My ex is a manipulator and a liar, we are going to court for custody of our son, how do I fight a liar?

Question

Ex has been selling and dealing drugs while he has our son, 28 years old just got a 16 year old pregnant when he already has three other kids he doesnt see or finacially support. Lost his license and has been driving with no ins., no lic. no registration, etc. No stable living environment. Currently paying rent to sleep on someones living room floor.... shall I continue? I am trying to get full custody, but the courts now push so hard for equal rights, how do I counteract this view?

Okay, my son has not been with him in the last 4 months unless it has been supervised by myself or his mother. I would never let my son be put in that situation if I had control over it.

Answer 1

Thanks for updating your question. Do you think his mother would be willing to either appear in court or do a notarised statement of facts under penalty of perjury attesting that everything you are alleging is true? That would hold some weight with any Judge. If you tackle each allegation separately I would say that the allegation of drug dealing is the most serious in terms of proving unfitness as a parent. Try to obtain as much documentation as you can regarding this issue. You don't say if he uses drugs or not but assuming that he does when you go into court make the allegation in front of the Judge and tell the Judge that you want the court to order drug testing on your ex to substantiate the allegation and throw in (VERY IMPORTANT), quite humbly, that you're willing to submit yourself for testing as well to be fair. That worked in my case as well. The living environment is also key to proving your case to the Judge. Is there anyone at all who is living in the same house as him who can write a statement verifying that? Let the Judge know he doesn't even rent a bedroom in which the child could visit in a half-way decent surrounding. Lastly, let the Judge know about his license situation in court. The Judge should have the necessary computer programs available in court to check the status of his license while you're standing right there. The court won't be extremely interested in the situation with his other children as they're not a part of your case and unless you have some documentation from the mothers of those children bringing this issue up in court will only muddy the water. What the court will care about is his interest and fitness as a parent in relation to YOUR child. Also, may do you well to contact child protective services to report him for sexual relations with a minor if you have the girl's address, name, etc. If that can be substantiated it will go a long way to proving unfitness. As your son is currently living with you the likelihood is that the court is not going to remove him from your care as long as you can prove to the court that your environment is best for him.

Also, last bit of advice I can give you or anybody if you are representing yourself in court is when you are filing a petition OR answering a petition is to write out ON the court documents/declaration EVERYTHING you want the Judge to know. Before the Judge comes out to hear the cases they spend all that time prior to reading over the documents submitted in each and every case. If you've included ALL of your concerns/views/evidence etc. in that documentation the Judge is going to know where you stand and you won't forget some important point later on. Doing this also keeps you from getting too emotional or accusatory in front of the Judge and all you have to do is sit back and answer any questions the Judge may have for you. I've seen too many people mess up in court representing themselves because they think it's better to tell the Judge their positions directly. Bad move nearly every time. Good luck to you, sweetheart, and if I can be of any help to you drop me an email.

Answer 2

My ex too was a snake in the grass liar, and I had to defend myself in court for an OFP so to the person that said your a fool for representing yourself in court, I was granted a divorce, the OFP and got full physical custody of both my son's.
Anyway, bring as much proof as you can to court. If he lost his license you can get the court documents because they are a matter of public record, contact CPS and document everything that happens. As to the other mother's he has children with they may or may not help you in getting full custody of your son it's a risk but what child isn't worth taking risks for? Especially your own. Also he has to show proof of his living arrangements for the child and if he's renting space on the floor of living room the court will ask him where does the child sleep. Contact your local Legal Aid if you can't afford a lawyer they are very accommodating.

Answer 3

You have to actually prove he is unfit to care for the child. Does he also do drugs? You can state in court you want him to have mandatory drug testing as well as the fact you will both likely have to take a child care class. If he fails to register and attend he'll be in contempt of court and his chances of getting the child will lessen with every wrong turn he makes. If you can prove he doesn't have suitable living arrangements they will not let the boy stay there overnight. If he doesn't pay support he also has no visitation rights. Get a decent lawyer and get as much evidence against him as you can. Also keep your nose clean as well. If you have a stable job and are providing the sole support for your son the courts should look in your favor. Good Luck and I hope the best for you.

Answer 4

The court doesn't care about what you know; a judge only cares about what you can prove. If you want full custody of your children you'll have to prove all the things you've listed above. That means witness testimony and documentary evidence from the DMV to show that he has no license, no registration, etc. If you can prove all of the things you have listed here, I'm 99% sure the judge will grant you custody.

Answer 5

1) Get a good lawyer. First and foremost, you need one. The man that defends himself in court has a fool for a client.

2) Fight the lies with the truth, and prove it. Show that he lost his license. Get proof of his living arrangements. Get the parents of the other kids to testify that he doesn't visit or support.

3) Raise your standards. What are you doing living with this loser? YOU need to do better to be a good parent for your son. If the judge sees that you associate with this kind of person, how will he/she know that you're a fit parent to have custody. You can get mad at me and report me if you want, or you can listen to what I say and shape up, for the sake of your son. It's your choice.

Answer 6

That is a damb good Q....My Fiancee is going to court next month to decide custady over his 3 kids and his ex is a manipulator and a liar but all his friends and DSS and everyone still sides with her and not him so he lost all of his friends becasue of her and she stayed friends with them.

Answer 7

find the other girls who he has kids with and ask them to testify for you, and call the police if you know he is driving without insurance, i'm a little concerned tho that you are letting a man with no insurance or anything drive your son around. If he is dealing drugs report him to the police.

Answer 8

Fight a liar with the truth. Documentation and records that back up your proof are your friend. Documentation can also show that his lies are lies. Good luck!!

Answer 9

Like the others said just bring proof of what you are saying and anything that can disprove what he is lying about.

Answer 10

just be truthful, tell it as it is don't know how old your boy is but the more info you can gather, the more proof you have the better.

If he's as bad as you say they'll see it, relax you'll be fine.