Ok, here's the deal...I started talking to this guy abt a month ago and we hit it off..everyday for the last month we stayed on the phone for hours and hours...so we both agreed that we were going to pursue something...ok, i visited him this past weekend and we slept together and now it seems he has withdrawn...he can no longer stay on the phone cos he's to "tired" and he was supposed to visit me this weekend, but he just sent me a text saying that he has to work...I guess I shd be smart enough to read b/w the lines but I just wanted to get other people's thoughts...shd i confront him on his suddenly weird behavior or should I just let it be...I must admit that it really hurts b/cos this is the first time in 4 years that i have genuinely liked someone and opened up again...I feel like crap and a bit stupid....
2007-09-06 05:17:34 · 29 answers · asked by Anya 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would just ask him "whats going on, do you want to continue or are we done?" Just dont stay in something if you dont feel its right...trust your instincts you will know if that was the only reason he was talking to you in the first place.
They say its best to wait 6months to marriage before having sex that way you know the guy/girl isnt just interested in pursuing you for sex...and it gives you enough time to realize without blinders whether you want to be with them or not.
2007-09-06 05:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by kakeydec 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry sweetie. But this is the way guys are. They'll do and say anything and act all great, until u give them what they want. No pressure or anything, because they know girls want it too, and can tell a girl who'll wait, from a girl who won't. They know how much time they need to put in before they get what thaey want. And usually if a guy gets what he wants too soon, he feels that there's nothing to base a relationship on, and lets go. Not all guys are this way, but most are. This is y girls are so jaded nowadays...w/o even dating. But in answer to ur question...yeah, let him go. It's his loss! Ur a great person, and just thought sex would make everything sweeter. HE probably dosen't feel guilty either, because he didn't lie, cheat or steal. He was probably genuine to u about his feelings and the way he waS. HE did get to know u, and like u...in his mind he didn't take advantage(especially if u brought it up), but after the fact, he felt that ther fire he had for u before was gone..but he didn't want to hurt u by breaking it off, so he's leaVing that for u to do. He gets off free this way. Yeah, guys are jerks, but that's the way they think. They think they're nice because they don;t like to see us cry, but making us cry is ok...because in their mind, they didn't mean to. U can find a better class of man thugh, know that. Next time, wait atleast six months, and see where that gets u with the guy. Just a thought.
2007-09-06 05:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't feel stupid he's an asshole...some guys are artist at getting a girl to like/love them and sleeping with them...just think about if he did that every month he would have slept with 12 woman...which to his friends makes him king!! Find you a guy that's all about you and hold out until you completely feel comfortable with opening up again. Always make sure your comfort level is where it needs to be, sometimes you can't follow your heart because people will toy with it. Leave his a** alone, and try being by yourself again...oh yeah, and don't let people know how you feel about them too early because that can be used against you to.
2007-09-06 05:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by koalalove86 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey, maybe things did go a bit fast. I personally don't believe you can have a real "connection" if the majority of your time spent talking with him was on the phone. My girlfriend and I went out constantly for over 2 months before we actually took the next step. Maybe next time you should date the person and really feel the chemistry between the two of you before you have sex again. But let this guy go. I can already tell he's a jerk. Find someone else and be more assertive in the relationship next time.
2007-09-06 05:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Lloyd D 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
gee, do we know the same guy? i had the same exact thing happen to me several months ago. i started talking to a guy, talked ever week for long hours, slept with him after a month, then suddenly he wasn't so talkative.
if i were you, confront him. say that you really enjoyed it when the two of you got together but you noticed that he's acting a little different toward you since you two got together. ask what's the deal. if he gives you the same stuff about work, okay, just listen. as they say the proof is in the pudding. so if he doesn't talk long or call you, you know. just stop answering for a while and see what happens.
he could just be a commitment-phobe. the guy i hooked up turned out to be a total player. he did this often and to any girl he could. just be careful, you might not be in the same boat as me though.
good luck!
2007-09-06 05:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by celestial316 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I feeling really sorry but the truth can't be hidden, Every one has to share it's devil , You got your own and u got it because u did not follow mother nature rule. I know this hurts but at least u cannot do this in future. You should weight relationships not by looks and money or any tangible things but instead u should weigh relationships by emotions and sacrifice, by doing so u should get never hurt yourself.
2007-09-06 05:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by Mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart, you need to keep your defenses up a lot longer.
i know you are in pain right now, but if you dont stop doing this to yourself, you will just keep getting hurt.
i dont want this to sound like it is your fault, but men never grow up. you will always have to be the mom. you wouldnt leave a 4 year old alone in room of full of candy would you ? men can not be trusted with something like sex. it is like a steak to a dog. we will bg for it, then devour it. when you are out of steak, we no longer like you.
its not how long you make the guy wait, it how many times you refuse him, and how much you give eaxch time.
after a few dates,kiss him, few more dates, make out, few more dates, oral, few more dates, go all the way, but, dont spend the night. something quick. then after a few months, and after he tries several times to get you into bed, now you can give it up. you cant give him everything on his first try.
men will not pay for something you give for free.
the story about the cow and the free milk is true.
i am very sorry, but move on. you will always be only sex to this guy.
2007-09-06 05:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by Jr. is angry 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would give him a little time and back off. Tell him you were looking forward to seeing him, but that you hope he has a nice weekend and that you plan on doign the same.
Just send a flirty text or something in a few days if you don't hear from him.
If that doesn't work, you may as well be honest and ask him what's up, just be prepared to hear that he may have changed his mind.
Don't beat yourself up over sleeping with him though, if he was a jerk, its better you found out now. :-)
2007-09-06 05:24:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
When you finally got together he got some action and you did too, don't blame the guy like he got what he wanted, you wanted it too.
You just aren't what he really wants so he doesn't want a relationship.
Go over to his place at like 11pm and leave afterward, friend with benefits are still friends, just don't ever expect is to grow into something.
When he meets the one, your friendship will be terminated, just be glad you had a good friend for a while.
2007-09-06 05:25:57 · answer #9 · answered by btceng64 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He could actually be going through some crisis that has nothing to do with you.
I'd confront him, but in a nice way. I wouldn't get in his face, or anything. I'd just tell him, like you told us, and ask him what's going on.
I know there's been times when things get so hectic that I just want to shut down. One of those times for me was 12 hour work days for a few weeks.
Give him a chance to explain, but I wouldn't sit back and let it continue.
2007-09-06 05:23:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋