Do you think stay at home moms are backwards?

Question

I get a lot of backlash on my choice...I've seen on here that with the feminist movement that why would you want to stay at home. Well I do! I'm educated but chose to put career on hold to look after my kids. Shouldn't the feminist movement be about CHOICE---what ever that may be for the woman?!

Also I get the "oh you're so fortunate to be able to afford that". Well unless you are single mom, you can do it, it's a choice. My choice was to be a stay at home mommy, live in a smaller house and not have two cars, and yet we can still provide amazingly for our kids.

Isn't it all about choice and shouldn't we as women celebrate that and not attack those who CHOSE to work and those who don't?!

btw --Dalice N...we don't have health benefits..I gave them up with my job! We pay out of our own pocket. IT's a sacrifice.

ok- who knew this was sooo controversial and people take it so personally...sure put in the cost of living thing but it's still a choice! That is the bottom line...you choose to live in the higher end home with your two cars. And any testimony against that is beside the point..I

t is choice and only you have the choice on how your life is and how you want to make it...that is my point obviously gone over head of some guilt ridden parents. I

Anyone thinking I'm wrong for staying at home is an idiot! We have no car, live in a smaller home but we can move around its called WALKING, taxis and buses!! I get compliments all the time on how well adjusted my kids are so don't stress about that!!!

ok- please understand this is just a question, to waste 5 points for me...nothing too deep! Some of you are really too serious---it's just a q, nothing life or death! So relax some of you and so lets put the pitch forks and stones away already!!

Answer 1

i am with you,,i am a SAHM too,,(stay at home mommy),,i love being home with my kids,,i put my career on hold 5 yrs ago,to be with my kids,,they are only little once,,why not enjoy it,,life is way to short and goes way to fast,,,

we sacrife a lot too,,one car not a big home,,,but there is soo much love! And we always have food!!!!

ya its a choice not a lot of people can afford,,and some dont want to stay at home,,everyone has a diff oppinion and everyone is right with there choice,,,
all people are diff and we all need to accept change and difference in oppinion,,

have fun tho!

Answer 2

It's TOTALLY your choice and no one can tell you differently. I believe that women get the choice - but should never be forced into being a stay at home mom. Some people might take advantage of you - that's the only down side. Some people may think you are uneducated, when the truth is that it's something you've always wanted. That's actually something I've always thought about doing. I am still a kid, but if I have to, I wouldn't mind falling back on that

Good Luck

Answer 3

I have been a Stay at Home Dad for the last eight months. Both my wife and I are college educated, have gone to graduate school and had good careers. I gave mine up for a while when our daughter was born. When you talk about sacrifices you have to keep in mind the term is relative to your standard of living and the area in which you live. To my wife and I sacrifices meant eating out once or twice a week rather than four times a week and getting rid of the tons of premium cable channels we never even knew we had in the first place. To others who are barely getting by to begin with they are forced to work. It does not make anyone a bad parent; and I know many people have the rational if you can not afford kids don't have them. I don't agree with that, sometimes there are accidents; the condom breaks, the pill does not work etc.. Also, sometimes the female is diagnosed with some sort of disease that can impact her ability to conceive so her only choice is to immediately try ready or not.
Being a Stay at Home Parent is work. You are the cook, maid, driver and spend the rest of the day chasing after the kids. Being a working parent is just as hard. You work a full day and still have to find the energy to be a good parent.
The other day I got a very enticing job offer and will be going back to work. My daughter will be going to daycare and neither my wife nor I feel it is the wrong choice. We both have great careers with nice salaries. Not that material objects buy happiness, but we are both going to be working to invest in our future as a family. Two incomes are better than one, more money for home improvements, investing etc..
Either way their is nothing wrong with chosing to work or stay home. However, I do not agree with the unless you are a single mom comment. As it is our mortage is over $2,000 a month, we pay high taxes and have two car payments. Not everyone wants to make sacrifices, it does not mean they do not love their children as much as the parent who gives their child their last few dollars so the child can eat. It is very easy to increase your standard of living as your income rises, however, it is hard to decrease it as it falls. Some people can do it while others can't.

Answer 4

I think all moms are backwards - we have to be in order to care for so many people on such a deep level. Moms, working or not ,aren't just responsible for the number of kids we have but our spouses and significant others, our extended families, friends, and our children's friends....throw in the house, errands, food, finances, and ourselves....it's amazing any of us can do it working or not....but you throw in a part time or full time job and you've got twice the work load. I am both a working and SAHM...when my husband goes to work he's there 9-5 - I go to work I'm there my shift plus 24-7 at home...the kid/home responsibilities don't become someone elses just because I have a job....And for some to work or not is a choice - for the rest of us it's a requirement. I have to stay home because both my son and daughter have alot of medical problems which often require full time care or watching - yet there are months we can't afford groceries or gas so I have to work to help out my children...I couldn't make the choice to stay home so they can starve - but I couldn't make the choice to work so they can be sick alone....that means on top of everything else I have to work until they become too sick - then I have to quit to care for them....do you know how hard it is to find a job that allows that...educated or not??!! Ultimatley kids have nothing to do with choice (after their concieved that is) - it has to do with responsibility and what they need in the moment. Your choice to stay home might be just what they need and work - that is until God forbid a major chatastophy in your life...then you may find you can't support your kids after years of being a SAHM....you might wish you had done different - the same hold true for working moms...it might seem right until something major happens and they've lost the chance to watch their children grow...that's the funny thing about parenting - there just is no right answer...in the meantime our parental choices are about the responsibility we have in the moment and what are kids need from us now....be happy with your choice and don't worry about others...in the end the only one you have to answer to is yourself and your children.

Answer 5

I think stay at home mom is great, and I know I would hate to have people consider my wife backwards when she works HARD keeping that kiddo happy all day. But the second she decided to quit grad school (which she hated) to be stay at home everyone started asking her when she's going back to work, as if we couldn't live with 2 kids and one income, which is kind of annoying since we're doing fine.

Answer 6

I am a SAHM, but I have been a working mom as well. I made a brief foray back into the workplace part time after my youngest child started school thinking that without childcare expenses it would be good to increase our household income. It was a nightmare. Our expenses went through the roof for everything from groceries to gasoline. I was hardly home three days a week, and it was obvious very quickly just how important my contribution as the at-home mom was to our family. We save hundreds of dollars a WEEK by me being at home, and my children do not sacrifice my availability for "quality" time. They are old enough to have weighed in on the issue, and as a family we are in agreement that everyone's needs are best met by me staying at home.

Answer 7

I agree, I had a very good job making great money for a large financial institution but decided I wanted to be home. I didn't realize how much I was spending to work gas, lunch, clothing it adds up also with respect to health insurance I had great insurance most people don't realize how much they are actually paying for health insurance I hear this all the time I can't quit because we need the insurance you are better off buying your own policy young you never know what will happen My mom worked for a large hospital for 16 years and last week they came in and say we are closing your department hand in your keys and everyone had to leave now she is out of a job with no insurance. I hear stories like this all the time you are a hard working employee dedicate yourself to making someone else rich and when they are done with you what do you have? Bottom line is to each his or her own isn't that why we have choices.

Answer 8

I had a very rewarding professional career and enjoyed my job a great deal. Nothing, however, has been more meaningful or rewarding (or more work) as being a stay-at-home-mom. If you can figure out how to do it, do it. You won't regret it. Your son will benefit MORE by the relationship you have with him and the interaction than the "nice place to grow up." Is there any way you can economize further, perhaps get a part-time job (even at your current place of work), and make it work that you can keep the house and be home "more"?

Answer 9

I don't think stay at home moms are backwards. I'm a housewife and my husband is a student. We don't make a lot of money and we only have one car but we get by. My husband and I respect our traditional roles in society. When I have kids I will stay at home with them even when they are grown. I love being a housewife plus I don't interact well with other people and my husband wants me to stay at home because he is worried about my safety if I were to work since we're Muslims and since I'm a woman.

Answer 10

no one should put anyone down for being a stay at home mom or for having to or choosing to work. all in all it is a personal choice, and so long as you are loving and attentive to your children and give them all that you have it shouldnt matter or be a controversay. but the one thing i do have a problem with is by saying someone can make it work w/o both parents working, that its a choice, thats being just as critical to others as those being critical to you.

some towns arnt large enough to have a general taxi service buses or trains. therefore we must own a car to get to work in the next town over. and no not all people CAN make it work. thats just your situation. try being as open minded as you're asking others to be.

there is nothing wrong with you staying at home, as there is nothing wrong with me going to work. children will not be traumatized either way. im not sure what there is to argue about. its simply a choice for what is best for what family.

Answer 11

okay, i was just about to agree with you wholeheartedly, but then you gave us working moms flack (okay, i'm not quite one yet, but i know i will have to be once the baby comes), and how it's always "our choice"--which i have to disagree with. i would LOVE to stay at home, but i can't. i wish i was fortunate enough to, i really do.

i've found a LOT of very rude and mean people who are quite vociferous and hateful toward working moms. it isn't always a choice, and you really should feel fortunate to be in the position that you are able to be a sahm. i don't even know of any anymore, but everyone i know would love to be one.

if i had a choice, i'd be a sahm. i've been attacked for inquiring about chosing a good day care, by several people who have said some very nasty evil things.
i don't think you are wrong for staying home, not in the slightest!! just that you're wrong that you aren't *fortunate* to be able to do so. i would feel so fortunate!! i really would appreciate that more than anything in the world.