Stay At Home Moms Are Only 12% of the Populuation........?

Question

so, why do they think they are better then working mothers? They are truly in the minority.

Just b/c a mother works, it does not make her a bad mother. Working moms can have just as good bonds/relationships/parenting skills and styles as SAHMs.

I know a few SAHMs and they are lazy. Not to stay that ALL SAHM are like that. But, for every working mothers, there is a "lazy" SAHM out there too.

I was the child of a working parent. As an adult, you won't know that. I'm just as well-adjusted and productive as the next adult. I went to college and am working on a master's degree.

In high school, I was on a varisty sports team, member of the yearbook, in the community service club and I taught religious ed. I never drank, did drugs or had sex.

However, I had many friends w/ SAHM and a few of them got into tons of trouble in high school and post-high school. Right now, one has quit school, doesn't have a job and lives w/ her boyfriend who she cooks and cleans for.

Has no car and no personal money.

I know another SAHM who's roof is failing through her house right now. She doesn't work and has no child. Instead of working (b/c they really need 2 incomes) she has asked her parents for the money. But, they said "no"

I mean, is it really worth your house falling apart to be at home with your child. She could bond with the kid everyday after work and not have to worry about her house caving in.

Basically, I want to know why SAHM thing they are "better then working moms"

Can all mothers just get along?

sorry, about edit---she has one child

Sorry, didn't mean to sound bitter. I guess I just have a really "strong" writing style.

I've been told that before. I just like to emphasize my points and such. No bitterness here.

Answer 1

Wow. Are you a mother? Have you ever had to make the choice of whether or not to work while caring for your own children? Have you ever had to care for your kids after losing a job and then realized that it worked better for you? I think you have a very narrow view of what most SAHM's are actually like. I am friends with quite a few SAHM's and working mothers alike and I have never heard any of them say that they are better than the other. HOWEVER, I am glad to see that Freedom of Speech in our country is still alive and sweeping generalizations are as rampant as people are ignorant.

There are so many factors that go into raising children and how they turn out. Did you ever stop to think that the way your friends turned out had anything to do with THEIR poor choices and really didn't have anything to do with whether or not their parents worked?

I'd like to think that if I became sick or was dying that I wouldn't have any regrets about how I raised my children. Right now I am more comfortable staying at home with them while they are little. I can be there for them when they get sick and I can be with them at the activities that they participate in. Not everyone can do it and I personally believe that it's the hardest job on the planet. I still struggle with my decision and for me, sometimes I think it would be easier for me if I did go back to work. I have done both...worked full time with kids and stayed at home with my kids. Each family has to ultimately make the decision for themselves and it has to be about personal accountability. Would you be proud of how you raised your kids? If you worked and then came home and spent your time with your family, I have no doubts that you could have a healthy relationship and the kids MIGHT turn out ok. Regardless of working parents or not, kids are hard to raise and there are no guarantees.

How many people look back on their life and wish that they'd spent more time at work or made more money? Personally, I don't want to be the person wishing that I'd spent more time with my family...I want to the be the person that did it.

Answer 2

I had to really look for the point of your question here, and it seems like you have been given the impression that SAHMs think they're better than working moms.

I myself am a working mom who would LOVE to have been a SAHM. But that's not possible in my life. I'm THE breadwinner, my husband, who's disabled, gets to stay at home. He doesn't realise how incredibly lucky he is to see all those things I miss.

To me, SAHMs aren't lazy; they're lucky. And though you will see some SAHMs who you think just don't have a clue about the hard work that goes into a day, there are many who do. And not all working moms want to be working; they'd give anything to get to take the kids to school and pick them up and go to assemblies and all that.

Your question generalizes and stereotypes both working moms and SAHMs. If you've encountered only the stereotype, I feel bad for you... but don't sweep everyone up with the same brush...

Answer 3

First of all whether they SAHM's are the minority or not has nothing to do with whether they are better or not. Second, most SAHM's are very busy and don't have time to worry about which type of mom is better. I was a working mom and now I stay at home. I think it has made me a better mom, but I don't think that is how it is for everyone. It sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. If you want to be a mom and work outside the home, great. If you want to be a SAHM, that is cool too. Don't be so quick to judge.

Answer 4

I think a sahm has a huge job and usually does not want to do it and that is why the kids did not turn out as well. I had a "sahm" most of the time. She starting going to school part time and still do the SAHM, but would fall asleep instead of picking me up from school. Even when there was no school she would forget to pick up my sister. We usually road the bus, then too many kids where getting hurt on the bus so we went to being picked up. She did not do much of the house work or cooking. Now she is working, as an engineer, just 16 years of college, including getting her MRS with my father.

I do not think a SAHM is really needed in society now. Guys need to be able to take care of what they help make. As in messes, kids, and help the spouse. Then she can help him even more. If things are bad and the woman home schools the child, as long as she is smart enought, then she is needed. There are a ton of night jobs out there and day jobs. Once a child is born that is the main goal in life for a great parents. Sorry to all the single parents I just pissed off. Both people can work and really make the house great. Shows the kid(s) how either male or female can do things. I know some of the people who just live off the governement and I think if the kids are not doing well in school then cut the benifits the family gets. The parents should push to have the kids do well so they have a better change. Also a lot of the people on the governement aid do not have educations, which should change. No GED, no free money, then maybe the youth will have a better chance overall on education and seeing people work hard to achive.

Answer 5

I'm gonna start off by saying that you do seem to generalize all the SAHM. I have a 14 month old son and I'm 15 weeks pregnant with our second child. When I had my son I owned my own beauty salon. After he came along, I didn't have time or money for the overhead so I sold out. I went to work at another salon part-time. That lasted about 5 months. I missed my son, I missed my husband...I AM NOT LAZY!! The way my husband works I didn't get to see him as often. I didn't want to come home from work and have my mother-in-law tell me "He started crawling today!!" I would have felt awful!! Now that I stay home I have plenty of time for my son, my husband, and my house has never been cleaner! CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF NOT ALL SAHM THINK THAT WORKING MOTHERS ARE AWFUL, WE DON'T ALL SIT AROUND WATCHING THE SOAPS AND GETTING FAT, AND NOT ALL OUR ROOFS ARE FALLING IN!!!

Answer 6

You need to seriously CHILL! LOL I don't think that SAHM's are better OR worse than mom's who work outside the home. I don't understand why there has to be a conflict at all. I stay at home with my children and take care of them and see to their needs, but not everyone has that luxury. Most of my friends are NOT SAHMs and we get along just fine. I don't understand why there's always this big giant strife between the two. My friends don't hate me for being able to stay home with my children and sometimes theirs and I don't hate them for having to use daycare or my house to take care of their kids while they work. What bothers me, is this perception that SAHM's are all lazy, sit at home on their butts watching tv while the kids raise themselves and their houses fall down around them. While I'm sure there are SAHM's who fit that bill, there are also working moms who are the same way when they come home from work and would be regardless of if they worked or didn't. It's more about the quality of the person to start with and not what they do in life. I wish the various groups of mothers would quit the silly "I'm better than you are" garbage and learn that it's perfectly fine to choose EITHER way to parent a child, as long as the child is being taken care of responsibly wherever they are.

Answer 7

Well, why do you seem to think working moms are better? It takes a lot of self sacrifice to stay at home with a child all the time and take care of the home. My husband works and went to college for two years while I was at home with our daughter. He was at school all morning and working all night. And even now I cook all his food, not just dinner but lunches and breakfast. And not instant food all the time either. Real food. I keep the house clean, and I actually teach my daughter more than most of her friends that go to daycare know. There are plenty of sahm that abuse the previledge I'm sure. And yes, we are in the minority. But we've got time one our sides. Women have been staying home MUCH longer than women have been going to work. I don't think I'm any better than working women in general. But I know I'm better than some of them who just drop their kids off at daycare or school and expect the rest of the world to raise them instead of actually paying attention. And I know I'm better than the sahms that are just lazy and don't want to work.

Answer 8

wow.. you sound angry.. anyway i stay home with my kids and don't think i am better then anyone.. just live a different way..
just thought i would put that in.

I just wanted to add, because Jesse mentioned that there are lots of night time, and day time jobs out there..

If my husband works days, I take care of the kids all day
and i work nights, he takes care of the kids all night...

when is there going to be time for us to be a couple? i'm not saying it doesn't work.. but i do think it puts alot of strain on a relationship.. (me and my husband have done it, and found out we really missed seeing each other)

Answer 9

Yes there are SAHM who are lazy. And Yes there are working mothers who neglect there children too for the sake of work and money.

My mom was a single mom who worked. When we woke up she was not there, when we got home from school, she was not there. Then she was out on dates alot for her social life. Yeah, sounds like a good life for kids huh.

I stay at home and raise my own kids. I am no lazy butt.

I personally think its best when a parent is home available 24/7 to your family, like when kids get sick at school I'm home to pick them up and take care of them.

Working parents can have well adjusted children, I don't doubt that, but is it best? I understand, as well, when it comes to making ends meet, then both need to work. But if one is working for personal reasons of accomplishment and having babies and sending them to daycare is just plane sad and on the selfish side.

No bitterness here. Just my opinion and experience. :-)

Answer 10

You have quite the opinion on something that really does not concern you yet.
We ARE getting along, then questions like yours are posted, stirring the pot, and we have to defend ourselves all over again.
For the last time: Whether to SAHM or not is a personal decision that is never taken lightly.
Have a family first - then you can lecture us.