks. There's no reason for a 3 year old to be in preschool besides parental convenience. No studies anywhere conclusively indicate that an early start in formalized education will in any way change the outcome of future education. Either take him out, or change schools. One father recently went viral on youtube because he wired his autistic son, sent him to school, and recorded 6 hours of abuse, cruelty, and inappropriate conversation on the part of the teachers and aides- none of which the low-functioning children in the class could report to their parents. Your son is high functioning, but he's still three. There's no way he has the language skills to give you his own side of the story. Send him to school with a recording device, and see what you can learn for yourself. Don't take the teacher's word for it. Also, make sure the classroom is welcoming to parents. Go in there and observe for a day. See if you can witness your son's behavior for yourself. If they won't let you do that, there's something wrong. Every preschool should have an open-door policy for parents.

Answer 3

You should be more family centered and realize that often children who act out are doing so as a result of an inappropriate school environment- perhaps developmentally you are asking too much from typically active 3 year olds and finding some environmental things to alter- like giving them more responsibility or allowing them an alternative activity during group time- or simply being consistent and saying "If you cannot keep your legs to yourself I will have to ask you to walk away" might resolve your problem. In the case of the child of divorce- there is probably a greater need for consistency. Perhaps another idea would be to ask mom or dad what they would like you to do- or simply ask them what their goals are for their child and try to see some common ground. Being family centered means suspending your biases and judgements about a family and being respectful of their decisions- even if they are different than the ones you might make in the same setting. Take a deep breath and remember why you are in that classroom. Not to lecture parents I'm sure. Think outside the box and I'm sure these children will provide a growth experience for you as well. Also consider the fact that one of these children may later be labeled with a disability and it would be best for all children in the class to understand that we all learn in different ways and that we are all different. Modifying the classroom is often more effective than medication (though not as comfortable to the teachers).

Answer 4

I work with a lot of disruptive and disrespectful children from broken homes and bad neighborhoods, the key is to get to them, reward the good behavior through out the class, and make a bigger deal about theirs when they do well, they will respond to positive feed back from you. When they don't follow the directions such as sitting at carpet time, place them once the way they are supposed to be at that time then go on like nothing is wrong, make comments about how happy it makes you to see, so and so sitting so nicely they will strive for the same compliments and start to try themselves, it will take some time and frustration but it will pay off and I have found the ones that give the most problems to start with end up being the favorites in the future!

Answer 5

I am not going to write some lengthy paragraph like everyone else did. I am a Preschool teacher as well, and I hear you loud and clear..they drive you nuts by the end of the day. Your situation sounds like it needs to be brought up to the director of your childcare center. You need to speak with your boss, because obviously these parents are not cooperating and their children are causing distress. A formal conference needs to get in order to work out a plan on dealing with these two.

Answer 6

I'd say you're going to have to take it into your own hands. Remember positive rienforcement. It takes longer, but in the end you will get results and you'll be teaching the kids a lot more than just letters and numbers. Some parents just aren't there for their kids. Don't beat yourself up about it or rack your brains trying to convince them. You are there for the kids wether they are or not. Whatever they do at home, they will mind in your classroom.

Answer 7

that very well could be a PART of why it is happening...but you are the teacher of that classroom...you need to have control....i did a placement with preschool children and they will listen...if the parents wont help then you need to start with the basics and get it to work...use whatever behaviour guidance techniques you think are developmentally appropriate for those two children and do what you have to do...
like you said its your class

Answer 8

What i think you should do is meet up with the parrents and talk about the certain problems you are having in your classroom, or you could even have them just simply sit in a corner and ask them if they are going to be mature and keep watching them and if they start to act up again just simply tell them i am going to call your parents.

Answer 9

wow wow, you are a qualified teached supposedly studied all the behaviour problems of childrens and you are asking what to do. you cant have bunch of adorable cute children. You are their teacher you have to teach them, surely the parents have the responsibility but they come from different backgrounds and every child behaves differently you cant choose the kids in your class. in the class YOU are the boss, kids have to do what you ask them to do.
by complaining you seems to be really incompetent as ateacher who cant control her class just because of two kids, and really a cry baby

Answer 10

nothing you are going to say is going to change the matter. parents in general (myself included) don't like it when other people tell them something bad about their child.
What you need to do is to teach the children to behave, even if only in your class.
The "naughty corner" is quite effective - as seen on supernanny..but make sure the kid knows why she's being put in there and be sure to explain why her behavior is wrong....
role-playing at this age may be very effective. you be the child doing the wrong/inappropriate behavior and she be the teacher and disciplines you about it...
try it and see if it works