Please revise my paragraph plz plz help plz change sentences and make them flow?

Question

I view this world very negatively, so if we did not accompany with Jesus all the time, we would lose what the main goal of our life is. For example, we can sin from hurting innocent people, stealing money from the rich, taking illegal drugs, having sex when you are underage, or not believing Jesus as our savior. I must read thoroughly the Bible for several times and meet Jesus personally in order to preach in the Middle-East or countries that do not believe in Jesus.
I never keep the things of the world and the things of God separate because if I didn’t know Jesus personally, then I could not call Jesus as my Lord and would not know Jesus by heart. Moreover, Jesus knows what I am doing right this moment even though I cannot see him. As a result, there is nothing to be ashamed from telling our secrets, needs, and wants. Also, Jesus wants to be friend with us. We tell friends what we did yesterday in school and borrow money. We can pray to Jesus our needs such as money whenever we need

Answer 1

You are capable of editing your homework. Do us proud!

Answer 2

Well, all the Jesus praising is making my eyes bleed, but I'll give it a shot:

First of all, I would take out all the "we's" and replace them with "I's" unless you intend on taking out the "I view this world very negatively". Switching POV's like that isn't really recommended. However, that's up to you to change it.

I view this world very negatively, so if we did not accompany Jesus all the time we would lose sight of our main goals in life. For example, we can sin by hurting innocent people, stealing money from the rich, taking illegal drugs, having sex when one is underage, or by not believing Jesus is our lord and savior. Personally, I must read the Bible several times and meet Jesus personally in order to preach in the Middle-East or other countries that have not been touched by Jesus' teachings.

I never keep the things of the world and the things of God separate because if I didn’t know Jesus personally, then I could not call Jesus as my Lord and, therefore, would not know Jesus by heart. Moreover, Jesus knows what I am doing right this moment although I cannot see him. As a result, there is nothing to be ashamed of from telling our secrets, needs, and wants. Jesus wants to befriend us. We tell friends what we did yesterday in school and borrow money; therefore, we should talk with Jesus about our daily lives or pray about our needs, such as money.

Answer 3

I view THE world very negatively, so if we did not accompany (omit "with") Jesus all the time, we would lose THE MAIN GOAL OF OUR LIFE. For example, we can sin BY hurting innocent people, stealing money from the rich, taking illegal drugs, having sex when (omit "you are") underage, or not believing Jesus as our savior. I must read THE BIBLE THOROUGHLY (omit "for") several times and meet Jesus personally in order to preach in the Middle-East or countries that do not believe in Jesus.

[I never keep the things of the world and the things of God separate because if I didn’t know Jesus personally, then I could not call Jesus as my Lord and would not know Jesus by heart.] --- This sentence makes absolutely no sense to me.

Moreover, Jesus knows what I am doing AT THIS VERY moment(comma) even though I cannot see him. As a result, there is NO REASON TO FEEL SHAME FOR our secrets, needs, and wants. Also, Jesus wants to be OUR FRIEND. We tell friends what we did yesterday in school and borrow money.

[We can pray to Jesus our needs such as money whenever we need] --- This sentence is agrammatical, makes no sense semantically, and is misguided. Omit it completely.

Answer 4

I know what you are saying and it is beautiful. A lot of your problem is with tense.

When you say "I must read the Bible thoroughly" you sound like this is NOT something that you do. Try putting this whole paragraph in Microsoft word-just copy and paste. Then go to Tools>>choose options>> then click on the spelling and grammar tab>>choose grammar and style under the writing style pull down menu, Then run the spell check and it will suggest corrections.

Answer 5

Edit your own homework. This is Religion and spirituality, not the grammar section. The only comment I'll make is an opinion of the subject:

I dislike people who go to other countries and try to destroy their religion and culture by introducing Christianity. I find it immoral and completely disrespectful to cultures and religions that in many cases are older than yours and richer.

Answer 6

I can put it in one sentence. How about

I live in a box with my imaginary friend and I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Morality is a product of society, not Jesus.

Answer 7

It should say "I must thouroughly read" instead of "I must read thouroughly"

"As a result, there is nothing to be ashamed from telling our secrets, needs, and wants" should say
"As a result, there is nothing to be ashamed OF BY telling our secrets, needs, and wants".

Answer 8

right here i attempted... u have been on course, u purely had a pair of grammar blunders lol was hoping i helped in time Okonoko, the protagonist of issues crumble, is a rigorous, yet surprising wrestler in his prolonged kin, Umofia. he's a “guy of action” who loathes indolent human beings at the same time together with his son, Nwoye, and father, Unoka. Okonko purposely exposes Nwoye’s faults in hopes that his son will attain genuine looking himself. in spite of the undeniable fact that deep down interior, Okonko particularly loves his kin and believes that his harsh words will in a roundabout way help his infants replace into greater suitable human beings. regrettably, Okonko is the tragic hero whose deadly flaws are delight and his lack of ability to specific his thoughts. as a consequence this leads Okonko to make a silly mistake of killing Ikemefuna, heat hearted and an cute baby to Okonko and Nwoye, to a headscarf ice to the Gods (i think of that’s the way it is going). because of the fact Okonko recklessly destroys the specific relationship between him and Ikemefuna, Okonko’s existence quickly turns to tragedy. Afterwards Okonko is tanted by the lack of ability of his observed son by mourning and recalling the night of Ikemefuna’s loss of existence. in addition to, Okonko faces much greater tragedy after the loss of existence of Ikemefuna at the same time with looking that Enoch, Okonko’s gifted daughter, is possessed by a demon. in addition to, Okonko is exiled for seven years in Mbaino after accidently taking photographs his honorable buddy’s son. contained in the tip, Okonko, the tragic hero, kills himself after dealing with ailment.

Answer 9

I'd give you a C in grammar and a D- for content

Answer 10

this is an answers forum, not a "do my homework for me" forum...turn off the computer and use your own brain!