What is your opinion on spanking a child?

Question

Obviously when I say spanking I don't mean hitting them in the face, or something so hard it leaves marks.

Answer 1

I didn't believe in it and still don't, but I used it occasionally. The first woman is right that timeout doesn't work--if "time-in" isn't fun and desirable. Lots of parents use timeout, but still nag and b***h when the kid is out. You have to be fun or, at least, warm or your child won't think that your absence is a bad thing.

Often it will stop the behavior temporarily so you can regroup to teach the child what to do. The purpose of discipline is to teach the child what to do and how to decide what to do when a hard-and-fast rule, like "Wash your hands after the potty" isn't around.

My kids were grown before one of them told me the worst punishment was having me say, "I don't know what I'm going to do about that." He said the anxiety of waiting was worse than anything.

BTW, beware of having standard punishments for the same, frequent offense. Then the child just decides to "do the crime and do the time" figuring it's worth it. If he/she doesn't know what the punishment might be, that reasoning can't occur.

Answer 2

Well as a father of 3 I find no issue with spanking a child. However there must be an explanation and education of what was the wrong doing, why it was wrong, what was the impact, and why it cant happen again. It is very similar to corrective action in business, with checking for understanding. My oldest 2 are girls, (9 and 6) and though I believe that spanking is OK, they each have only been spanked twice (yes I am a softy). I try to educate them more than punish them, after all they are kids, their mistakes are from learning (whether it be a consequence, or testing limits, it is all learning). So instead of beating them, putting them in time out, I try to change their point of view that caused the "mistake". But this is all based on my parenting skills and communication skills, some parent try this and don't spank, yet you see them throwing fits in Walmart, or cant act good in public. These parent should lean towards spanking to compensate their lack of communication and accountability. The littlest is only 16 months old, so he isn't even counted because obviously he gets no spankings.

Answer 3

These are all good answers and I agree, sometimes when a child is being completely disrespectful a well placed smack on the bottom can and does grab their attention. However the word discipline means to teach. I'm not lobbying for the non spanker's but, I do think that timeouts when done correctly do work. For instance when my boys were younger ages 1-4 depending on the offense I would have them stand in front of me looking directly at me for how ever many min of age, after the time out I would talk to them about it and make sure they understood that the behavior was not acceptable. Children will test everything, including your ablity to stay consistant.
As they got older 4-7 I'd have them do a variety of timeouts either cleaning toys or sitting on a chair not allowing them to play with anything, again dependent on the offense. Now that they are 11 and 8 they have to do what my husband calls military timeouts, they have to stand holding their arms out not allowing them to drop and they know if they drop the arms the timeout starts over again. My views I hate to have to resort to spanking but we do only when absolutely necessary have we smacked a butt or two as well as a few hands.
I would rather be told I'm too strict with my son's than have them turning out like the children who have no parental supervision. They are my gifts, and when they get older I hope they bring something more to this world.
Blessed be

Answer 4

I think when children are too small to be reasoned with, spanking is ok. By spanking, I mean on the butt, and just enough to "startle" them. I feel though that when they get old enough that you can talk to them, and explain what they did was wrong, time out is more efficient. Spanking at the older age is no big deal... they get spanked, get over it and move on. Put them in time out for 15 minutes, or take something away from them, and the consequence lasts much longer. Then explain to them what they did was wrong, and what will happen next time if they do it again. Just my opinion though.

Answer 5

Spanking is a fine line between abuse for some people. That said, I have swatted my child when normal means of discipline do not work. By swat I mean once on their bum and a "hey! behave!'" and then they know.

Spanking is not abuse and too many people take it that way. Abuse is vindictive, and done out of anger. Spanking if it's not abuse should not be done in those ways.

Answer 6

How it is done is the issue. when i was growing up my mom would give us so many chances to change our behavior then she would just snap!
So when i had kids i said no way am i ever going to spank my kids!
And then my second baby came, and i started to get mad at my oldest son for not listening to me, and then i found myself lossing it too! I started to spank him! But he was not learning anything, he was scared.
That day i decided i would only give him one chance
and then it was a spanking
its been two years now and i have three kids
i have not yelled or put down my kids in two years
my kids know that they are loved, and they want to please me because when mom is happy everyones happy.

Bottom line if you spank because youve "HAD ENOUGH"
you arenot spanking your are abousing
If you spank because "Mommy asked you not to do that and you need to do as your told" You are training your child to respect people and be safe.
There does not need to be a big lecture about the situation, just get on with the day and be joyfull.

Answer 7

A spanking question, wow, something new on Yahoo Answers...

A spanking, a swat or two on the bottom, is acceptable. As long as it's not done in anger/frustration, there really isn't anything wrong with it. It would be different if the parent/s beat their children, that would be abusive.

Answer 8

Well, they have to be disciplined. I raised to boys that are now teenagers and I had to spank them to show them I was in charge since I became divorced and single. Boys seem to listen to the voice of their father more. But it really only lasted for a few years until they knew I was boss. Now I am rasing a 2 year old girl and pregnant with another. Girls are so much more different than boys. I guess I learned early in life and have experience with the baby now because I have popped her bottom a couple of times and now I am just very stern with her and she already knows who's boss, of course when daddy isn't around. Women have to be more stern with the children because for some reason they just seem to obey daddy more.

As far as spanking. I can't stand to see someone lay their hands on their children in a wrong manner. You should never spank them hard enough to leave a mark or you are doing something way wrong. Jennifer

Answer 9

spare the rod spoil the child worked for hundreds of years...since that old saying has become frowned upon it seems that kids are a lot more unruly these days. I know people who have great kids who were never spanked but I don't see anything wrong with a little "tough love" sometimes all you need is a little attention getter, a pop on the hand...its not the type of disipline as long as you are consistant and stick to your punishments. spanking is a faster way than grounding. but the punishment should fit the crime. depending on the age of your child time-out could work too, its a minute of time out for each year of your childs age.

Answer 10

I think spanking is perfectly fine. As long as it is not done out of anger, leaves no marks, and never crosses the line of abuse. Also, I believe it should only be done on the bottom with a hand or a belt.

We have learned that spanking does absolutely no good with my son...so we only do it now as punishment for severe misbehavior.