i'm 17 turning 18 on oct 23 and Andrew (my bf) is the same age but his bday is oct 27. we met in a chatroom and i met him with my parents in july. well, he asked me to marry him and i stupidly said yes and i'm "going to move in with him on oct 28". BUT, i'm pentacostal(christian) and he's not, i have a huge problem with that. i've came close to braking up with him so many times but i just got soft and stayed with him. i'm giving up a lot if i go there, i mean i'm getting my ged and i'm leaving my family for crying out loud, its just too much. see the thing is, he's in pa and i'm in or. i talked to him before about how i feel and he's like "i'm a christian but i just don't beleive some of it" i was like you either beleive it or you don't. and plus he just argues with me about everything, every aregu we have i turn out the be the bad one, i mean sometimes its my fault but not all the time. i've been seriously thinking about ending it but i just don't know what and how i should
2007-09-06 07:50:48 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like he doesn't feel right about it either and is picking a fight, possibly so he doesn't have to do the breaking up. If you're arguing cross country, imagine how much worse it will be in the same city. You are both young; live life a little, get an education, meet some new people and check back with each other in five years. If it's meant to be, love will wait.
2007-09-06 08:26:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you have changed your mind about marrying anyone at this time in your life.
This has nothing to do with arguing or your respective beliefs. It has everything to do with you growing up, getting your GED and maybe getting into a training program or community college so you can earn a decent living as a good Christian woman.
Speak with your parents about your misgivings. Speak with your pastor and maybe your elders as well. They'll respect you enough to see you're in need of some good prayers and guidance. But don't pledge your life to someone with whom you share so little. It's a huge mistake - that's why you're so upset.
I urge you to pray. Pray a lot. And don't be afraid to talk to your folks about this. Even if they think you should marry this man - don't do it. BUT show that you are really praying about all of this and that God is telling you that this whole thing is wrong.
Then, stop all communications with him. Period. do not return calls, emails or letters. Break up with him and make it stick.
Yes, it will hurt - but this is but one of the many hurts we will face in our lives. Consider it a test of God and your faith. Then read Job.
2007-09-06 08:10:20 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Being Pentecostal ourselves, you have to ask yourself, "How much do you believe in being Pentecostal?"
Aside from that, it really sounds like the "arguing" is a major factor. It doesn't matter if you said yes in the heat of the moment. Sounds like you really didn't mean it, and for all intended purposes, it really sounds like you two will be in for a whooole lot of trouble.
You can't be a part Christian. If you're Pentecostal, then you have more than the average Christian experience, including revelation that sets you apart.
It also sounds like you are staying in a situation by "pressure" or "force" by emotions or external sources.
Haven't heard you say anything about your pastor, your belief, the church, friends, youth pastor, or such like. Are you backslid, cold, or in the middle, or are you just Pentecostal by label? Or do you stand for what is right, and what is good?
You reaaally need to break it off in a tactful way, and refocus on your future. If he argues with you about "everything" now, what will your closeness, loving relationship be after marriage? Sounds like you'll be in for a wild ride of heartache, suffering and pain.
As former Youth Pastors, listen. Break it up, and get on your knees to seek His will. Talk to trusted youth pastors or leaders that you actually trust.
We'll be praying with you. Btw, we came from OR to DE (next to PA) ourselves. :)
http://www.housefellowship.org
2007-09-06 08:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all i am going to say is....If you argue now and you aren't even in the same state just don't think that is going to change. Once you are living together, you will have more to argue about. Just from your post, I think you already have the answer. Besides both of you are still quite young. You have lots of time. You just sound like you are asking for permission to breakup with him. Permission granted. When it happens, really happens.....all these issues won't be issues. Good luck.
2007-09-06 08:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by twanieskies 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a fool. Get a high school diploma. Get out and live on your won for at least 4 years. After you have done this you will know what the real world is like and won't fall for a fool!
I have know all kinds of religiour zealots and if religion is a problem now it will be greater if you marry.
DON'T GET MARRIED LIVE A LITTLE FIRST ON YOUR WON.
2007-09-10 07:21:29 · answer #5 · answered by dadw5boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gut is telling you something here. Listen to it.
You have a huge problem with his religious beliefs (or lack thereof)- by the way if you're a pentacostal christian what are you doing moving in with a guy you're not married to? but I digress.
You have plenty of life ahead of you to find the perfect person to be with who shares your values. Don't settle just because you're afraid of being alone.
2007-09-06 08:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by LB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wooowww first off your way to young to get married...... how bout you get a job and travel and meet other people? You may find Mr. right elsewhere. Go out and see the world for 10 years then look consider getting married. Marriage is not all its cracked up to be..... life is to be enjoyed, you dont need a piece of paper to say your married. LIVE LIFE FIRST. Best of luck here.
2007-09-06 08:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ask the same question a couple of times, but I'm still going to tell you that dropping out of high school and moving to another state is a terrible idea.
2007-09-06 08:31:47 · answer #8 · answered by MyMichelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think moving across the country with someone that you are unsure of is a really bad idea.
If this guy argues alot now.... it will only get worse... and blaming you for all the discord is a real bad sign... that can be a red light for controlling, manipulating behavior.
I say.. forget about him and focus on your goals.
2007-09-06 07:57:46 · answer #9 · answered by Bentley 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
BE HONEST... don hold it in and feel you have to do anything your family should be #1 and your education is even more important right now then to get married and then next thing you know you will be pregnant (not intentially)but things happen i would sit him down and tell him that you love him but you want a long engagement
2007-09-06 08:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by milf613 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋