OK, here is my delema, When I got married 2 years ago, my maid of honor said she had a card (with money in it) and that she had also ordered a special throw blanket, that I wanted, with our names and wedding date on it as a gift. Well, I never saw either gift. Not even an empty card. She claimed the card was lost and tried to say someone must have stolen it. I also have no clue what happened with the blanket she so called ordered for me. Now, she is getting married and I was supposed to be in her wedding but for one reason or another I am not in the wedding. Not by my choice, I was actually hurt when I found out I was not in the wedding. I was invited but I am not in the wedding party. So what do I do for her gift? Do I give her one, do I give her nothing, do I give a gift but not a money gift? I am so torn. Please help.
2007-09-06 06:20:50 · 7 answers · asked by Melissa C 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Your friend doesn't sound like much of a friend. You were invited to the wedding however, and you should not be as boorish as she was. Buy her a gift, a very modest gift, and be done with it.
2007-09-06 06:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by dawnb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to attend the wedding then you should give a gift. If she is registered then select something off of her list and she should be happy. If you would prefer a monetary gift give her a check or money order. There will be no way for her to say she did not get it and you will know for sure if it's cashed (if you care).
Take the high road. She may have actually been in deep financial woes at the time of your wedding and was too ashamed to tell you. Friendships can change over the years and maybe she does not feel close enough to you anymore. So be it. You're happy with your life, wish her well and move on. If you're meant to be friends you will be.
2007-09-06 07:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by tetlitea 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. She is obviously not your real friend -- she is a broke fraud. I know people on here are going to tell you to still give her something because it is the right thing to do -- bump that. If she was real with you, she would have said that she didnt have any money to buy you the gift when your wedding came around. And to think that after she was your maid of honor, she couldnt even have you in her wedding as a hostess or help with the planning. She is not your friend. So it wont look too bad, give her a card, maybe find an old gift in your house that you never opened and wrap it. Dont stress her.
2007-09-06 06:50:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a sticky situation. I would go and I would give her a card with enough money to cover your dinner plates. I don't think now is the time to make a statement about your wedding. I know it's incredibly frustrating, but as your maid of honor she probably put in a lot of time and even more money into your wedding. I think a lot of brides over look that aspect. As I'm sure you know, being in a wedding isn't cheap. If she skimped out on a lot of the planning and expense leading up to your wedding, that's a different story. If she was a decent maid of honor, I think you should let it go and move on. If you feel very strongly about this, talk to her about it or move on from the friendship.
2007-09-06 06:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by Not quite perfect 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know only too well how torn you are. I think we may have the same friend.......Getting even, so to speak, with people like her doesn't accomplish anything, so the best thing you can do for her, and yourself, is to treat this wedding like any other that you would attend and take a gift that is within your affordable price range, smile, and wish the happy couple well. Your conscience will be clear (even though your feelings were hurt) and she can continue living her life being the type of friend she is. She will meet her match in the "bad friend" department someday and will get what she has coming.
2007-09-06 06:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by EvilWoman0913 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she was your maid of honor only two years ago and she didn't even include you in her wedding party, i'd say your friendship -- if it existed at all -- has deteriorated to the point of no return.
conventional etiquette says that if you are invited to a wedding, you bring a gift. personally, i think she treated you so shabbily that you should throw etiquette out the window and give her nothing. but if you DO give her a gift, make it a throw blanket just like the one she "ordered" for you, with the names and wedding date. that would certainly send the message! (or better yet, give her a blanket with YOUR name and wedding date on it, ha ha!).
2007-09-06 06:36:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
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2016-10-19 22:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋