My child has been in daycare for almost a year and he still cries every morning. Does anyone else have this?

Question

He cries "bloody murder" every morning. It rips my heart out, but they say about 5 minutes after I leave, he is fine for the rest of the day. Anyone have any solutions or similar experiences?

Answer 1

My stepdaughter went through the same thing. It's just seperation anxiety. She was close to 2 before she finally stopped. I felt so bad, but same thing, the sitter said she'd quit soon after I left. I just made sure I said goodbye (never sneak out, or the problem will actually be worse), and we kind of made a routine. She loved to eat and always ate right after she got there, so we would get in the highchair and start her eating. She usually would still get upset, but yet was a little calmer and at the same time, she wasn't able to cling to me for dear life, so I could leave. It just suddenly stopped and she was fine again. Now she just hugs and kisses me and goes off to playing. I'm hoping my son doesn't go through the same thing, because it is hard. Just hang in there, they will outgrow it.
I know the sitter was/is fine as my 5 yr old stepdaughter would have said something, plus the stepdaughter in question now loves it there and has no problem with the place.

Answer 2

My first question is how long do you stick around in the morning? If you make your departure quickly after getting there, it should of eased up by now.
You just never know why he's still crying, I've done daycare for over 5 years in a center. Are other kids like this too that have been going there for a year? If you notice that other kids are crying long after the other parents leave, then it's time to start doing drop by's. Just see how the teacher is speaking to the kids, and do a few at different times of the day because different people work at different times.

Answer 3

I wish their were a magic answer to this one, but there is not!!

Our child literally cried for two years almost every day - she just had a hard time leaving us in the morning ( or wanted us to think so because the tears stopped less than five minutes afterwards) and I tried everything! We tried diffrent sepeartion techniques, leabing quickly, staying, giving her an object to hold, passing her to a daycare provider to hold, giving her a role in the room of being the one to read the calendar during circle time... We even switched providers- same thing happene she cried! ANd then finally one day- she grew out of it.... I can't even remember when or why...

The biggest point is that you are not alone! And, yes, it is one of the hardest things to do- You are not the worlds worst parent for leaving in the am, etc.. BUT- Do trust your instincts- If you think there is a chance that your child is crying for a reason- then check it out- most times your instincts are correct!

Just call after you leave to give yourself some peace of mind.. that's what I did - once I knew that she was fine- I could go on with my day...

Good Luck!!

Answer 4

Honestly after a year I would think of switching. That is normal for a few months but after that the child should be adjusted.

My mom ran a daycare and it was true that the kids stopped 5 minutes after they left, but I do not ever remember a child doing it for a year and she ran a daycare for 10 years.

If it was me I would try another place and see how he does.

The best way to find a good day care is word of mouth, ask other moms. The town I live in has a place called "Catholic Family Services" the daycare people are not always Catholic and you do not have to be, they are simply a service to help families find what they need.

Answer 5

When he cries do you stay just a little longer? If you do then that is why he cries. You should try to get into a groove, take him in, give him one kiss and one hug and then leave...no ifs ands or buts. You can leave the talking to the teacher for after school or write her a note and ask her to call youwhen she gets a chance.
Is the teacher always the same? Are you sure that the teacher and your son get along, after a year they should have formed a pretty strong bond.

If things don't change then you should think about switching. I am a daycare provider and most of the time this is something that is easily solved...but occasionally it's pointing to a problem that can only be solved by changing.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Not exactly the same thing, but I know my daughter (who is now in preschool) is happy at school yet still in the morning she often cries and doesn't want to go. She is not really a morning person, I've figured out, and is cranky when she first wakes up. She is fine by the time she gets to school, although still acts grumpy a lot of the time when I drop her off. I wonder if your son is similar and maybe he needs to get a little more sleep. I know it can be hard to adjust the sleep schedule, but maybe 1/2 hour earlier in bed or even 1 hour earlier might allow him to wake up rested and more in control emotionally.

I'm sure you have already done this, but I'd also suggest you talk to him about his feelings at a time when he's not upset, and try to identify what makes him not want to go. It is possible he might be happier at a different daycare, even if he can't explain what exactly he dislikes about the one he's at. On the other hand, it could just be that he's tired in the mornings.

Answer 7

I would seriously look into switching. My daughter did the same thing until we switched to a new place, and then with in 2 days she stoped. Talk to the teachers and ask how he is the rest of the day, make sure you emphasize you want honesty. For the longest time the teachers were just telling us what they thought we wanted to hear, but they finally said she never smiled, never talked and just didn't seem happy.

Sometimes there cries are just seperation anexity others times it is there way of trying to tell you something. You just need to do a little probing to figure it out.

Answer 8

I usually stay and play with my son before I leave (I'm not really recommending this, some kids don't respond well to that) and I have actually SEEN this happen. It is amazing. My son hardly ever cries (I'm very lucky) and he goes to an excellent center so I know these children are well cared for. Mom or dad drops them off, the screaming starts, by the time the parent drives away, the child is playing. Amazing.
BTW, I call it "school" to my son, never day care. e gets excited about going to school. Some mornings he rushes me to leave so he can go play with his classmates.

Answer 9

I know what you are going threw. My daughter was the same way when she started going to daycare and i cryed every morning because she was crying. So about after a week of it i went to my mother and asked her if i was the same way. She told me that she would get me all excited and tell me that i was going to daycare and i would get to play all day and watch movies and see all of my new friends. You could also try what i did. I told my daughter if we went to day care and she didnt cry then when i would come and get her and she didnt cry for me when it was time to leave then i would take her to buy a special treat or she could get icecream after words. It worked for me but its really worth a try.
Good luck and i know that its really hard to see your child kick and scream for you and it really breaks your heart but you know that they are safe and they will be fine.

Answer 10

How old? My daughter has been in daycare since she was 2 but started to do this around 4 yrs old. It turned out that the daycare moved around the teachers & she did not like the one they gave her. (not sure why) We moved away shortly after & she was fine in her new daycare.