I'm bored with life and I don't know what to do!?

Question

Ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted was to get married, have kids, have a good career, spend time w/ my family & enjoy life. Instead, I'm 36 yrs old, never married, unhappy in my job (& life), & a single parent of a preteen. My parents divorced while I was in college. I have an eating disorder that I battle every day. I have a condition that scarred my legs permanently which makes me self-conscious about getting involved w/ anyone. I haven't been on a date in over 4 years! And to make matters worse my mom, passed away last year, and I just can't shake the despair of never seeing or talking to her again.

I just don't enjoy life anymore. I go to work (from home),watch TV, eat & sleep. I work out daily but still struggle w/ my weight. I've tried online dating & therapy/meds to no avail. I just don't know what to do. I envy young people who have their whole lives ahead of them. I'm almost 40 and feel life is over, I think about suicide a lot...is there any help for me?

I do read books, the problem is deeper than that!

Thanks everyone for the responses...I couldn't choose a best answer because most of them were great! Again thanks for the advice!

Answer 1

of course there is help for you!!! don't worry about the scars on your legs, just wear long trousers, but make your personality shine through so that the scars wouldn't even matter! just smiling can bring up your mood tremendously.
have fun when you have free time! don't just sit on the couch and watch TV, take your son/daughter to a park, a festival, a parade. the possiblities are endless. or go by yourself if they are busy, at school, etc. swings are the best invention since sliced bread! the soaring feeling is so incredible it makes you feel unstoppable! or the slide! that's one of my other favorites. oooh, do you live near a creek? wading in a creek is excellent fun. you can search for little fish and critters or just enjoy the water. take an art class! art is a brilliant way to express yourself and taking a class would allow you to meet new people. all of the above would be a much better way to spend your time. cheaper too! cuz of the electric bill tv builds up. you know what? instead of not watching the tv, get rid of it! people are so much happier without tv in their life. they get out more, spend more time with friends and family, and just in general cheer up. at least get rid of cable. dvd's every once in a while are good though.
a yoga class would be perfect! omigosh, yoga is theee best relaxer ever. since you work out everyday, you'd probably be pretty good since it takes some serious strength sometimes.
try to find a yoga class that is co ed, if you know what i mean jellybean. ; )
i'm so sorry you've had it rough so far, but things can always turn around. i'm really really sorry bout your mum too. my grandmum just died not too long ago so my mum's going through the same thing. whatever you do, don't think about suicide, the thought will just depress you more and what will your preteen do? always remember them and their future. so try to smile and relax, in fact, as you are reading this, start smiling to bring your mood up.
best of luck in the future!

Answer 2

Dear armybrat 1989:

"Ok" so things are not looking and feeling so good to you at this time but thank God that you can still see and feel with the two very important physical faculties you were blessed with to help you make a difference in your life. Look around or simply view the evening news there are allot of unwelcome issues out there that certainly can alter ones life. Be thankful that you had the opportunity to attend college and why not turn your self-consciousness in to something more positive. If you can walk then you can do something about it. And as for your mom, I'm sorry for your loss, however; if you want to do her memory well then start being positive and if you are truly thinking that your life is a loss then why not be there for someone else in need and you can begin with your preteen who may just be struggling as well. There are people in need armybratt and you may just be the answer for them. Yup! my advise to you is to say your prayers and then and only then start being the other person. If you don't like the age of 40 well then change the next 40 years of your life and become the book that people are wanting to read about. Be the book of determination and hope for a much better life. When you decide to feel good about yourself and practice feeling good about yourself you will become a magnet to others and you will draw them in beyond your immagination. Its well known that beauty is only temporary but ones image last a life time. Now how do you want to be known?

PS. Do this and the dates will follow. I promise.

Answer 3

I think there is a lot to live for. If not for yourself , you have a child and even though your mother is no longer physically here, she is still with you. Do not give up on life. There has got to be things that you enjoy. I say focus on those things. Join a church, stay active..keep your mind preoccupied. What is your friend base like? Do you have siblings. Join a support group The main thing is that the way you are feeling comes from within. I would start there ! You have to love yourself enough to know that scars will not keep the right man from finding you. You have to know that it OK to be by yourself and that men can see when a woman is not secure in herself. You have to know that your mother would want you to live your life to the fullest so that her work was not in vain. You have to know that she can still here you when you talk to her. Life is really what you make of it. I have had similar feelings but then I realize that I can get busy living or can get busy dying .....Get busy living !

Answer 4

I know this may sound religious, But.. don't knock it till you try it. I had problems like you. I prayed ( I don't go to church or preach to other people) but I do believe I received my answer. I prayed and asked that I will find my way, find confidence, learn to deal with issues, become more loving, find a partner, be happy etc.. I wrote down what my life would be like if it was perfect. And it made me see what it was I wanted to do with my life. It took some soul searching, but I know I was helped by guidance from above.

Lookout for signs from the universe, especially signs from your mother!!! She would be trying to get messages to you all the time I'm sure. PAY ATTENTION to your dreams, that will be the easiest way she can get through to you. Pay attention to a song that you hear, words you see, articles that pop up from no-where. Either way, you have a spirit which is searching for a way and there is help, A LOT OF HELP you just need to learn how to listen and feel what your spirit (soul) is telling you. You must love yourself yourself no matter what and see that things happen to us for a reason and some things are there to test us and make us stronger. I believe in you and I believe you can come out of this. I will say a prayer as I send this and remember to always live today, not yesterday.. ):

Answer 5

You have a child to live for. When you have a child you have to stop being selfish and live life for them as well./ When you act depressed or show signed that you have an eating disorder, how do you think you child will feel?? You will give him/her the wrong ideas. Life is not all about being in a relationship. That is not what makes you whole. You should go to the gym meet people and try new things. Good luck. You are not alone, many people feel this way. you just don't know it.

Answer 6

Well, Sweetheart don't give up on life. I'm 31 old I have 4 children I go through many things as well and stress is one of them. Life is a journey and it is not easy.I am sorry for your loss,
But everyone has to go through it. I can't tell you to grieve and go on with your life, because some people take longer than others to heal. You have a daughter, and she needs you. Think about her, she needs her mother. Suicide is never the answer. If you keep yourself in that comfort zone of doing the same pattern everyday that's all you know. I work full time I have all boys that give me a headache on a regular, but I keep going, I love my life I'm a very fun person,I love my job & everyone alway loves to be around me. Find a church home and Pray daily, and ask God to help you. You'll see he work wonders, but in his timing. You have so much to live for. I hope I've been some help to you. If need someone to talk too to help you work out certain situations you can e-mail me anytime @ [e-mail]..........Take Care

Answer 7

Wow....

You most likely need anti-depressants. Although you said meds did not help.

Maybe a change in activities? Try some volunteer work.

Maybe something that validates you as a person of value in the community.

Get a pet if you do not already have one.

Do you see friends regularly?

I know this sounds weird, but GO HIKING. Being in the wilderness is really grounding and helps me to feel better all the time.

Answer 8

Try finding a new hobby where you can meet people. Sounds like your in a rut and need a change. I just bought a guitar and am going to teach myself to play. I also have joined boot camp. I am a mom of three and havent done anything for me in ages. THis is the year for ME!

You should probably talk to a therapist too. And not to sound pushy, but maybe church could help you. There are amazing people and a great support system.

Good luck.

Answer 9

You need to get yourself some new dreams, some goals, something you want to achieve, then spend your waking hours working toward it and your sleeping hours dreaming about it.

And believing 40 is the end of life is very ignorant. You may live to be 90...that's 50 years left to live, 14 years more than you've already lived. Find something you enjoy and love and make those 54 years enjoyable years. Learn to live life to the fullest.

Answer 10

Hey Babe! Life has just begun! I am working on starting a boring club. Your welcome to join it! I haven't been back to myspace to add anything new on it because I am at a place where they block the computer user from even going into myspace. what a bummer. Yep! Babe! I am bored with my life to! Can't seem to get any kind of justice any where. Can't find a man that don't have his thingy in his hands an that's all he wants. Cant find how to become self employed. Can't seem to find happyness anywhere. Than I realized that happyness must come from within inside of yourself. Hard to see it yet that's where I found it. Try something new and adventures in your life. See how you feel after you do it. Well no comment after my last sentance there. Hey you gotta be happy with yourself accept who you are and move up and on with your life We can do it! Hey, now I need to thin of a name for my boring club.