My partner and I have so many friends and family. We were having a discussion about who we wanted in our bridal/groom party. Traditionally ( or the norm) are people that are married or with children NOT asked to be apart of a wedding Party?
Also, are there other traditional rules I could follow to help minimize the amount of people I have in my wedding? --such as age.....
what age is too old or too young for a bridesmaid or groomsman?
Help
2007-09-06 07:05:49 · 19 answers · asked by Belle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, I did once see in an etiquette manual that it's required for the bridesmaids to be both unmarried and younger than the bride...but the date on the book was 1893.
In 1993, I had five bridesmaids. The only unmarried one was twelve years old. One bridesmaid was pregnant.
The tradition as practiced today is for the bride and groom to ask those closest to them to stand at their sides, family or not, married or not, same or opposite sex, etc.
Don't look for 'rules' about this. Any you find will be so outdated that using them as an excuse will look like just that: an excuse.
Sit down with your intended and discuss how many attendants you wish to have and how many you consider too many. Then each of you pick the number of people you've decided upon, and you'll have your wedding party.
Once you've decided, ask the relevant people making no apologies. Sure, there may be a few disappointed people, but being a bridesmaid or a groomsman isn't the only way they can be part of the day. Ask a couple of those other folk to do readings, light candles, pass out programs, etc.
But really, most of your friends and family members will survive the disappointment just fine and be happy for you, even if you don't pick them.
2007-09-06 07:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by gileswench 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
In the last bridla party I was in, everyone ecept the bride and groom were married. Its not a tradition to exclude people based on marital status or whether or not they have children.
Usually brdesmaids and groomsmen are over the age of 14, jr bridesmaids and groomsmen are aged 11-14, anything younger would be considered a flower girl or ring bearer. There is no age that is too old though.
The general rule of how many attendants is 1 per side for each 50 guests. So if you are having 100 people, 2 or 3 is enough. You want to guage the amount of attendants to your guest list amount. If you are having 50 people you dont want 5 attendants on each side, the guests will be dwarfed by the size of the bridal party, so keep that in mind.
2007-09-06 07:43:25 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no "tradition" that I know of that excludes married people being part of a wedding party. Not sure where you got that information. A married lady would be called Matron of honor and not Maid of honor, but that is the only distinction made. Anyone else, male or female, is considered an attendant.
I have seen small children in bridal parties, but sometimes they are too young to understand and can be overwhelmed by all the things expected of them.
The main purpose of the bridal party is to support the new couple both before and after their marriage. Choose people in your party who you feel will be able to perform that duty. Don't be so concerned with numbers and if sides are even, choose people who are important in your life to be your attendants.
2007-09-06 07:24:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. Those that are pregnant, consider when they are due, make sure they can wear comfortable clothes and shoes, but let them make that decision of whether to be in your wedding or not. Just ask.
As for the married ones...have you heard of a Matron of Honor. Even the groom's dad could be the best man.
Age...anyone under 4 is too young. Unless you are going to have someone push a stroller or baby carriage or wagon down the isle...forget it.
Age...anyone able to walk without a walker, is fair game.
If you are going to have a married couple with kids in the wedding, provide them with a babysitter if you do not want the kids at the wedding.
You can have a few as two people (best man and maid/matron of honor) or as many. Quite frankly, more than 3 on each side starts to get ridiculous....remember you have to get each one a gift, you should help pay for their expenses getting to your wedding and you have to feed them during the whole process from the rehearsal dinner to the reception.
If money is not an object, then make sure you pay for their clothes, shoes and hair styling costs.
Tradition is that you have people that are close to you, they are special not just filler for a wedding party.
Good luck!
2007-09-06 07:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Mom of 2 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There are no set rules for your bridal party. The bridal party is made up of the people you are closest with and want to share your special day with. You make the decisions on who is and who is not in your bridal party. When I got married, it had my sister, sister-in-law and best friend in my party - that's it. I kept it simple and hassle free. I have been in a couple weddings since and I can say that the wedding that had the little kids (ages 4-7) was very stressful. You have to not only get the kids to know what to do, but you have to entertain them while they are waiting for the wedding to start - this could be a hassle. Ultimately, it is your decision. Check out this website that I found for soon to be brides. It may have the answers you need.
http://www.weddingplanning.co.nz/weddings/section18.aspx
2007-09-06 07:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to exclude someone from your wedding party if she is pregnant or if someone has children. You should be choosing individuals whom you and your fiance are very close with - or whom you consider very close family. The actual bridal party should be 16 and older. Anyone between 10-16 can be a junior bridesmaid or groomsman. Ring bearers and flower girls should be between 1-6 years old.
2007-09-07 00:26:31 · answer #6 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recently was a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding. She had much of the same problem. Go with who you really would WANT to be by your side on your big day! Marriage and pregnancy are not factors. She had 8 bridesmaids, and he had 8 groomsmen (plus a ring bearer). Most of the wedding party was married, one of the bridesmaids was pregnant (due in a week from the wedding itself). Pick the people YOU truly feel comfortable with. Also, three of the bridesmaids and two of the groomsmen were under the age of 19. It doesn't matter.
2007-09-06 07:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by XxKatiexX 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding?!?!? Of course they aren't excluded. With most people not getting married until their late 20's and 30's these days of course most of their friends and family will be married and have kids. It's not 1960 anymore. When my brother-in-law got married at age 38 they had bridesmaids ranging in age from 18 to 45. I was a bridesmaid while I was pregnant a few years ago.
2007-09-06 07:14:58 · answer #8 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
There are no set rules on married, unmarried, children, no children, or age except for bridesmaids. You pick the people who you are the closest to to stand with you during the ceremony. I've seen people use their parents as bridesmaids/groomsmen. Bridesmaids who are 8-16 should be junior bridesmaids and younger than 8 would be the ages for flower girls.
Congrats on your upcoming nuptials.
2007-09-06 07:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
In our wedding two of the three bridesmaid's were married and one was pregnant!
One of the groomsmen was married (and his wife was pregnant)
It is your wedding to hell with tradition do what YOU want!
I have also seen parents as groomsmen and bridesmaid's!
SO age doesn't matter as long as they can walk (or be assisted) down the isle!
If you want lower numbers in the wedding party DO IT! You don't need a reason!
2007-09-06 07:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋