I recently, while putting some clothes away for my girl, found a small bottle of KY and 3 condoms (the ones you get in a three pack)...now we do not use a condom EVER when we have sex (yes, i know, you are saying DUMBASS)...but we don't. ...nonetheless...a little bit of the KY was used...it is in her bottom drawer next to her bed...is this something to be worried about...could they be from a long time ago and just forgot about them?....we have been together for 3 months and i see her everyday (meaning i see her everynight and weekends)...could she be saving them for OTHER sexual activities for us?...or do you think that they could have been for someone else...RECENTLY?...any thoughts...this is killing me...thanks guys!
...PS...she is on birth control...
2007-09-06 03:36:47 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe its from before she met you. That's my bet. I still have stuff in my bathroom cabinets from years ago lol. Man, I really need to clean that out!
2007-09-06 03:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by azrielle 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you were being a helpful partner by putting clothes away so don't think that you were snooping. Kudos to you and your parent/parents who brought you up to be an equitable partner.
Unless you are positive that she was a virgin before you met, chances are that she had these items from a previous relationship or could also be using them with sex toys (the actual battery operated toys...not boy toys or pool boys.)
Birth control pills are not 100% effective and are useless with regard to STDs and HIV/Aids. Condoms are extra safety, extra protection and if she has had a past intimate relationship, you can be thankful that she is intelligent enough to be using both methods for her future health and yours.
I hope that you rethink the fact that you are not using condoms together, unless you are positive that you are going to be long term partners who are considering being parents.
I will not call you names, you are obviously intelligent enough to know what you should be doing, or you would not have brought it up.
In today's world, three months is most likely considered to be an established relationship, but I am sure you both had lives and other partners before each other.
Take a deep breath, calm down and just talk to her about it. communication and honesty is the key here. Do not be accusatory, just ask in a calm manner.
I wish you and your girlfriend the best.
2007-09-06 04:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have checked the expiration date on the condoms if you wanted to decide whether or not they were recently purchased. Condoms usually take 2 to 3 years to expire. If they had a 2 to 3 year from now expiration date on them, then she had to have purchased them recently. The KY was probably used either out of curiosity (I am also curious about if that stuff really works; I have never tried it) or she might have used it while pleasing herself, you never know. She might have gotten both the condoms and KY from someone else or they were given to her as a joke or something. You will not know the real answer unless you ask her. Just go to her and ask her and let her know that you were not intentionally going through her things.
2007-09-06 03:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont worry. you have only been going out for 3 months. im sure the stuff you found is either from a previous relationship or as "just incase" when she was single. she might use the ky jelly for her own pleasure for when she is on her own if you see what i mean. and finding a full 3 pack of condoms is better than finding a 3 packet condom with only 1 in it. it sounds completly innocent to me but if you need to know and it is eating you up inside just tell her you found them. im sure she will be fine, after all you were just putting some clothes away for you, its not like you were snooping through her drawers. however if she does go all defensive and accuse you of snooping it is likely she is cheating. small chance of that though. good luck!
2007-09-06 03:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by Lethal-Lizzle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definately think that you have nothing to worry about. They have probably been there for a long time and she just forgot about them or just hasn't done anything with them. I have been engaged since May and before that we would occassional use condoms. I still have them in my draw from before I met him and that was a year ago in May. Seriously, don't worry about it. Maybe she used the KY when she was masturbated sometime. Or even when she was with you and you didn't even realize it. Don't sweat it, and just leave it alone. You could even tell her in a very non threatening non sholont way that when you were putting away some laundy that you came accross them and see what her reaction is, if it makes you feel beter.
2007-09-06 03:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by misbotta 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what KY is but nevertheless. OK you found contraceptives in her drawer i understand that you are worried and very concerned......she maybe put them there because you cant help to be protective you should always protect youself and maybe that s one of the reasons but question is were any of the condoms missing? well if yes you need to more about her background like who comes to visits her frenz and all of that she maybe using them yes but suppose a fren took one.. the only thing i can suggest right now is to be a man and go straight ahead let her know the problem and tell her how you feel. Thats the right thing to do.
2007-09-06 03:47:33 · answer #6 · answered by roxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of girls will use KY when they masturbate so I wouldn't be concerned at all about that. Ask her about the condoms, though. Might do you well to look and see what the expiration date is on them you might get an idea of how old they are that way. Probably nothing to worry about. You don't mention it but I suspect that you moved in with her so those items may have been there from before you moved in. Just ask her. If she's got nothing to hide then she'll be happy to answer your question.
2007-09-06 03:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
They might be from an ex-boyfriend. OR she might have slept with him (or another guy, but more than likely an ex if she did it at all). The same thing happened to me. I had some condoms and was still dealing with an on-again, off-again ex sexually (you know, here and there) and I met someone else and we dated a little and were intimate, but I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, really. I didn't know if what we had was going to really turn into a relationship. So I slept with my ex. I remember saying something to the new guy one day about us having 5 condoms left, and said he thought that we had 6. So I was busted and felt ashamed. But he wasn't too hard on me and said he understood that I didn't know that what we had was going to turn into something. But I felt so ashamed. It's been 11 yrs. and I still feel shamed just writing about it. Yikes!
P.S. Take this as an omen! Maybe it was meant for you to find those condoms since you claim to never practice safe sex! Maybe there's a message here. Listen to it.
2007-09-06 03:49:13 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They're probably from a while ago. And if there's 3 condoms from a 3 pack, at least she hasn't used them. If one of them disappears soon, I'd be worried.
Or you could always poke a hole in one of them and see if she turns out to be pregnant later. Then you'll know she was cheating on you.
But that's a joke. Don't do that. She's not cheating on you I'm sure your relationship is wonderful and they're just from an old boyfriend.
2007-09-06 03:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is this: She has had those things a long time, and probably doesn't even think about them being there. Sometimes OB/Gyn offices hand them out. Sometimes pharmacies. There are dozens of reasons why they are there, and, most likely, none of them have anything to do with her cheating on you. You can ask her, flat out, if you like, but take it from an old woman who has been places you haven't even found yet.....if you ask her, she is going to start looking at you in an entirely different light, and it will eventually erode your relationship. Which, I might add, is already eroding if you have to obsess over a three pack of condoms left in your girlfriend's drawer. Tell me, could your place stand up to such scrutiny from her?
2007-09-06 03:56:09 · answer #10 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The KY might actually be hers for her own personal experiences when you're not around. Or maybe she bought it in anticipation of getting it on with you. I know I have condoms up there from before I met my guy that I forgot were there. I DOUBT she would be fooling around on you. Give her some credit but if you honestly have doubts, just ask her what its for
2007-09-06 03:42:53 · answer #11 · answered by madison5247 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋