Grandchildren as Pawns??

Question

Should a single mother who acts like a brat, use her daughter as a pawn to get her way? Because that's the only way to get to me and she knows it?Every time she gets mad at me, she wont let my grandaughter come back to my house, this is the 2nd time. Telling her that I'm mean, and putting bad things into her head about me. When she was pregnant, and her father slapped her around, it was me she called to come live with, My husband and I kept her up the whole 9 months, never ask her for a dime, gave her a baby shower, let her and the baby stay until she could find a job after losing hers due to plant closing, we bought everything that they needed, even put her on our phone plan after she got a job, pays as long as she isn't mad, she's 5 months behind on it, I cut it off, got cussed out, and told me now I can't see my Grandaughter until I turn the phone back on, my husband and I have helped her many times, and this is the ungreatful appreciation we get. This is the 2nd time in the 4 yrs

No the phone is still off, and she called me and said she needed it for her daughter incase she got hurt, I told her she could still call 911 on it and wasn't coming back on, she promised my husband she would pay a certain amount on a certain and didn't, oh course we didn't expect her too. Now since I ask a question on here about hep c for a friends husband to find out info about it( cause they don't have a computer) she's going around telling everybody my husband has hep c, you wouldn't believe the phone calls and emails we get asking him about it. What will she do next????

Answer 1

Well i honostly would LOVE a mother like you.
No offense to my parents, they do the best they can, but you sound like youve helped her out so much, in her time of need, she doesnt appreciate it anymore, she probably just expects you to be this nice and helpful, its just in her mind now, that she deserves all this just because your her mother. When in reality, even tho all mothers love thier daughters, they are not obligated to do some of the things you have. She sounds like a spoiled brat and should be thankful you didnt Put her out on the street when she lost her job. Its not right for her to put your grandchild in the middle of this, but thats probably the only thing she knows she can do to get to you.

I wouldnt give in and pay her phone bill
she ovbously is old enough to have a child
and she should learn how to take care of herself
and realize what good help she has around her
You sound like a great mother and person in general. hope it all works out! ♥

Answer 2

Of course she shouldn't.

Did you turn the phone back on? Did you cave every single time? I know you are doing it all to be involved in your grandaughter's life.

But your daughter will not stop using you until she "gets" the fact that you refuse to be a doormat.

It may be painful in the short run, but it's the only way to get thru to some people.

Answer 3

The only reason she is using the grandchild as a pawn is because she can. Eventually, she will get over it and stop doing that but alas, you likely won't see your grandaughter until then. You've done a lot, but I think she needs to grow up and figure it out on her own.

Answer 4

i had this happen to me and i still do i have 4 sons and the oldest son its the wife actually which does this. anyhw her oldest son is 14 i don't know him and shes 4 kids they are hardly knowing us cause of that type of crap. well i tell yu and they are spoiled and mean also. so i have nearly quit with them so i have 3 other sons and the same thing when they dont' like what i have said or done. like bad person you are. bad bad bad well i dont' know any of my grandkids very well and guess what afeter awhile you get tired of it. so i am done with it tough love or whatever you call it be long time before we ever deal with them again. yu have ot have a live and live it and therefore you can't live their lives for them if they do that well then so be it its their lose not yours so just move on i have done that. sorry take care.

Answer 5

That is horrible! I feel bad for those kids and can't imagine the things their mother is putting into their impressionable heads. I don't think children should ever be put in the middle of adult disputes. I hope the mom realizes what she is doing to her kids - before it is too late.

Answer 6

She's not going to straighten out until she falls on her face. Of course you don't want your children and grandchildren to be hurt, but sometimes it's the only way. When she learns how hard that money is to come by, she'll appreciate what you've done for her.

Answer 7

Your daughter is using your grandchild to emotionally and financially blackmail you! I know you love your granddaughter, but you cannot cave in to your daughter's selfish demands. As much as it hurts, temporarily cut all ties with your daughter and eventually she will come around to you when she realizes that she can no longer blackmail you. She needs you way more than you know! Hang tough and things will go your way!

Answer 8

It is so sad that people can be so ungrateful. Shame on her for using your precious grandchild that way.
Now it is time for YOU to stop enabling her or she will never learn. It is hard to see your own children suffer, whether they are grown or not, but she will never learn if you keep bailing her out. She needs to fall and not have you there to pick her up. It may be hard but it is the only way she will learn.

Answer 9

You spoiled her already just let her fare for herself for a while . It won't take long before she gets over it.