Should I be offended???

Question

I was shopping for my moms B-Day present at Macy's. I was at the perfume counter smelling Vera Wang, Chanel, etc. The sales lady (Caucasian) asked if she could help me..I replied, "No not at this moment...Thank you!"

I turned my head and when I looked back she was still looking at me smiling. I smiled back...and she said we have sets of Mariah Carey, Sean John, and Usher cologne and perfume.

I mean just because I'm a minority I have to like urban things. I was offended and pissed off. I don't even wear that. I waited to see if any other "non-minority" customers came over to see if the sales associate would tell them the same thing. But no one didn't..so I left the store.

Should I be offended or am I over reacting?

Answer 1

I think I would have been a bit offended too. She generalized that because you are a person of color, you would be interested. Do you think those artists scents would have rolled off her tongue if your skin tone was a different shade? not!

You should have played dumb and said, "Who are they?"

Answer 2

You're overreacting. I think it's just that you look so young, not old enough to be in the typical price-range of the more-expensive brands. That, and maybe she had had a lot of 'kids' up there that day looking for the urban brands.

Maybe she didn't offer Paris Hilton's or Britney Spears' fragrance, but those are rich kids selling tap water from their rich faucet; Mariah Carey, P. Diddy ... those are people who have been through the funk (and thus know better how to get out of it)!

So they're both "altra-cultural" ... if I'm taking basketball-lessons (or whatever), I wouldn't go to Larry Bird (instead of Michael Jordan) because he's white!

Answer 3

Well, she probably meant no harm, but she is obviously ignorant in some ways & a bit "socially retarded". You have every right to be offeneded-however,why waste your time with it? this silly sales gal is going to go on peddling her cheesy scents & making $10 a hour- you can stay, find yourself and excellent perfume ( with another sales person ) and leave satisfied-that way you show class & understanding- there are a lot of goofy folks out there- dont ruin your day over these goofs!

If it is still upsetting you, I would wait till you are calm, cool and collected, then call, or better yet, write to Macys & share your disapointment~class all the way :o)...ps- you should try Chanel No.5- its a classic-my Mom & grandmother love it...and that pretty bottle!

Answer 4

I think she was trying to be helpful. However misguided she was, I think her heart was in the right place.

She is trying to sell perfume to a total stranger. The only thing she can know about you from looking at you is that you are a minority. Here she has some perfumes that are made by minorities and marketed to minorities.

I am not sure if she would have offered the same selection to me as white girl. But, I don't think it is necessarily prejudiced. I think she would assume that I would not be familiar with Usher and Sean Jean (not a terrible assumption to make considering she doesn't know me).

Markeing 101 tells you people will normally buy something if it is attached to a familiar name.

Overreacting a little bit, but I do think it is good to talk about this stuff. Sometimes these biases are soooo subtle that we don't even recognize them as biases until someone points them out.

Answer 5

You have every right to be offended.

The people who are giving this ignorant woman the excuse of "maybe she was looking at your age and not race" are forgetting something. If she were looking at the askers age, why not push Britney Spear's fragrance, or the Olsen twins or Paris Hilton, or some other fragrance made by a white young person? (I don't know if these people even have fragrances besides Spears, I'm just using it as an example.)

Fact of the matter is she chose scents by BLACK people not YOUNG people so that clearly shows that she was thinking about race. Stop making excuses for this ignorant saleswoman!

I'm with the person who suggested that the next time that happenes, go "Who in the world are they?"

Answer 6

Well, her comment does sound racially slanted, but to be fair, she could have been angling towards your youth instead. She may have thought you'd be interested in perfumes by popular artists and entertainers because you're young and trendy.
While it would be unfair of her to assume that you'd want merchandise from people who share your race, perhaps it is a trend she's noticed - perhaps most of her minority clients tend to prefer merchandise by celebrities who represent their race, and she was simply trying to appeal to what she thought you might like.

So yeah, you might have good cause to be offended, but it's really a question of how you want to live your life - do you want to be constantly on guard against every example of racism, or do you want to give people the benefit of the doubt? I've found it's much less stressful and aggravating to simple give people the benefit of the doubt and walk away from the situation.

Answer 7

A little, but not to the point where you dwell on it. She was ignorant, and you can't change that.

Ive had people judge me (I'm Mostly Irish, but am part Native American, so I'm told I look exotic...whatever the hell that is supposed to mean) and are way off. Dependong on the context I figure they don't know me, so they go by stereotypes, though 99%of the time they are DEAD wrong.

If you get the opportunity to run into her or the same situation, simply ask (but try to be nice) why they think you prefer that particular brand over another. Usually they will be speechless and leave you alone.

Answer 8

I don't think your over reacting....in fact you were more at ease then I would have been.....this may sound ignorant but I think ....that mostly minorities can truly understand where your coming from......for the simple fact that they have experienced that same sort of thing......until something like that has happen to you or to someone you care for ...I honestly believe you can't know how that feels.....sorry that had to happen to you....hopefully that experience wont prevent you from shopping at that particular store with out you having that scenario in your mind every time you go there..

Answer 9

Yes, you have every right to be offended. I think you should write to the manager of the store -- list the date and time this happened, and strongly urge the manager to require this salesperson to receive additional training. State that it is inappropriate to assume that a person makes decisions about perfume or ANY product based on his or her color. It's too late now (I never think quickly on my feet, either) but if anything like this happens again you could wait about a 5-second beat of silence then say to the person coldly but politely: "It is not appropriate to assume that I would buy Usher cologne because I am (whatever your ethnicity is)."

Good luck, and write that letter!

Answer 10

Oh my goodness, no no no!! You shouldn't be offended! She was simply trying to sell her products. The cologne/perfume was probably all right there beside each other but you didn't notice because you don't wear it. The sales lady may have noticed that you passed it and was wondering if you'd like to try it. Or perhaps she was new and simply thought she was being helpful without realizing what she was saying. I'm sure she wasn't trying to make any racial slurs against you! I'm certainly sorry you got offended but I'm sure it was nothing intentional.

=D

Answer 11

No more offended than a teen would be at being offered youthful styles in clothing or an older lady at being offered styles favored by other ladies in her age group. I seriously doubt that it was the clerk's intention to reduce you to a cultural stereotype. Don't ever take offence unless you have double checked to be sure that offence was intended.