They were sent an invitation with just their name, no "and guest". They replied with "2" being the number of people attending. We already invited more than capacity for the reception cite expecting some people not to come. How do I tell my friends they cannot bring a guest?
2007-09-06 04:28:45 · 14 answers · asked by Rachel B 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
i'm afraid you're stuck here. i know you didn't put "and guest" on the invites and they shouldn't have assumed but, it's the norm to bring a guest to a wedding. no one wants to go stag really. i'm sure, the reception hall can make adjustments for you.
2007-09-06 04:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Actually it is probably not their fault. They probably didn't even realize that it didn't say "and guest" because most people plan properly. And it is a given in any social situation that one can bring a date, friend or spouse. Anything else shows a lack of class so you should be thankful that your friend assumes that you do. You should be thankful that they are friends enough to want to attend.
And it is actually proper form to bring someone. There is a reason behind this. As you are celebrating your union nobody wants to be standing around feeling and looking alone. Plus when they get there they see other people who did bring somebody. Then they start thinking "thats nice", are they just an add on to fill the room to celebrate your wonderfulness?
To be frank and not harsh but to answer honestly. I know somebody who tried this. She looked cheap and stupid. Word got around and she ended up with a whole lot more space than intended as other people chose not to show. Those who did show alone went through the motions and left. The place was as empty as could be halfway through the reception. And she ended up with a whole lot fewer friends.
Before you make any calls you may wish to modify your plans a bit first...... it can always be done.
2007-09-06 12:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by jackson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will have to call them and let them know you are limited on space and the reception hall cannot hold any more. They are rude to assume they may bring a guest when one was not invited.
2007-09-06 11:51:04 · answer #3 · answered by Kabu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I think your wedding planner should have forseen this happening. People typically bring a date, especially to a wedding. If you call and tell them to only bring themselves, not a date, they probably will just skip the event entirely. I know I would.
So, you have basically doubled the size of your guest list, and budget, without meaning to, and are going to have do some fast thinking.
Are there people on your guest list that you just invited to be polite and really dont care whether or not they come? You may have to call and uninvite them. This is extremely rude, but desperate times call for desperate measures. It is the lesser of two evils. If you call every person and tell them to come alone, you may have zero guests instead of just a handful of angry ones who got uninvited.
Another idea.......is to chose a number of them.....to uninvite to the wedding, and tell them, that due to poor planning you over invited ...sooooo
to fix the problem you are inviting them to an intimate reception for just a few people whom you really wanted to invite but couldnt actually invite to the wedding.
This way...they wont expect some big extravagent wedding/reception...but would still get to celebrate with you. The cost would be much cheaper...you could serve very casual food, serve a little wine, and maybe play cards or something instead of a huge reception for this group. Some of your guest might actually prefer this to having to dress up and go to some fancy wedding.
2007-09-06 11:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by pink 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
you need to contact them ASAP and inform them that as much as you'd love for them to bring a guest, it is just not possible per capacity at the reception.
if you send an invitation to someone and do not add "and guest" then you are not supposed to assume you can bring a guest. it's kinda tacky for them to invite a guest on their own.
2007-09-06 11:37:07 · answer #5 · answered by Brian S 5 · 9⤊ 0⤋
When you call to confirm that they are coming for your final count explain to them that you saw that they responded with 2 but due to your budget and the spacing there won't be allowed to bring a guest. I'm going to have the same problem with kids. Apologize for the inconvience but stand firm. You are paying this wedding not them.
2007-09-06 11:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by Latrice c 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have invited single people if you didn't want a guest. What kind of idiot invites more than capacity? Greedy much?
2007-09-06 12:47:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best response for that situation is to simply call your friends and explain that you won't be able to accommodate their guest at your reception because you've already gone past your budget and that you're very sorry for the inconvenience. If they are good friends, they'll understand. =D
Good luck! â¥
2007-09-06 11:37:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Send a polite letter stating that they are not to bring a guest since you did not give them the authority to bring one. If they insist simply tell them that should they bring a 'guest' then they shall be blocked from the event.
2007-09-06 11:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by You Ask & I Answer!!! 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Call them, be as polite as you can be, and let them know about the "oversight." Approach it from the view that they must have forgotten or gotten confused...don't be rude, be direct.
You have every right to decide how many people to invite to your function...the nature of an invitation is to include a particular person or persons, they don't get to decide who comes, you do.
2007-09-06 11:39:02 · answer #10 · answered by Michele 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋