Do Black People Self Harm?

Question

Please i do not need any body to sit and judge me, i just would like to hear if anybody has any suggestions. i'm 17 and am a high school senior. i used to self harm when i was 14 after loads of stressful things happened in my life. i was taken to a psych hospital for teens for a year and wasn't in school. i managed to get my self together and worked my butt off to not get left behind a year, and now i'm on point to graduate next year with the rest of my grade, so i'm super proud of myself. the only problem is i'm left with loads of nasty huge scars on my
arms that are so noticeable so i can't wear cute little tanks or whatever. And alot of my friends don't understand as self harm period is looked down upon by society but as an african american teenager we're just 'not meant to do that' so there's nobody i can really talk to about it. what do ya'll think i should do just cover up my arms for the rest of my life or is there any thing to heal the scars so they are not so noticeable.

Or any other suggestions even if it's not to do with healing the scars. Please nobody judge me, i'm just stuck and need a bit of help. Thanks in advance for everybody who has answered

Answer 1

If you feel the urge to injure yourself, below is a list of suggestions that might help you to overcome that urge. Please be advised that not all of these suggestions will be helpful to everyone. What is helpful to one person, may not be helpful to someone else. These suggestions have been provided by individuals who self injured and what they found helpful to them. If you feel that a certain suggestion may in fact cause you to want to self injure even more, do NOT use that suggestion. Find ones that are helpful for you. Again, these are only suggestions and may not be helpful to everyone.

deep breathing
relaxation techniques
call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line
try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.)
take a hot bath
listen to music
go for a walk
write in a journal
wear an elastic around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself
some people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves
hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment)
punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work).
scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.)
avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.)
try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions.
learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside
go outside and scream and yell
take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.)
work with paint, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain.
draw a picture of what or who is making you angry
instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect
go to church or your place of worship
wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure. One person did this as a way to remind herself that she could call someone instead of hurting herself and that she had other ways to cope.
break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it.
write a letter to the person(s) that have hurt you and express how they made you feel. Theses letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to please anyone but yourself. You do not have to give these letters to the people, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you are carrying within. After you write the letters, you can decide then what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, etc.)
do some household chores (i.e. cleaning)
do some cooking
try some sewing, crossstitch, etc.
recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple times
write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt
write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find out what your triggers were
Play some kind of musical instrument. Even if you don't really know how to play, picking out tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the urge to harm yourself.
yoga
allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Picture your "ickies" pouring out as you cry.
Take a shower
write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life.
sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside. Shout if you are made, etc. Let the words just come to you.
Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.)
Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect.
Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't. Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to be hurt.

Answer 2

Black Self Harm

Answer 3

*clapclapclapclapclap*

I'm proud on your behalf! Well done you!

Well, I've never known a black person who self-harms, but I don't know a lot of black people. There were about 5 in a school of about 800, so I can't really answer that part of your question!

With regards to your scars, I would recommend using cocoa butter or vitamin E cream, which will help them to fade whilst they still can. After a few years, the body stops making collagen to repair the scar, and then there's not much you can do. I have a cream called Palmers, which has cocoa butter and vitamin E in it, and it has made a difference to my scars, I use it every night before I go to bed. I live in the UK so you probably won't get the same thing, but I'm sure ther'll be something similar.

Another thing you can use is Bio-oil, you should be able to get it from a pharmacy. I haven't used it myself but it's meant to be really good. A lot more expensive than cocoa butter though.

Eventually though, the scars will fade, probably more than you think. I don't know what colour scars are on black skin, mine started red them browny-pink then brown then white. They're most noticable in really bright sunshine on my skin. I get some funny looks from people but you'll develop a thick skin. If they're on the inside of your arm people don't tend to notice them. And the people you really care about, friends and family, will get used to your arms and not care what kind of clothes you wear.

Answer 4

Hi there. I don't know if self harm really has anything to do with ethnicity at all- it has to do with what is going on in your life that pushes you to a point where you will do something like that. It doesn't matter if you are black, white or purple - the human mind can only take so much stress before it starts to do some not so great things.

I have self harmed at a very low point in my life, but have not been left with any physical scars. Try vitamin E, however - you can get creams that you rub directly onto scar tissue that can make it less noticeable. Or see a GP for some advice on this one - a doctor will not judge you, but may have some great ideas on how you could go about healing the scars to some extent.

Be proud of yourself, because what you have been through is infinitely difficult, and you have come through the other side and are on course with your life once more. That shows true strength. Well done.

Answer 5

People of all colours and races can and do self-harm, though whether or not they admit to doing it is a completely different thing.

Well done for doing so well at school despite missing a year and coping with being so ill.

Unfortunately people are misinformed and/or ignorant about self-harm, so ignore any answers that tell you that it is wrong or a bad thing to do. It isn't a great coping strategy, but for some it is the only way they know how to cope.

This link to the Mind website offers some easy to read and understand information, and more people shoud read it:

Understanding self-harm:

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

Although this is a UK mental health charity, the information should still be relevant to you.

You do whatever you feel most comfortable with, so if that is wearing clothes that cover your scars, then do that. But if you are not afraid to show them, and can cope with people looking and possibly asking about them, then that's OK to do as well.

Like me, you might find that what you wear depends on who you are with or where you are going. Friends who I trust have seen my scars, but I do tend to hide them in front of family. They should fade with time, though knowing they are there will always be with you. The key is understanding how they make you feel and then doing what is best for you.

Take care and enjoy graduation!

Answer 6

first of all you have every reason to be super proud of yourself for getting over the bad period in your life. Yes, all races self-harm - just some are more open about it than others so don't worry, your not unique and no-one has the right to 'look down on you' - just the opposite in fact. Many teenagers have problems coping and its sad that your friends don't understand but perhaps they have had it easy thus far? You have not BUT you have learnt to deal with problems and are a better, more understanding person for that. As to your scars you could consider cosmetic surgery but maybe you need to look at them with pride - they are a reminder of what you went through and how you survived and flourished. Good luck in all that you do.

Answer 7

Hi, well done on not self harming and for catching up on your schooling. I used to self harm as a teenager and am left with scars though I am now rapidly approaching 30! They do fade with time and mine are a lot better. You can either cover them with clothes or make-up or use something like Bio-oil or a cocoa butter based body creme to rub on the scars. All the best with your graduation!

Answer 8

I think you need to find an adult you can talk to. Maybe your school guidance counselor, a teacher, your parents, an aunt or uncle, any adult you feel like you can trust and who will take your problem seriously. Someone who knows you can help you decide how to deal with the questions others have.

As for the scars you could try rubbing vitamin E oil on them several times a day. Plus there is that cream you can get from a Doctor, I think it might be called Mederma. It helps fade scarring. Ask your parents to take you to the Doctor so you can talk to him/her about how to make the scars better or less noticable.

And good for you for all you have overcome, not everyone could have overcome cutting and gotten back on track at school. Don't let those scars set you back. Hold your head up high, you are a brave and strong young woman. Good luck to you. Stay strong.

Answer 9

People of all races self harm. It is most common in teens, but can occur in later years dependent on the type stressors. It just seem teens have control of such a small amount of their environment that their own body is the thing they feel the most control over and the area they choose to express their stress.

You have done well. As far as the scars, it seems that persons of African descent have the greatest trouble with keloid (heavy scarring). You may be able to work with a plastic surgeon to improve the scars. I don't know of many home treatments that are very effective once the scars have formed. It is possible to work with healing wounds to decrease the scarring, but once they are formed a specialist in skin conditions IE plastic surgeons or dermatologist would be the best choice for any efforts at improving formed scars.

Great work on confronting your condition and keeping up with school. Keep it up!

Answer 10

Hey sweetie, congrats on your recovery!!!

I'm a former cutter as well. My left forearm is covered in scars but I don't try to hide them. I actually forget that they're there. They have faded so much. Cocoa butter & vitamin E can help minimize the scarring, plus a doctor may be able to prescribe or recommend something else.

I will have to agree with you, I've never heard of a black person who self harms. I'm pretty sick of the cutting = emo = attention comparison as well.

You should be really proud of yourself.

Answer 11

Unfortunately my dear, this is not just limited to one class or colour or age group but is a very real and unpleasant symptom of severe emotional problems. Sweet no one has the right to judge you because those who try to are sicker in their own way than you have ever been. I am nearly 64 and have seen so much suffering and so many different causes that I sometimes despair, then along comes someone like you and my heart sings with joy again -why? Because while people can still do as you have done and are still doing then it is worth an oldie like me hanging in here as well. Be Proud of yourself and have a long and happy life - you really do deserve it!
love
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