she doesn't approve cos it contains the word catholic. my fiancee is anglo catholic and thats what the church is. we are trying to convince her the church is a c of e church but she says it has to be a protestant c of e church. my fiancee says protestant is not c of e but mum refuses to believe him. its stressing me out cos i'm caught in the middle. im happy to get married at my fiancees church cos religion-wise i'm actually pagan which mum also won't except. we don't want to have a registry office wedding or arrange a hotel one. im at a total loss on what to do i don't want the stress right now cos i'm expecting a baby soon. is there any way i can convince mum to except thats the church me and my fiancee have chosen and she has to except it without turning it into a family fallout?
2007-09-06 05:14:20 · 40 answers · asked by Phoenix M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She's upset because you are getting married in a church that has the word Catholic, but not happy that you are marrying the father of your baby. Why keep trying to satisfy HER? If she has a problem with it, she'll get over it. Get married where you want. Congratulations on your marriage and new little one.
2007-09-06 05:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on the baby and the engagement!
Is there any family friend thats a priest or would know stuff about the churches to try that your mum would trust to try and try to win her around.
Or try to find some neutral ground, maybe out side somewhere or in a public gazebo, if thats allowed. Im sure you dont want this but have you tried telling your mum that if she continues to argue about it all threaten to have a small wedding abroad, vegas style, maybe that will make her realise if she doesnt stop arguing she will miss your wedding.
Hope it all works out for you!
2007-09-06 05:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by molly8485 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what other people think, it's your special day and what you want should be what you get, speak to your mum and tell her in a polite way that you will have what you want.
It's your wedding day so as long as you and your fiance is there it shouldn't matter who attends apart from that.
If she is being pity then she will lose out in the end.
Don't worry about it, your baby is more important, so take it easy and learn to relax a little more.
2007-09-07 07:32:22 · answer #3 · answered by suziestar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your fiancé are together on this, you need to stand united - even if it sometimes goes against your mom's wishes. Freedom of religion is a core value of this country (if you live in the USA), and while your mother is certainly entitled to make her opinion known, it's out of line for her to impose her wishes on the two of you in such a personal subject as religion. This really is not the time and the place to put you on the spot, and she needs to be mature enough to realize that. You guys are entitled to your choice of venue, no matter what words it contains in the title. Unless you and your fiancé are prepared to bend over backwards to satisfy your mother in every whim, hold your ground; tell her that, with all due respect, both of you are satisfied with the church you chose, and that you don't wish to change it. I don't think it's the first or the last time she will try and make you do as she says - and especially now that you're going to be married and with a family of your own, you have to learn to respectfully stick to your guns.
2007-09-06 05:37:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have just posted a question myself as my daughter is having a church wedding in 6 weeks.
If she had told me it was going to be held at the local sheik temple with a rabbi and priest i would still be 100% behind her.
Tell you Mum its you and your partners decision and that your sticking by it and would love her to stand behind you all the way.
Remember ITS YOUR DAY so be strong
and good luck with the baby
take care and may your god always be with you
2007-09-06 08:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't religion start all wars? It is yours and your fiance's day, no one else. When my husband and i got married we paid for it all ourselves, no one helped therefore we said what happened. My mum kept telling me that I should do this and that, tut tut tut - my answer "mum I really appreciate your comments but this is my wedding and we will do things how we want it" 9 years down the line my mum never mentions anything about the wedding as it was our day - Life goes on and changes all the time, she will just have to get over it!
2007-09-06 05:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell the old biddy to mind her own business. If she is too daft to understand that many C of E churches contain the world "catholic" as meaning universal, then she's not worth worrying about.
Don't give in or it will be the start of her constant interference and control in your married life. It will be a source of contention for the rest of your life ... if your marriage survives her meddling. Not much of a mum what would give her daughter such stress and guff, I'd say.
Don't be caught in the middle. Tell the vicar what is going on. But YOU and YOUR husband-to-be stick together on this one.
Good luck, my dear.
2007-09-06 05:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by Skully 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Would you mother prefer you to marry in the house of God or not at all? Explain in simple terms you have decided where you are to be married and that it means a lot if she will attend the ceremony, in the same breath before she has chance to complain add that if not you will be very dissapointed but understand if she only comes to the reception. I doubt she'd call your bluff but even if she did the marriage is between you and your husband and would still go ahead.
2007-09-06 05:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by megane 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Easy solution - since you're pregnant, just have a quiet simple wedding before the baby is born, so you two can concentrate on becoming parents.
Get married where, and according to the religion your new family will be following.
Blessed be.
2007-09-07 00:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK..... let me help you here.... this is like the most ironic thing or shall I say Deja Vu. Have a look at the question I have been asking the world.
My gf who I was gonna marry broke up with me 3 months ago over a simlar stree situation. Expect, instead of which church and all, it was over which city we could get married in. I kept supporting my family cause they made me feel guilty over how they were approving of the marriage that they really didn;t approve of. So I kept backing them up and wanting the wedding in my town and not in the girl;s town 100 miles away.
Look, without going into the details of how misserable my life has become without my gf, just read my email: DO NOT LET THESE FAMILY DIFFERENCES COME IN THE WAY! WORK WITH YOUR PARTNER PLEASE and you two force your parents to understand the need for a full compromise. IF GOD made your match in heaven, he don't really care where you guys married!
If you want more details of how empty my life has become, to perhaps help you wake up on how silly the argument your two families are having is, email me...!
Take care and best of luck
2007-09-06 05:23:17 · answer #10 · answered by Rajiv T 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋