These 2 guys are at it. One guy has been a sort of friend of mine for years (Ben). I work closely with the other guy (Jack).
Very long story short-- Jack is really a smart *** but funny guy.
Ben is a quiet keep to himself type.
Jack has been picking on Ben now for about a year. Picking on him in a kinda funny way. Ben has had enough of it. He is going to our H.R. dept tomorrow and request a meeting with our h.r. leader, our supervisor,and Jack. I know almost for certian that if Ben tells what Jack has been saying that Jack will be fired. Stupid (sexual) jokes is what it is.
I have a feeling that I will be called in there to either credit or discredit one or the other.... I don't want anything to do with this crap! It's childish! Someone please tell me what I can say IF they call me to h.r... How do I tell my boss that I prefer to not be a part of this? Or can I even do that? I don't want to choose sides at all. If I tell the truth it will surely get 1 of them fired.
2007-09-06 12:36:10 · 11 answers · asked by JT 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
May be the instigator does not realise how much of a problem he is creating - he may be immature and just needs a stiff talk by someone of authority .
should they call you to credit or discredit be fair and honest.
Could you not talk to the instigator and explain his job is on the line ?
2007-09-06 12:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Maka 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell HR you'd rather not be a part of it. If they/he accepts your insistence, then great. If not, be truthful during the meeting. However, if the HR manager asks for your personal opinion on something like, "Do you think Ben is overreacting?" "Do you think Jack is crossing the line?" then tell them your opinion is irrelevant. What's going on between Jack and Ben has nothing to do with your opinion, so don't get yourself into that trap. Good luck.
2007-09-06 14:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by Opal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently it is like you said: Ben has had enough of it. It is not funny to him. What is wrong with that? What if you had had enough of someone's smarta** remarks? Would it be childish then?
You need to grow up a bit. If it is required, you tell the truth. Would you not want someone to do that for you?
It seems like Jack needs to learn respect.
No, maa'm, sexual harassment can occur between ANY people. Legally there have been same sex cases, opposite sex cases too.
2007-09-06 12:45:37 · answer #3 · answered by hopflower 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As you say what Jack has been doing is childish and stupid, but it is also harassment and if he has been doing it for the last year and ignoring Ben's requests to stop then he has invited the review on himself.
As far as being questioned goes if they call you, you must answer truthfully or be placed under review yourself.
2007-09-06 12:49:35 · answer #4 · answered by Forgotten 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you say is that you don't know anything because you've been too busy working. You might not be totally believed, but it's not your business or your problem. You are there to make money and if you say anything, you are going to look like a snitch to the rest of your coworkers and then people will walk on egg shells around the one who didn't get fired. It'll just snow ball.
Truthfully; the quiet one should've stood up for himself and this would've caused the smart --s to back off a little (such is life), but he didn't and now he's going to HR about it. Let it be between them. And the one who pushed too far? Let this be HIS lesson - however the chips may fall.
2007-09-06 14:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by lookinforanswers 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Technically sexual harrassment can only occur between two people of opposite sexes. Unless one of the two are gay then that is open to debate.
Has Ben stood up for himself? Told Jack to knock it off or he would go to HR and complain? Or does he just whine to you about it?
If he has told Jack that he would eventually get fed up enough to run and cry, then Jack deserves to be fired, sorry. If Ben has just smiled and then whined later, he needs to grow up and grow a pair.
If Ben has said nothing, then you owe Jack a phone call tonight, maybe if Jack runs to Ben in the a.m. and apologizes and tells him that things will change, he has a chance of keeping his job.
As for you, this is what I would say (but odds are an experienced HR person would not call a third party in). Scenario # 1. Well, boss I think they are both assets to the company and I hate to think of either of them going, but Ben has repeatedly asked Jack to knock it off and since we are here, he obviously hasn't. That is all I know.
Scenario #2. Well boss I think they are both assets to the company but in all fairness to Jack, Ben has never said anything to Jack about these jokes bothering him, so in my opinion Jack should have a chance to change his behavior. But that's just me and that is all I know.
Or Scenario #3, you tell your boss, Well boss I think that they are both assets to the company and I want to stay out of the middle of this completely. As it is not my business.
2007-09-06 12:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by Gem 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You don't have to say anything...it's not a trial. Just say you would rather not get involved. It sounds like Jack is jerk...and if it had been you he has been harassing for a year....well You get the point.
2007-09-06 12:48:27 · answer #7 · answered by Glinda W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that, tell HR that you are here to do a job and this is not part of it and youd rather stay out of it. You are being fair.
2007-09-10 07:51:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jukebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just say what you said here! You don't want to get involved in this, because they are both your friends. You prefer to not be a part of this.
2007-09-06 12:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would try to say that you don't want to get involved. You might say neither one of them has bothered you. I think that would be as neutral as you can get. Hopefully only a earning will be given, and you can keep out of it. I would also say that "I haven't formed an opinion on that".
2007-09-06 12:47:27 · answer #10 · answered by RB 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋