My 2-year-old's daycare gives treats every day when the kids leave. When my daughter was old enough, they started giving her a treat as well. At first, it was cute because she was so excited about it. It has steadily gotten a little ridiculous. When I go pick her up, she runs to the treat bowel and says, "treat! I want treat!" She's not a brat about it, but she wants one just like everyone else gets one. Sometimes their treats are not age appropriate for her (gum, hard candy, etc) and it is up to me to tell her no and take her out to the car where sometimes she cries, but most of the time she puts her head on my shoulder and gets really sad, like she can't understand what she did wrong. I also don't want her to be spoiled and expect a treat every day. I think a treat is a TREAT, something you get every now and then. How do I convey this to my child, and how do I determine what days she gets them? If i left it up to her daycare she'd get a treat every day. They can't say no.
2007-09-06 03:16:09 · 14 answers · asked by Katie G 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Or, am I being to strict? Should I just let her have the treat every day?
She has been at this daycare since she was 6 weeks old, and it is in a lady's home. I love the lady, and she does a great job. I won't put my daughter anywhere else.
2007-09-06 03:17:06 · update #1
Well, I disagree with most answers and agree with you. A treat is a special occassion thing - not an everyday thing. A child should not be rewarded for simply behaving well at daycare. This only teaches bribery and the child learns to behave because there is candy (or stickers or whatever) at the end. Children should behave because it's the right thing to do, because it's respectful, and their reward is they feel good about themselves because the grown ups praise them for their good behavior. A sticker for learning to tie their shoes or something is a reward - but should be used after the fact. The child should not expect it.
I would just talk to the provider. On one hand, you don't want your child being the only one not getting candy, but on the other, I do think she should not be offering sugary candy (so the kids won't sleep well) every day. An idea would be - maybe she could only offer it on Friday's, but tie it to what they learned that day. Maybe have a little review-quiz-type thing and the candy is for the correct answers. She can structure it so that every child gets a correct answer so no one is left out. Otherwise, I'd just ask her to stop doing it. She can just tell the kids she didn't get to the store and ran out. They'll forget about it in 2 days.
2007-09-06 03:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the treat idea at the end of the day is a good one. However, the treat should be something age appropriate AND something not so bad for them as candy. Perhaps a cookie (A cookie, not two or three), a cheese cracker, a small kid's size bottle of flavored water (not juice or punch, just the flavored water they have out now), or anything similar. You should talk to your daycare about this and ask them to provide something more age appropriate and something more beneficial. If they refuse, perhaps you could provide the treat for the week and let them hold it to the side just for her -- your daughter won't know its coming from you. That way she gets her treat and you don't have to say no and it won't be a bad thing.
I agree with a previous answer who said she deserves the treat. And she does. At two years old, it's good to have her excited about going to daycare so that she doesn't have anxiety about being there (believe me, it happens, even though she's been going for so long), and the treat will help with this. It will help reiterate in her mind that daycare is a good thing. But again, make it a good treat.
2007-09-06 03:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by Goddess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At one daycare my daughter went to they did the same thing except they asked the parents if it was ok. Normally they kept dum-dums (suckers) but occasionally they would put other kinds of candy in the basket.
They should definately have age appropriate treats, I wouldn't give my 2 year-old hard candy. Maybe you should mention that.
If she was good at daycare, I see no problem with giving her some sort of reward at the end of the day. Maybe you could give her a treat yourself instead of what the daycare offers. That way she wouldn't think she did anything wrong.
As long as she didn't break any rules or act out, I would give her a little something. If you think every day is too much, maybe you could reward her with something better once a week. Maybe a trip to the dollar store to pick out a toy or something.
2007-09-06 03:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by ambertmbg1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to you daycare person and ask if she could make sure that there is something more age appropriate for your daughter and maybe start to incorporate some more healthful ideas so its not always sugar, gum and candy. If this lady has had your daughter for such a long time I would think she would understand. If she isn't willing to do this then maybe you can have a "treat" special for your daughter waiting in the car. I don't think it is terrible to offer a treat every day after day care for being well behaved or such as long as it is age appropriate and sometimes healthful.
Just my opinion.. hope that helps.
2007-09-06 04:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by tarac0202 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The provider enjoys giving the children a treat at the end of each day as a "thank you". She obviously enjoys her time with the children and feels a small treat is appropriate. If you have problems with the age related treats I would talk to her about this and suggest something more appropriate. I think if your child is used to this it would be hard for her at her young age to understand why she would get the treat one day and not the next. This would be especially hard if all the other children get one and she doesn't. I understand why you want the treat to be worth the "treat". Your provider must feel that it is necessary. Her asking for it at the end of the day is natural. At her age, she doesn't realize that is seems rude to ask and I am sure the provider doesn't think of it this way. Good Luck!
2007-09-06 03:33:20 · answer #5 · answered by D's Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your daughter has a great relationshio with this lady. How about if you provide the going away treat and stop calling it a 'treat'. Call it 'Yay Mommy is Here' or 'Going Home'. Give the daycare provider a sheet of stickers and she can pick a sticker out when she goes home. I agree that gum & hard candy are inappropriate. Or if she wants to give a food treat, offer a handful of raisins or a couple of apple slices. Much healthier choices.
But you're the parent so please don;t feel like you need to tip-toe about the issue. Say what you mean!
2007-09-06 03:25:03 · answer #6 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem with getting a small treat at the end of the day. I do see a problem with giving gum and hard candy as a treat though. Maybe you could carry some crackers or fruit snacks in your purse. That way you could give her a treat, but it would be age appropriate.
2007-09-06 03:39:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. I think that whoel treat thing is a TERRIBLE idea. The only thing I would suggest is for you to tell her that you have a snack for her in the car. So, have at the ready a little bag of goldfish, maybe a little dumdum lollipop, or a yoghurt drink.
But GUM? For a 2-year old. Ridiculous.
You could also ask the lady to have treats that are appropriate for lal ages and maybe not quite so junly. Depends upon your relationship with her.
2007-09-06 03:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would talk to the lady that owns ther day care and ask her if she couldent just give treats if they learn an alphabet letter, or a nursery rhyme, for an award for learning, i agree with you 100% about what this will teach her, also scence they have been getting treats and looking foward to them theyll more likely try learning things more in order to get a treat, im sure the daycare provider will understand and agree that would be an excellent ideal, shes just trying to be nice and give them treats at the end of the day, you might also tell her the treats everyafternoon kinda mess up her wanting supper, i hope i helped alittle anyway, have a great day!
2007-09-06 03:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why doesn't she deserve a treat everyday at the end of a hard day? Being 2, and playing all day is hard work! If there are some time some inappropriate treats throw a couple of acceptable things in your purse to give her on those days.
She's just being a kid who is getting used to a routine even in her day -- and probably works hard to be a good girl because she wants that treat at the end of the day.
On this one I have to say - Mom you're taking something way to seriously that isn't all that serious.
2007-09-06 03:26:28 · answer #10 · answered by Susie D 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋