need advice on how to potty train my 3 yr old daughter been trying for a year more details below....?

Question

like i said i v'e been trying to potty train her for a year we've done the big girl pantys buying the toy and candy thing. i'm at my wits end.she'll tell me when she goes in her pull up but i can't get her over to the potty. we've treid the training chairs and the seats that go onto the big toielt. any suggestions would be great

Answer 1

I hate pull-ups because they're just like diapers, but tear off. Kids are used to peeing in diapers, so they treat pull-ups the same way. Let her pick out panties...something she really likes. Once she has an accident in those and feels really wet, they get the idea of using the potty alot quicker.

I also taped a chart to the wall. Every time my child used the potty successfully, she got a star. Every 10 stars, she got a reward. Something small at first, and then the prizes would get a little bigger. By the time the week was up, she was potty trained, and I'd spent about 15 bucks on little gifts..well worth it.

Answer 2

I'm with PBnJ on this, I've worked in daycare and as a nanny and have toilet trained loads of kids, so be assured that this is common, you're not the only one in this situation. I've used.. 1) A reward system like the one descibed above, use stickers every time she goes on the potty and every 5 or 10 stickers she gets a little treat (like a new book or ice-cream), then a bigger treat after 50 (you can change how many she needs to suit your own situation, but you get the general idea) The big treat is something like an afternoon picnic in the park, it works best if the big treat is somewhere she'll have to use the potty cos then you can say she has to prove she can do it before you can go. 2) Have you tried cutting out the potty altogether and getting her to use the toilet? As she is a little bit older, maybe she would feel like a big grown-up girl using the toilet? Buy her one of those packs of kandoo toilet wipes, some fancy smelling handwash and a special hand towel, but she only gets to use them if she goes on the toilet. If you take her with you to get "her special things" she'll probably be more interested in using them. Make sure they're only for her - don't let the rest of the family use them. 3) Like PBnJ mentioned, you could try not giving her any attention when she goes in her pants. You don't say if it's just wees or poops or both, but I had one little boy who did both in his pants and refused to use the toilet/potty. In the end his mom decided to leave him in them (not for long, you don't want her to get a sore bottom cos that's a whole different set of problems!), say for 20 minutes or until she come and tells you. Don't make any fuss, just take the wet ones off, clean her up and give her clean ones to put on herself. If you can manage not to speak to her during this it's more effective. This method works in two ways - she'll be uncomfortable but also won't get any attention from you. I know it's frustrating, but keep at it, she'll get there in the end :o)

Answer 3

ok, she obviously knows when she goes. That is a step in the right direction.
What worked for me was putting my kids (boy and girl) in panties/undies and leaving them in those. The only time I would put a pull up on them was nap time and bed time. When they went in their panties I would leave them in them for a little bit...maybe 5 minutes or so, just so they would get really uncomfortable. Then I would change them into a pair of clean panties. This should work if you stick with it. I know it can be trying and it does take a lot of patience. Just put her on the little potties or the seats that go on the big potties since you already have them.
Another little tip, does she have any older siblings or cousins or anyone that is close in age that she looks up to? If so see if they can come over pretty often to have her watch. Explain to your daughter that So and So is a big girl/boy and goes to the bathroom in the potty, don't you want to be a big girl like that? This is another aspect that helped with us.
Good Luck.

Answer 4

I've had to potty train a boy and girl, my girl was potty trained at a year a half....my son? Ya...3 lol..

Lose the pull up! They feel exactly like a diaper on a baby's butt! We went out to the store and let her pick out her "big girl panties" and i told her as soon as she pees on the toilet (I never used a potty because there was yet another obstacle, potty to toilet, no thanks!) I put my daughter in a dress and let her go commando all day, she only had a couple of accidents. I would put a pull up on at night only and when she was waking up dry she wanted to wear her underwear...never had an accident since.

Don't get frustrated all kids are different, use some kind of incentive too...stickers etc...that always works :)

Good luck!

Answer 5

Been there done that... Took my daughter a whole year to be potty training..Finally knock on wood she has it down packed. She just turned 4 yesterday. She is also in daycare then they help alot.
However, You need to take her out of the pull-ups. They are fine for night time but during the day No more. Just have to keep at her.. every hour etc.. Keep her in the big girls undies. I know it will be messy. But that might do the trick. Good luck!

As my mom says "Nobody goes to Kindergarten in Diapers!"

Answer 6

I started really buckling down with my son yesterday and in ONE day, got a lot accomplished. I just put him in underwear and prepared myself to clean up the mess. He HATED the feeling of pee running down his legs. Also, I let him pee in the shower to learn that he has control over the stream of urine. He thought it was fun. He FINALLY realized he could stand at the potty and pee into it. That's what worked for us. Today is day 2 and going just about as well. No accidents YET. Nothing will work until they're ready though. That's the sucky thing about potty-training. Potty training for a year seems awfully rough though. I hope something changes soon. BEST OF LUCK.

*I know boys are different than girls, but hopefully some of that can be translated over for a girl.

Answer 7

I'd get rid of the pull ups (except nap and bedtime) and just take her to the bathroom every hour and have her sit and try. Just stick with the regular toilet (unless she's so small she'll fall in) and get rid of the extra stuff. That can make it too daunting for the little ones (just stuff for parents to spend money on and not necessary). Once she stars staying dry between each trip to the potty, stretch it out to an hour and a half. Once she does that and stays dry in between, 2 hours, etc.

The biggest reward she can get is you being happy she went on the potty! Jump up and down, spin around, clap your hands, be happy she did it. Ignore the accidents and just be happy and make a big deal when it goes well. She'll be so anxious to get your happy reaction, she'll be heading to the potty by herself before the next hour comes before you know it.

Answer 8

My sister did this with my neice and it worked immediately.She offered the potty to her frequently and my neice just refused. So, she kept her in her little panties and when my neice peed in them my sister had her sit in them for a few minutes to feel and learn the difference between a pull up and panties. My neice did not like that wet, yucky feeling even for a few minutes. (With pull ups, she couldn't tell any difference when she peed. ) My sister explained it to her that she had to wear panties now and if she wanted her bottom to stay clean and dry, she had to start using the potty. It worked that same day, with a few accidents in between. This didn't work with my son but I am convinced it's because he is a boy and messy doesn't bother him. With him, I read a book that said to plan an entire weekend to just focus on potty training. I had to take him like every 15 minutes, then every 30, every hour for a while. It was a pain in the butt, but it did work. Every kid is different, but I am a firm believer that pull ups are worthless for potty training. Your child cannot tell a huge difference between it and a diaper when they go potty in their pants.

Like Miami Lily, I used a potty chart with stickers that my son put on each time he used the potty. It really worked and I actually still have it !

Answer 9

With my son I left him in regular underwear during the daytime hours. I only put him in pull up at night. He did not like it at all when he went to the bathroom in his underwear and it went all down his legs. It took about a week of underwear when he finally began going in the toilet. He was about 2 1/2 when I started with pull ups and a month before he turned 3 I started the underwear. It was a tip from my mom, what she did with me. It worked for my son and when my youngest is that age I will try it again with him. Hope that helps give an idea to you...I know it can cause a few messes but if it works it will work fast. Good luck :)

Answer 10

Take the pull-ups off to start -- those are just stretchy diapers.
She's three - and unless she has a problem she should be able to control her bladder.

I agree with the posters who say - put her in undies and buy a bottle of carpet cleaner....it's time for potty training boot camp. I used this technique with all 4 of my children. We talked about it, we got ready for it, and I allotted a three full days of no activities to interrupt me, and away we went. I had to sop up a couple of puddles but other than that no big deal.

Get you and her some books for the bathroom - lol you'll need to be in there for awhile.