Is there something wrong with me?

Question

I have a problem. My Nephew just turned two,but I've loved him since before he was born. at first his mother and father (which are my brother and sister in law ) didn't want him when they found out that they where pregnant they where going to abort him,but i talked them out of it. i went to every doctors appointment ,and named the baby. then i raised him until just recently a couple of days before his 2nd birthday they took him away from me because they where upset they saw a photo of us and said that "we look too much like a family" now I'm devastated but i can't do anything about it because they're his parents.but they don't know any thing about the baby,his favorite lullaby,his favorite toys,his favorite story nothing! and i don't have kids of my own ,but how can i stop my heart from feeling this way I feel like he's my baby am i wrong to feel this way?

and by the way hes he calls me mommy, i called them to check on him the other day and they put the phone to his ear and he said "mommy are you mad at me ? why can't i come home?

Answer 1

You are absolutely right. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I have basically raised my newphew since he was one years old...he's now seven.

You have the right to petition the court to review the case. You're going to have to prove you're been the one whose had him.
EX. Did you have him on your insurance?
Do you have proof of all the things you provided him, day care? food? clothing? diapers? formula?
Do you have a record of how much they have or have not been around him? did they regularly see him? Was there a long time where they were never around the child...to where you could file abandonment?

You're going to have to point out how irresponsible they are, proving them to be unfit to care for the two year old toddler. You will want to point out he's already gotten a strong attachment to you, and calls you mommy. You have gotten a strong attatchment to this child as well.

You'll have to prove that it's detrimental for the child to be removed from your care. You'll have to prove them unfit, emotionally unstable? Drug use? Alcoholic? Abusive? UN employment, so means to support him?

Talk to the local social services they may be able to help you. They can investigate the home the child is in at the current moment. They can reccomend to the courts what they see as best. You can request visitation with the child until the custody is decided, you can request he reside with you until it's decided, you can request the child have a gaurdian adlitem...it's a lawyer for the child, adn only the child's best interest.

You brother and sister in law are being immature and selfish. They are just jealous of the bond you have created with your nephew. They are now realizing how rewarding being a 'mommy' can really be.

* them not knowing anything 'fav lullaby, fav toys, fav story' can prove the change was not gradual or benefically smooth for the child. it helps prove how the parents were not thinking of the child's best interest. They were solely thinking of their own wants.

This all depends on your state...but I hope this helps. The Police will not be able to help you without a court order restating the childs custody with you. Contact Social Services, and a lawyer. If you can not afford a lawyer...start asking someone to take your case probono or present it yourself...just make sure to have all your ducks in a row.

Answer 2

It's very sad what you are going through, that's why I always said I would have never adopted a child. I would always live in fear the biological parents will take the child away from me. In your case, I would say, please, don't do anything that will put your brother and sister in law against you or you will lose any kind of way to be close to that child. If you keep a good relationship with the parents, they will let you see the child whenever you want. You're probably angry about what happened and you're right to be, but if you, by any reason, make them angry at you, you will never be able to see that child again. Play safe so you can keep a relationship with the baby. Think about it!!

Answer 3

I'd call around, everything from lawyers to child services. Unfortunately if they never signed custody over to you you probably don't have any standing but the fact that you cared for the child for two years and this is obviously negatively affecting him, mentally and emotionally, might give you some standing.

Answer 4

you are more than right to feel such a way. I know the feeling. Just remember that he loves you too! I would suggest looking to legal support. Maybe there is something you CAN do. Don't give up just yet.

Answer 5

you have to fight for this child ( obviously not physically) but u love him, they didn't want him and u did, its not right for them to just change their minds. its almost like they put up the child for adoption once the child is gone the other parents are the legal guardians its almost as if u were his legal guardian and they have no right taking him from u and one more question did he call u mom? ( sorry I'm just wondering)

Answer 6

you just pack a bag and go to cabin or lake or somethign get away and jsut do nothing but rest and it will help you i am sorry but had simliary incident and its the only way to deal and be careful its sad butyou cna't do nothing. good luck

Answer 7

hmmm...
you understand your situation.
yea you can do nothing about it.
just forget about him.
try.... very hard i know. but you have to try anyway.
you better find something new and keep yourself busy.
i think they gonna beg you to take care of him again...
just dont stop loveing him and keep yourself busy.
how about your mom? your sis and husband are going to move? if not, you still have chance to take care of him again right?

Answer 8

No. You're just loving him, like a mother would, and perhaps wishing you had a son.